The Pregnant Mama's Brain

19 Weeks, 5 Days (Only 142 More Days To Go)

Every time I write something, I think … Is this TMI (too much information)? So I apologize if anything makes you blush - chances are that if you are, I was too in writing it. Don't worry though, I'm not planning on writing anything awkward at this moment.

Recently I have realized that pregnancy brain has been a pretty big deal this time around. Just the other day I forgot what year it was. Is it 2014 or 2015? … It's 2015. It has been for three months. There have been worse cases, I just can't think of any. Ha! I can't keep our plans straight (and we have a lot of plans what with me teaching and doing the library newsletter, Luke starting kindergarten, an up-coming and necessary family trip, church meetings and camp, not to mention my pre-natal appointments, etc.), so sticky-notes and that convenient little notebook phone app have become my closest friends. There are a lot of things in the works right now; it's kind of like that "calm before the storm", although in this case the storm really isn't that bad - it's just a bunch of scheduled things I need to be prepared for.

Mainly I've been anxious about naming the baby and re-arranging the room. And these aren't even a current MUST DO. It's just that I heard that the second trimester is when pregnant mamas have the most energy, so I'd like to get furniture moved and get the house clean now before I'm too big and can't bend over, or before I'm too tired. Except it all seems to revolve around March 24th... the day we find out if baby is a boy or a girl. I can't decorate the room and make plans if I'm set on girly stuff for a girl, and neutral stuff for a boy. Sorry boys, blue is overrated. Aldo wants to wait to even think of baby names. He says we didn't have any names for Luke before we knew what he was (Untrue. We had a girl name picked out. And we can't use it this time around because someone else got to it before we did.) If it happens to be a girl, here's a reminder: pick a boy name out too. Just in case. Doctors can sometimes miss things on the screen and surprise, you have a boy when you were expecting a girl! The odds aren't in our favor either. Aldo and I both really want a girl. Everyone at church has had recently or is expecting a girl. We already have a boy. Chances are… we're having a boy. I dreamt I was having a girl though, so that's something I guess. But Miss C said she had a feeling we're having a boy.
Feelings… ugh. And as I was writing this up, I looked to the Chinese Gender Chart which predicted it's a girl. March 24th, you couldn't come soon enough!

The second thing on my mind right now is our family trip. Here we come Omaha and St. Louis!
I picked some places based on where to travel in April, then we narrowed it down by process of elimination. We got down to Omaha and St. Louis and couldn't decide. Aldo wanted Omaha because our first experience was shared with another family - Did we miss out on things we would enjoy? I wanted a place we've never been before - Would St. Louis meet our expectations? We made a pro/con list and you wouldn't believe it, but by going to both we're doing what WE want to do and saving money. We've booked the first hotel and kind of planned out where we're going in each city on what day, but we still need to make reservations on a few more things.

There's so much more on my mind, I'd like to put it all down, but just typing them is kind of overwhelming. I'm trying to take one thing at a time and keep my stress level low.

Some high points:

- The other day, we drove around in the car looking at houses for sale in different areas. We saw what's out there. And explained to each other what we were looking for. It was nice. One day, that dream house will be there. Hopefully a little sooner than later. I'm ready for us to be on our own. I'm ready for a house warming, for cook-outs and play dates, and sunlight!

- I'm feeling kicks. I might have already said this before, but baby is AWAKE at 2:00pm and onward. Someone told me I should keep track of my kick count?? Never heard about that with Luke, so I've just been making sure there's movement daily. We're all good.

- Maecy got married! Mom, Luke, and I went to her courtroom wedding on Friday, March 13th. At Christmas, they kind of hinted at it to the family, and about a month ago Maecy sent us a picture of the ring. Then about two weeks ago, she called me up and said she had some news and she was afraid to tell me. Did you get married already? Nope. We're pregnant! Maecy and Juan are preggers!! She's due at the end of October! Honestly, I couldn't be more excited. I would love for our babies to be close in age and for Mace and me to share pregnancy stories and frustrations with each other as we're going through it. There's no one else I'd rather be pregnant with. There's no one else I'd rather plan a nursery with (Aldo just doesn't get it - sorry, no offense honey) and no one else I'd rather buy tutu's with.

So come on March 24th - you're only a week away.

Announcing Mr. & Mrs. Tarin • 3/13/2015 • Outside the Johnson County Courthouse

Guess What? - Surprise #2

18 Weeks

Really there are two surprises. The first surprise is that my sister is getting married. It's weird that she's getting married at age 20, the same age I did. Was I really that young? She told me this a while back. Actually, I found out through a text message of mom's. She didn't even tell me. She sent mom a line of pictures of her modeling and then a picture of her ring at the end. They are getting married this Friday in the courthouse.
The second surprise is that she's having a baby! Due at the end of October. I've only known for five days, but it's been the funnest thing. We've talked about us both having girls and dressing them and decorating the nursery. I also like being able to give her advice on applying for health insurance and choosing an OB/GYN. You know, important stuff. And confirming her pregnancy symptoms (Today she asked if itchiness and bad gas were side effects. Hahahahahaha. Sorry to tell you that those aren't the worst of it.)

A good place to tell you what's going on with my body at the moment…
• My skin has been really dry on my face, and sensitive. It burns to put on moisturizer.
• I guess my belly "popped". To me, it just looks like I can't suck in my fat anymore. When I tell people they're like - Oh, I guessed or wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to say anything; you're so small. In other words, GEEZ GIRL! YOU'VE GAINED SOME WEIGHT SINCE I LAST SAW YOU! It's okay though, no offense taken here.
• Nausea is gone! Smells are still strong, but not sooo strong. (The couch still stinks but I can sit in the living room. I don't like when the trash wafts throughout the house. That's a normal thing though.) AND, I can eat ice-cream again! And drink milk! The other day I had two bowls of cereal. I was so happy. For the longest time I've been staying away from dairy. Almond milk just doesn't cut it. Right when I discovered Dark Chocolate Almond Milk - yummmm - the joy of regular milk has come back.
• Having it rough sleeping at night. I remember when preggo with the first that near the end I'd get up throughout the night having to go to the bathroom. Not so here. I'm only 4 months pregnant and I can't get comfortable in bed. Ever since I was sick with the cold I can't breathe out of my right nostril when I'm laying on my right side. So… I sleep on my left side. (Sleeping on the side is doc's orders.) Sleeping only on my left side makes my arm and shoulders and back and neck hurt. Switching back and forth relieves the pain, but it's hard to sleep on my right when I can't breathe. Ugh. And switching back and forth doesn't help when you're trying to have the best sleep of your life. You know the kind… when you are so out, you start drooling?
• The best part, I'm feeling movement! About 2:00 in the afternoon every day, I feel a couple of arms maybe and also a torpedo roll or something. Sometimes at night before bed. Not so much in the morning. If I had to choose… I'd sleep in too.

I've discussed with Aldo how we need to start thinking of names, but he insists we wait until we know boy or girl. I'm still thinking though. I've come across some names that I liked from the Bible - Solome and Tamar - but both having not bad meanings, have terrible stories. Promiscuity, conspiracy, abused, etc. I think not. I look for names when I can. Books, movie credits, etc. Aldo has so far vetoed Baelfire (Once Upon a Time, TV Series) and Hiro (Big Hero 6, Movie), Wolfgang (man whose cabin my family stayed in a while back when we went to Wyoming) and some others… basically all of the cool names. 

Looking forward to March 24th! The day we find out…
Be ready to see an announcement!

What's New

16 Weeks

Today we went for another monthly checkup.

Nurse/Doctor Questions with My Answers:
• Weight: 210 lbs.
• How are you feeling? Much better. Not sick anymore, not like the first trimester. Occasionally nauseous in the morning, but I eat a bit before or after I take a shower and that helps. Slowly going longer without snacking too. (It used to be I'd have to snack every 2 hours to keep away the nausea.)
• Are you on any medication? Just Flinstones vitamins!
• Your blood pressure is a little high, have you been having headaches? Not really. Was today a bad day, anything stressing you out? We had school, but the kids weren't bad or anything. I think it was a good day actually. Cranky? Yes. Lately I've noticed I've been more "short" and I'm not usually like that. My emotions are everywhere. <Aldo nods in agreement.>
• Are you sleeping on your side? Yes. Sometimes, though, I'll start on my back and switch to my side shortly after.
• How is your energy? Well, it feels like it's coming back… Today I feel like I could wash dishes <Aldo raises eyebrow> or run or something. (I think this is because I had a good day. The feeling of running or washing dishes won't last. Ha!)
• Have you felt any movement do you think? I thought maybe in my 14th and 15th week, but I wasn't for sure because it was so early. I've been trying to zone in on it to see if I feel anything, but nothing has happened recently. We have a small, hand-held heart monitor at home that lets us listen to the baby and we've been doing that. (It's hard telling yourself that you're pregnant when it doesn't seem that way, so listening has helped make it real.)

We heard the baby's heartbeat again. It's a healthy heartbeat; the quickness of it is perfect.
And my question, because we're planning a family trip for April, when I'll be 51/2 months pregnant, and we don't have the destination finalized yet, was when can't I travel? The last 3-4 weeks of pregnancy, same if by plane.

Other things that are new - I've been having a lot of cramping lately. I figure it's just growth. And zits are popping up everywhere! In places I don't normally get them! Just another piece of evidence that my hormones are out of whack. Ahh, the fun things of pregnancy that no one cares to mention.

Baby, This is Your Brother

13 Weeks, 5 Days (almost 14 Weeks)

Thought you would like to know a little bit about your brother.

He's a bit crazy. But then again, we all kind of are. 

Daddy makes these awesome faces that I think Luke has inherited. 

But he has my humor. He's really funny.

He likes birthdays, playing games, playing with toys, playing outside, helping with things like cooking or feeding animals. I think you'll have a lot of fun together. He's very entertaining. And photogenic as you can see - but that's just genes. You'll be photogenic too. Prepare for a ton of pictures.

Recently he's been taking swimming lessons. I'm pretty sure he plans on teaching you how to swim, among other things - in no significant order… riding bikes, saying words, pointing out which foods taste really good, how to clean your room, how to walk, maybe telling you some stories, how to fight (you can gang up on Daddy, so it will be "how to be the good guy"), and other important things in life.

Luke is very creative. He gets that artistic side from me. And he's imaginative. I think you two will have many adventures together, make-believe and real.

He'll also teach you about right and wrong. You don't know it, but when this picture was taken, he wrote his name on the couch in Sharpie too. That is bad. Writing on yourself, eh… maso menos… not too bad depending on if you have somewhere to go. Writing on library books - also bad. Writing or coloring on a coloring book - good. You'll figure it out.

And finally, I don't think he'll show favoritism if you are a boy or a girl. He'll play dress up with you if you're a girl. He'll play dress up with you (as a ninja turtle or whatever) if you're a boy. His favorite color used to be pink and purple, but it's changed to green. (Actually I think it changes daily, but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.) This picture can also be used as blackmail if you need it for the future. Only if necessary though. Don't just go and embarrass him in front of his girlfriend or friends. You don't need to be the awnry child.

I must also mention a warning… Grammy will teach you a lot of things, and let you do/get away with a lot of things (She will let you eat dirt, teach you to say things… can't think of anything specifically now, but there will be times… and make you pose in front of a camera when you may regret it later). To be fair, this is a picture of Luke in one of Maecy's old Halloween outfits. He would go from Mermaid to Merman by changing that top to a belt. But he's very particular - he likes things how they are supposed to be, so he stuck with mermaid. And I quote, "because they are MADE by God."

***

He's a good brother. And he already cares a lot for you. He prays for you, he tells you to stop making Mommy not feel so good (… "and sorry for having to tell you to stop"…). He's thinking up names for you. So far we have Soa, which sounds like soda. He said Yella once, but decided against it because he doesn't want you to yell all of the time. There were more, some he couldn't even pronounce. But I hope that you are friends for life and beyond. That you help each other out. And speak rightly to and about each other. I love you.

It's That Time of Season

* Note: I came back and edited this particular post. Edits in Blue. If a portion was deleted I'll put a … symbol.

Week 13

I told myself I wouldn't mention it so much because when I finally read Luke's blog book all I talked about was being sick. We were sick ALL OF THE TIME. Or so it seemed because that's all I wrote about. So I told myself, we'll skip that part this time around and I'll try to get all of the other stuff.

At this time, it has to be mentioned. It has a post of it's own. And I say "home living" as one of the labels, but I should say "bed ridden, not really enjoying the entire home…".
Nausea has been so bad this time around. … With Luke, I remember eating Cup-O-Noodles all of the time because I couldn't stand the smell of other things, especially chicken carbonara. And poor Aldo had slaved away making a huge pot of it. There were times when I was able to eat peaches and pop tarts, but that was mainly it. The only time I got nauseous was in the car. And it didn't last weeks upon weeks. It was fairly short. This one is completely on the flip side. I've been able to eat anything, mostly anything. Fruit, carbs, steak, Chinese food, spicy Mexican, chocolate… anything. I've been staying away from milk and ice-cream, which is unfortunate because I really like cereal and I would love a Sheridan's concrete right now. But nausea has been morning, noon and night. As it's been tapering off, it's been morning and night, which is really hard on Aldo because that's the only time I see him.
Then this week happens. I caught the cold… (Thank goodness the kids were angels.) … I stayed in bed for 2 days straight.
The worst day was when my taste went haywire… Coming home one night I was eating a protein bar … I had eaten one that morning, which was delicious and perfect. This one tasted spicy hot, like cayenne pepper. My mouth was on fire. I was riding with mom and had her taste it; later she said she tried hard to find the cayenne but didn't taste one bit of spice. The next day I had another for breakfast. Spicy cayenne. For lunch I went and got lemonade and a tuna sandwich. Drinking the lemonade, I could still taste the cayenne. I was like, forget this. I'll eat the tuna. That should help. It's a strong flavor, strong smell right? The tuna sandwich tasted like cayenne. That night I ordered Chinese food, sweet and sour soup and egg rolls. The soup was great. I couldn't taste a thing. When Aldo got home, he tasted it and said it was unbearably spicy, he couldn't finish it, and it was making him sweat! I cried. I can take the nausea. I can take the cold. I can't take the fact that every food tastes like cayenne pepper.
… Mucinex and Acetaminophen (tylenol) have been the dynamic duo in getting rid of this. For sure, I've been on everything during this pregnancy. (Prescribed antibiotics for sickness when we found out, UTI antibiotics, prescribed prenatals, over-the-counter prenatals, Emetrol, Diclegis, Flinstones vitamins, Mucinex, tylenol… I'm a walking pharmacy.)
Speaking of, I wanted to say that I like Emetrol best, over anything else (future reference)…

Aldo said that with Luke I was sick maybe three times. Well, this is number one with this pregnancy. I think we should try and keep it that way… sanitize it up, ok?

P.S. I went through 4 boxes of Kleenex.

Hearing the Heartbeat

Week 12

My doctor's visit with Dr. Jessie Holmes was rescheduled with another OB because she was sick. So, not my regular doctor, but since Aldo had already taken off work early, I decided to stick with it.
We ate at McDonalds beforehand one, we had the time, and two, because Luke and I have an agreement that with every doctor visit (at least the monthly ones… when they become more frequent this might change) we get to go to McDonalds. Wasn't feeling too well, even after eating. Nausea has been terrible. I had several questions that we planned on asking about: Is there anything else for nausea besides Emetrol? (Walmart has been all out of it for a while and I need something.) I haven't be taking my prescribed or over-the-counter prenatals; is that ok? Is there anything for dryness when you're preparing to breastfeed?
The nurse got onto me about several things - not keeping the bagful of samples that was filled with prenatals, not peeing in the right cup, etc. They all like Aldo, but not me. :(
The doctor was very understanding and nice. She said that nausea will die down, probably immediately because it starts about this time and goes as far as the 14th week. She would also get me some samples that she's had a lot of good results with, Diclegis. As for prenatals, take two kids' Flinstones vitamins. They are easier on the stomach and have same amount of folic acid that I need. The nurse answered the last one, use cocoa butter lotion.
Next, the doctor was ready to hear the heartbeat. Beforehand, Luke had told me how excited he was to see the baby. Aldo and I explained that we aren't seeing the baby, we're listening for the heartbeat. I elaborated and said that we want to make sure that there's just one heartbeat and not ten. If there are ten, then there are ten babies. One equals one baby. Two is two. Etc. His eyes got real wide when I mentioned the ten babies. It was funny. Aldo and I started talking about twins. And that's when the doctor came in.
So she was ready to listen. She let Luke hold the machine, while she squirted the goop and moved the wand to find the heartbeat. It was on my left, lower-than-I-thought, side. When the heartbeat came on, I cried. I don't know why. Realization that it's real. That there's a little person in there and it's not all for nothing, even though I knew that before when I have been feeling sick and all of this stuff, but it was really real - we're having a baby. And it's like a whole different story. I can't even explain it. I was just emotional. I started laughing because I was crying. I looked at Aldo the whole time (he was probably teary, but I couldn't see through my tears). And Luke was there this time! I started laughing and it made it difficult for her to get the heartbeat, so I had to calm myself and make my body hold still.
Later, Aldo explained that this was a huge milestone. It's good to hear a heartbeat. When you don't, that's the difficult news you don't want to hear. He has such legitimate worries, and he keeps them down so it doesn't stress me out. How loving he is, for real. I found a good man right there. And a great, awesome, cool dad. Luke can vouch.
After the machine was put away, she explained the next two months. And then mentioned how Luke is going to be a great brother. Luke said, "I just don't know the number," all quizzically. We didn't know what he talking about, but then he asked, "Are there 10 babies in there?" I about died. No, just one. Well, it's not for sure until the sonogram, but probably just one. Also, "I wanted to hear the baby talk." The doctor went into a long explanation of how babies can't breathe in the belly because they don't have oxygen in their lungs. He turns to me and I say, "And Luke, you didn't teach the baby any words yet." Ohhhh… "I'll teach the baby to say Ma MA." "Don't teach the baby to say it weeeird."

A good doctor visit altogether. Glad we could share it, Aldo, Luke and me.
Later that night we went to Stix because I had been craving it and we had a gift card. Luke was so funny the whole time, using his chopsticks and telling the chef that he's doing a good job on his cooking. Asking the other ladies at the table if they like their food, and so on. The night ended with him calling out each person at the table and having them read the entirety of their fortune individually. His was a weird one, so I read it as, "It says - You are the best." He was so surprised and really… elated. As we were getting ready to go, he asked the ladies if they had ever been to our house before. He counted them… 1… 2… 3… 4… "Ya, I think you could all fit in our car." Before he went any further, we went home. Aldo was pretty proud, in a way, that his son could've picked up four ladies at the same time. Better watch him.

Wild Dreams

(The date and time stamp is a lie. I haven't been doing too well at writing my thoughts and happenings down on here. So the date is guess-work, but everything else really did happen.)

Welcome to the weeks 8-ish through 10-ish

I debated on the title of this entry too. The other option was "Enter Sandman" because I looked it up and as it turns out during the first trimester, pregnant women start having more dreams (probably from changing bodies, more sleep, and anxieties), and also more vividly. So here is a wide range of dreams I have had throughout the first trimester. Yay! (I don't mind dreams at all. Sometimes. As you will soon enough discover what my anxieties are…)

DREAM #1: "EARLY BABY"
Actually the first dream belongs to Aldo. He woke up one morning and said that he had this weird dream where I had to have the baby early. There were a lot of details. I think part of it was that I had to have the baby moved from me to a surrogate but then during surgery something went wrong, so they just gave me the teeny tiny baby. I don't know… sorry. But anyway, it was traumatic enough that it led to me having a dream the following night.

For some reason, I had to go in to the hospital and deliver early. There wasn't really any scene here in the middle, so skip forward and I'm in the hospital bed and they are handing me my baby. I'm expecting a little thing. Well, they give me this fat, white, chubby boy. I look at him and you know how you're supposed to have that baby bond… I didn't have it. Instead, I think uhhhh… this isn't my baby. I don't like this one. This baby isn't cute. Now all of that is in "dreamworld", but in "real life" I'm thinking oh my goodness, how can I be so heartless? This is a baby. How could I ever turn a baby away because he/she's ugly and I have no connection? Make a connection. 
After spending some time holding this big baby, I finally realize, this isn't the size of a premie baby. This is the size of a full term chunk. And, this one looks nothing like me or Aldo. Baby couldn't possibly be mine. I argue with the nurses for a long time, but eventually we get to the point where somehow I agree to take this one home for a trial period. ??? Even though I know in my mind, it's not a trial… they're just making me take this one home. So I'm in the van (which we don't have) and holding this boy and I'm just really despising him. Sorry chunky baby white boys out there! And I'm starting to cry because I know this couldn't possibly be mine. As I'm waking out of sleep in "real life", I briefly imagine that it goes back to ICU at the hospital. And in one of those clear, heated beds is the most beautiful and small, dainty caramel-complected (complexion?) baby girl, with a flower on her head that's covered in dark brown hair. She is sooo beautiful. And I realize, the babies were switched.
So when I woke up, I told Aldo.
The Obvious, Fear #1 - I get the wrong baby. He said he won't let that happen. From breath, he won't let this baby out of his sight. Good man. :)
The Deep, Fear #2 - I have baby blues and don't like the baby. Interesting, because with Luke I had a dream that the baby didn't like me. This time around I'm dreaming that I don't like the baby. Aldo said he would also help me with this if it comes up.

DREAM #2: "I FORGOT"
I had one in between #1 and #3, but since I held out so long on writing this up, I can't remember. Instead, there have been some short ones that have been funny.
There was one where I was playing cards with Jerad and he was cheating. Wouldn't happen in real life, even though he is competitive.
And there have been frequent ones where I wake up mad at Aldo. The one that stands out is when he and Pastor T lock me in the basement. I don't know why. I can't give you more info. I couldn't even tell Aldo later when I explained why I kicked him in his sleep. Hard too. But I knew I was mad because "he was being mean". It was a dream, honey. I couldn't believe he locked me in the basement! And Pastor too!

DREAM #2.5: "JUST REMEMBERED - THE APARTMENT"
Ha! I just remembered. I'm glad because this was a good one!
One day, Maecy comes over and says she's renting a new apartment and do I want to be her roommate. I, without hesitation, say Yes. I was making spaghetti, so I say, let me finish and we'll have it for dinner at the new place. I put the finished spaghetti and it's pot into a bigger pot, and I have a lot of dirty dishes, all silverware, so I put the silverware surrounding in the bigger pot and decide I'll clean that at the new apartment. We leave. I don't pack clothes, furniture, anything.
On the way, Maecy must have been reading my thoughts because she tells me it's fully furnished. (It's in Olathe.) So we get there and it is the weirdest layout of an apartment I have ever seen. Immediately I go to the kitchen which is by the front door, and start washing my silverware. Then she tells me to go look at my room. The kitchen is a long rectangle, so I walk out and my door is right next to the kitchen. I walk in and first thing I notice is that there's quite a bit of space. And it has it's own bathroom. Not like you're thinking though. All of the furniture is pushed up against the edges. So starting to the left, is the toilet, then the stand-in shower (and all of this is not separated, and it looks like it was built for the elderly or handicapped), then the closet, the bed (hey, which is big enough for me and Aldo)… oh my gosh, Aldo! I didn't even ask or tell Aldo! Oh my gosh, Luke! Where is Luke going to sleep? Next is a large dresser and that's the end of the room. Now if it were just Aldo, Luke and me, we might be able to make it happen. Luke would need a smaller bed than he has in "real life" and it would be in the middle of the room and in the way, but it could work. Then I realize, I'm about ready to have a baby. There is absolutely no space here. And, Olathe is so far away from NFM for Aldo. And, what am I going to do with Luke? What about school? This was not thought through…
I walk out slowly, not knowing how I'm going to tell Maecy, when she asks if I want to see her room. I go over to her room (by the way… where is the living room???), which is so much bigger than mine. I tell her my concerns and she said she thought Luke could sleep with her in her room. Either way, not going to work. I start naming people that would be good replacements for roommates: Ruby (they could carpool), Melissa T. (also could carpool, same age, values, and she's actually looking for an apartment), Jamaica T. (might want to start looking for an apartment soon, she goes to Olathe a lot anyway). Then I woke up. And because my brain was going, I kept making a list of people she could roommate with if the situation ever came up.

DREAM #3: "THE LION & THE FENCE"
Mom owned a lion and kept it in a tall (top open) fence in the back yard of our "real life" house. The chickens and ducks don't exist I guess. The day comes when she's teaches me and has me feed the lion for the first time. Basically there's a door, which is also made out of fence, that latches in the upper half of the fence. You take a large pole and unhook it, removing the door completely so there is a window-sized gap, throw the meat through the hole and then hook it back up. I get the first part done, but I can't get the door back on. It's too heavy; the pole isn't stable; it's just not working. The lion has finished eating his meat by now, and mom is yelling at me that I need to get the door on. I'm trying, but I just can't get it to hook. The lion starts climbing up the fence slowly and as his head peaks over the opening, and my heart is pounding, I swing the door and knock him on the head with it. He falls back and shakes it off for a time while I'm still trying to get the door on. When he looks up, fear just overcomes me. I can tell this lion is T I C K E D. He walks over, all masculine and domineering like, and to sum it up (because I can't remember the exact quote, even though it was so elegantly put) he says, "I'm going to eat you." Well, he jumps up the fence and out the door in seconds flat. I don't know why he didn't just maul me right there because the chance was wide open, but somehow I ended up climbing up the fence and escaping his flying paw from grabbing my legs. I make it up to the top of the fence. And jump down on the inside of his cage. He climbs up, I climb up the other side. We go back and forth. Until I realize, it's not "real life"; this is "dreamworld", and I start making up my own finish - in the background, mom escaped and went and got the Durango. She pulled up in the back yard and I jump in the passenger seat. The lion rams into the vehicle, but we survive. I wake up.

My heart was pounding so fast! I thought that the baby's heart had to be pounding too. I was worried that all this adrenaline couldn't be good for the baby and it worried me. Couldn't sleep. So for the rest of the night I was thinking of all of these questions I MUST ask J about the time he owned cougars in "real life". This was not my first, "the cougar/lion escaped" dream. But pregnant, it was worrisome.
Questions: How did you feed them? How did you make repairs on the cages? How did you even know how to build the cages? How do you still have your arms???

DREAM #4: "ISAAC"
There was some time that passed before this one happened. I'm including it because it's still a good dream and re-opens some of my fears.
It was the day to deliver… I guess. And they give me my baby. Weirdly enough, Goldie comes at me yelling how it's her baby, not mine. I'm like - no, this is mine. They gave him to me. There wouldn't be any confusion… I have the paperwork, etc. She leaves because there really isn't anything she can do.
Now, the hospital is attached to a Walmart, which is also attached to a water park. Big place, I know! I realize, I didn't get a car seat and I need one. So I go over to Walmart and look for a car seat. As I'm looking at them all they have are these like unusually small sizes, my baby has a bigger head. I decide, I'm just going to have to wing it and drive while holding the baby or buckle him in. Then I look at vacuum cleaners because we need one. They are really expensive, so I decide on a hand-held to vacuum up the poop. ?!?!?! Ya…
I overhear someone talking about a seat in the pool equipment section… I go over there. It's just a weird dream. I'm looking at all of the pool toys and imagining how fun it will be when we go to the pool and can use all of these toys. Then, the baby sees the water park and points. We walk over, my shoes getting wet on the fake beach part. And he says, "down". And runs to play in the water by the wooden jungle gym and slide. As he's running around he's saying words, one being "mom". It occurs to me that a newborn can't say words. Nor can they walk or run. Or point. Man, this is a big baby. And… he really doesn't look like me… he looks a lot like Isaac. It is Goldie's son.
I go get him and carry him out, walking back to the hospital department to talk about the mixup. They already signed the paperwork, so the baby is mine. As I'm standing there at the desk, I look down and guess who still has a huge baby-bump and is still pregnant…
I decide I'm just going to have to take Isaac back to Goldie. I'm driving through this really hilly, wooded area and catch up to Goldie and her mom, and then flip the car. And wake up.
Sorry for the bad ending. I thought the rest was funny though. The best part was when she walked up to me claiming that the baby was hers and how it looks like her, etc. and asks me, "Did you sleep with my man?!" It was kind of hilarious, more for the fact that she is very abrupt and straightforward like that.


So enjoy the dreams of pregnancy. No need to fear, especially about mix-ups. Hospitals are very good about keeping mommy and baby paired up correctly. Aldo will also be there for you. And you will LOVE your baby. No doubt about it though, it's a wild ride.