New Things

38 Weeks, 5 Days

I’m sure I’ve said this before and I’m sure you’re sick of me repeating myself... “Every pregnancy is different.” There’s a lot of new things that I’ve never dealt with in giving birth to Luke or Mila. For instance... contractions. I had them, but they were so mild that I didn’t know it. It was more Braxton-Hicks type stuff where you would have a sharp pain here or a crampy feeling there. I am definitely having contractions now. To where I actually have to keep time on them. I’ve never had to do that. FYI - I got a pretty good app on my phone that’s been helping keep track - simply hit the start as you feel a contraction coming on and stop when your stomach releases (“Full Term - Contraction Counter”). A few days ago my contractions were 9 minutes apart. Then nothing the next day. Then the next evening they were 7 minutes apart. We thought for sure we would be going to the hospital then. Our parents were on standby. And they really haven’t gone below 7 minutes consistently. I notice them more when I’m sitting on the couch with my legs up; not when I’m walking around or cleaning. They come on more in the morning or evening, and after I drink an ice-cold glass of water. (Speaking of... I hope chewing on ice doesn’t mess up your teeth because I’ve been doing it thise past three months.)
So, in case you’re debating whether it’s a real contraction or one of those blasted fake ones... (and sometimes it is really hard to know the difference...) here is the best explanation I could find:

1. Braxton-Hicks are irregular. The timing is all over the place whereas true contractions will get closer together at measured intervals and will increase in strength.
2. False labor contractions will go away if you switch up your position. In my case, I could feel them really strong when lying on the couch with my feet up, whereas the Braxton-Hicks I experienced went away when I got up and sat at the island, or went to lay in bed, etc. I definitely had real contractions though, and I know because in the middle of the night I would bear down in pain for a couple of hours keeping track of time on my app. I’d also wake Aldo up from groaning in my sleep. Nothing ever stuck until morning. 
3. False labor contractions are in different areas (a right side here, a pelvic pain there, Wiley in the back); real contractions harden your entire stomach. Sometimes they start out as back labor and wrap around to the front. (I can always tell when I'm having  a real one because Nayelli likes to kick, and all of a sudden her kicks disappear  because my entire stomach hardens instead of the place where just her foot is.)

What really sucks is that early labor can last for weeks. All the signs show up - contractions, back pain, cramping, pelvic “lightning” or dull pain, discharge or mucous plug (and we already established that doctors don’t care about these), diarrhea (thank goodness I’m not experiencing  it; quite the opposite actually), nesting, baby drops, etc. - but the only things that really matter are those real contractions and the timing of them, if your water breaks, and how far you’re dilated.

I’ve never had to deal with whether or not my water broke. I had to look that up. I’ve never had to deal with a mucous plug or bloody show. And I’ve never had to deal with acid reflux. The other night I literally threw up in my mouth. Probably due to the fact that I’m forced by the diabetes nutritionist to not skip or skimp on my before-bed snacks. Wouldn’t you like the taste of cottage cheese coming back up. Yuck. (And, I can’t remember what my snack was... so it wasn’t necessarily cottage cheese.) At the same time I had these pains on both of my sides. I’ll tell you what... I’ve never Googled so much during pregnancy. The symptoms led me to a list of things like ectopic pregnancy and placental abruption. Fortunately one of the major signs of these things are massive bleeding, and I wasn’t experiencing that at all. 

The last new thing that we are now scheduled for is a caesarean. We were supposed to get a call from the hospital on how to prepare, but haven’t gotten anything yet... so based on my internet searches, here is what you should know and my thoughts on it....

Before the surgery -
How do I prepare my body? The doc said to take a shower in the morning and evening the day before. Clean the area with anti-bacterial soap. There were a lot of comments online about how nurses appreciated when the patients had their nether regions trimmed before going in. I might try this later.
Are there any restrictions on what I can do before hand? You can still lift and walk, etc. BUT you have to stop eating and drinking by midnight. Can’t even pop in a mint. (In my case, this is because my c-section is scheduled for the morning. If it were in the afternoon, I think you start the fast 10 hours before???)
Any recommendations on what I should eat as my last meal? Anything that will help/not help? No findings. I assume it’s eat what you want. Because following the procedure, you’ll still be off food and then gradually be fed light items like jello and soup until you’re back on solids. I guess I’ll just avoid spicy food so I don’t “poof” on the operating table when everything is numb.
What happens for those two hours of prepping? A lot of questioning surrounding your medical history - anesthesia, pregnancy, prior surgeries, etc. They'll put in an IV for meds and a catheter for pee, monitor you and baby for a while, and let the epidurals set in. Then it's GO time!
Who can be in the room with me? When can photos/video be taken? Only one support person. Photos and video can be taken at any time by your support person. I asked this because Miss C wants to take pictures for us and put together a "birth story", but it looks like she won't be able to come in the operating room. (And she doesn't do blood either, so it's a good idea NOT to let her in.) It's limited to one person and no switching between people in the middle of surgery because they need it as sterile as possible. Aldo won't even be able to snip the umbilical cord. The soonest anyone else can come by is in the recovery room, and the baby will be in there with us.

During surgery -
How long is the surgery? It can range anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes.
Where will the baby be? She'll be going through her measurements and initial heel stick tests, etc. off to the side in the same room as long as everything is going according to plan. When everything checks out, the hospital will push for skin-to-skin.

After surgery -
How long will I be in the recovery room? Is the recovery room the final room we'll be in? Recovery takes about 2 hours. It's the time it takes for feeling to come back in your lower body and legs. And you may experience side effects like a headache, nausea or the shakes. When those wear off, everyone will be moved to a large, final room.
How long will I spend at the hospital? Usually 3 nights. If you go in on a Thursday, you'll be released on Sunday (probably in the afternoon as doctors make their rounds at that time).

At home -
How do I care for the incision? Regular, daily showers. When you wash, save the incision for very last. Refrain from using a scrubby or wash rag; just apply soap and rinse. Gently pat dry with towel. (FYI: You'll also experience the bleeding that comes with a vaginal delivery. So you'll be wearing the mesh undies and abnormally large pads too. Change those frequently. Watch for blood measuring golf ball size or larger. Watch the incision for bleeding, smells, etc. Your biggest threat would be an infection. Applying pressure to the incision does help - such as with a pillow or wearing a belly band - that way you can sit and stand, cough, and so on as your belly goes back to normal.)
What are my restrictions? And for how long? Some people are saying you can only carry the baby or car seat, not both at the same time, and some are saying baby in the car seat. Either way, nothing more than that. (*My doc said that I can carry no more than 20lb. so MY baby in the car seat that we have is just fine and long as I'm comfortable with it.) This will last for two weeks until the follow up appointment. No driving while on medication. You can drive again when you feel comfortable enough to hit the breaks in a quick reaction situation. Yes, you may go up and down stairs. Refrain from exercise... yotta, yotta... although I don't know anyone who would want to exercise as twisting and bending will be difficult. And with that statement, obviously, no hubby time - as with any pregnancy that's restricted for the next 6 weeks. Poor fellas.

Well... I think that's it. Since C-section is happening no matter what, I'll be kicking up my feet these next days. I figure if I "go" then we'll go. And if not, then everything will go as scheduled. I'll take the next days to rest and prep around the house in small batches. In the meantime, parents are still on standby. Mom asks me just about every day how my contractions are going. Honestly, I think it will work out better now just going in on Thursday because we have a plan for the kids, how to get them to school and home, Bandit won't be left alone for hours at a time, bills and trash will be taken care of, and hopefully the house won't be a complete disaster, and we won't forget any last minute things... and I'll be sterilized... less likely to get an infection.

Frustrating Guess Work

38 Weeks : RE-DO

I had to re-do this post because it was extremely negative, even for me... and I just couldn't sit right with that. I was frustrated from multiple things - a lot not going my way... but things we can't control either. So it's with a lighter heart, that I edited the post and got the facts out there from what was previously written.

So on Thursday when I went in for my 37 week (and 4 day...) ultrasound, I was very excited. I was excited to see her face and movement. And I was excited to hear how well we were doing... but I didn't get the news we were exactly hoping for... I found out that she is measuring 8lb 11oz. Equivalent to 3950 grams or the size of a baby who is 38 weeks and 6 days. She’s a big baby. If she gains two more ounces (or by 4000g) she’ll be considered having macrosomia. We’ll be put on the list for a c-section.
How fun is that? Pictures of the doc cutting me open... and baby having foot pricks and constantly being monitored. I had a very emotional day and kept crying in the shower. I thought for sure things would turn around. Well, then of course, Daniel Tiger’s song flipped on in my head (Mila’s been watching it every time I go in for an NST; the library and Hoopla are a real life-saver...) - “when something seems bad, turn it around, and find something good.” Okay, okay... a c-section isn’t the end of the world. It’s safer for a big-shouldered baby. I wouldn’t tear. Wouldn’t get any more hemorrhoids or pop one completely out. Wouldn’t poop on the doctor. People have done this before and survived. Aldo’s mom has done this three times! I’ll be just fine.
After that thought, I had another like God spoke to me and said “three days”. And you know what was in three days??? Sunday. Also, David’s birthday. I thought how perfect! I did a lot of stuff to help it along - Bounced on the exercise ball, did the nasty, went for a walk at the park (kind of, trying to walk and teach the dog how to “heel” wasn’t the best idea), walked through Target, cleaned the house A LOT (scrubbed the bathroom top to bottom), and THAT is when I finally was having consistent, strong contractions. The whole shebang. Stomach tightening, can’t walk much in the middle, radiating back pain. It was marvelous! I was so excited. I even felt a pop like the baby’s head was locking into place. Secretly I was hoping for my water to break in the middle of the night. And I prayed for it to be obvious, like a gush or wake up in a puddle. I would even take contractions that make me roll over in pain!!!

Lately I’ve been having a trickling after I pee. And this night was no different. I had to keep getting up, probably every hour to go to the restroom and then it would be followed by a trickle and later a contraction and then I would fall asleep again. In the morning I wondered if my water did break but the baby’s head (being locked into place) might be making it a trickle. It’s all up in the air! There’s no definite answer or sign to look for, except to have it tested when you go into the doctor.

1. Waters will trickle with movement from you or the baby or with contractions.
2. Should be odorless. 
3. Should be clear.
4. Could be hind-water leak and then get resealed.
5. Shouldn’t be able to stop it.

** NOTE: I was right. If you can stop it, then your water has not broken. It is also a very painful test to have it checked. The doctor doesn't use lube and sticks a rubber-band like thing inside you (and I think it reacts to chemicals and changes color). I was negative for leaking.

Number 5 is what really made me call it as a false alarm. So then, skip forward. I kind of felt again that the Lord had said something about 7 o’clock. So come 7:00 am I’m anticipating my water suddenly breaking. Nada. Contractions actually stopped at 7am. Skip forward at church. Everyone is asking me - Did you go to the hospital? We heard you went to the hospital. Isn’t your baby here yet? When are you due? (I only had one contraction during worship from swaying.) I had people come up afterward at the taco dinner and say - in the name of Jesus baby has to come today. It was crazy!
I had a lot of back pain on the car ride home and I was like, maybe if I clean again... but by the time we were home I was exhausted. I decided that if God wants this baby to come, she’ll come and nothing I will do or don't do will change a thing. Maybe my water will burst in the middle of my nap. Still no. Afterward, the kids were going at it, so I gave up and decided to go back to the ball. Mom called and asked about Game Night for David’s birthday. Since Aldo had a last-minute diaper party, I was up to going. Right after I got off the phone with her, I had to pee. And I felt something drop out of me into the toilet (like a small glop) and when I wiped there was a strip of white stuff on the toilet paper. Was this my mucus plug?!

1. Can be clear, white, green, yellow, pink or brown.
2. Doesn’t always come out at once.
3. Can be 4-5cm in length.
4. A sign that your cervix is “ripening”, typically between 37-42 weeks.
5. Could be weeks, days or hours until labor starts. More likely hours if this isn’t your first birth.

** NOTE: If you are dilated or "thin" at all, then you have probably lost your mucus plug. However, even though the books and internet make such a big deal about it, the doctors don't. (I've also looked at the pictures and it's more of a thin, sticky-looking snot... or imagine an egg white. Not cottage cheese white.) The two big things to watch out for are: CONTRACTIONS at 5-1-1 (5 minutes apart, each lasting 1 minute long, for 1 hour) and YOUR WATER BREAKING. The doc also later tested my cervix and it had "thinned" but was not down, and I wasn't dilated much, if at all.

So now Aldo, Mom and I are on high alert for contractions, etc. during Game Night. By 7pm nothing has happened. By 8pm nothing has happened. I go home and by the time my kids are out in bed, nothing has happened. It’s 11:15pm and nothing has happened. Clearly no baby tonight. I’m questioning whether or not I lost my mucus plug now. Am I just a gross person and that was discharge of some sort, because in pregnancy there’s all sorts of things no one talks about and you end up finding about it later when it happens to you. If it was a mucus plug, my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. The only thing I’ve felt strongly since are baby hiccups.

The biggest frustrations are hoping, waiting, and guessing. All I can recommend is to hold in there. Your little one will be in your arms shortly. It's okay to be frustrated, but don't get mad at yourself or others, and try not to take it out on the people you love. Continue to hope and pray. Even if things aren't turning out like you want them to.

I've Worn My Underwear Inside Out All Day & More Stories

Week 36, Day 4

I thought you might get a kick out of the title. It's totally true. We had an NST (non-stress test) done this morning, followed by a visit with Dr. Holmes (where I turned down the option to find out how far I'm dilated... it's not far and I know it because it hurt last week), and a Hospital Navigator appointment to go over the birth plan and see the birth rooms again. As well as, Mila had to see her pediatrician this morning too because she's got a cold and an earache... Poor baby. So we were running around, and this morning I guess I just didn't pay attention enough to get my underwear on right, but hey... I got them on.

Apparently during this time, mama is more forgetful and clumsy. I have to agree. Yesterday we went to David's military burial at the National Cemetery in Leavenworth (quick, yet beautiful service) and I couldn't remember if I brought my purse with my glucose finger stick in it. I didn't think I did so I used Pastor's. When we got back to the car, there it was. <shrugs> The day before I was running out the door for some reason and realized I couldn't find the car keys. So going back in, I found that I forgot the zip lock baggie of my dinnertime insulin routine on the couch (alcohol wipe, bottle of Humalog, shot, two Metformin pills). I grabbed them, ran upstairs, found the keys under all of the baby clothes Mila and I had gone through, and left the zip lock bag. <shrugs> There's no winning here. Your mind is gone, Erryn.

I didn't get any pictures because I wanted to be respectful and I left my phone in the car, but the burial was really nice. Two honor guards stood saluting at the podium while someone else played taps in the background. (I don't know if he was really playing or pushed a button, but I assume he pushed a button because the last note went on a long while and I don't think he had that much air. On the other hand, he acted it out really well... much better than Granddad...) Then the two honor guards undid the flag and refolded it properly. Did you know that each fold means something?? Then one knelt down in his uniform and presented it to Mom. "Ma'am, on behalf of the president of the United States... (etc. etc.) we present you with this... (might have said more)." I cried and couldn't hear anything else. It was so touching and such a huge honor. I think that was the part where you could really feel loss. Like he died in battle. Afterward, two other men came up and took the bagged "cremains", buried them afar, and then we were allowed to go down and see the grave sight. The stone isn't there yet. And shots were never fired either. I think that's only for high ranking officials or if you die in the line of duty. So when Mom dies, she'll be in the same place. On marker 316 (Mom was excited because John 3:16 was a favorite verse of theirs, I guess.)

Anyway, back to pregnancy. And other events.
I never shared my 30th birthday. I was all emotional during the week. One day I'd be excited. One day I wouldn't care. The next day would be depressing. I blame pregnancy hormones.
Forgive me if I repeat myself from prior posts...
On the 1st, we celebrated with Aldo's family. It was kind of a flop. The fam heavily relied on Aldo to be the host, even though it was their idea. He picked out the food and made sure I could eat it. He was in charge of the games and the music, etc. But, unfortunately he had to stay late at work dealing with "the dog exploding on the buyer and leather couch escapade" and then he had to get ice or pick up so and so... the party didn't get started til he got there. I was starving because I had to wait to see how many carbs everything was. While waiting, Vero asked me what I wanted to watch... chick flick!... and put on a horrible, raunchy, and seriously boring movie. Can't believe she even recommended it. On my birthday?? Later, I said I wanted to play the card game Marana, but Aldo's mom vetoed it because I shouldn't be playing a dangerous game in my condition (It's cards. Similar to Spoons. And I wouldn't have to worry anyway... we were playing with Lalo, who is always slow to put his hand down.) The 90s music wasn't what I grew up with. It was weird. And by the time it came time to do anything more, I was ready to go home and sleep. But the food was good! So I'll just say that.

Months before I said that I wanted to go canoeing for my birthday, and Aldo shot me down. By the time September came around, I was all for NOT going canoeing. So I came up with the idea to go to the beach at the lake with the kids, some friends, and our dogs. The lake that I used to go to Dad with won't allow dogs on the beach. Bummer. So instead we found a dog park that has a creek running through it. First we went out to eat at Grinders on the patio. We got so many cute puppy comments. And the kids loved hanging out on the hammocks while waiting for the food. Then we went to the park. It was a trek. It was hot. I could've died. But I didn't. The "path" down to the creek was more of a 75% incline mountain with some branches sticking out for stability. It took three people to get me down and back up again. But it was totally worth it. The dogs had so much fun. Bandit was born for the water! Ok, ok... so he fits in with our family. The kids had so much fun. Luke looked for shells. Mila walked around in the scum and every time she got knocked down, she had to get out, realize her feet or hands were dirty, get back in and wash them. I just enjoyed the water on my feet and the smiles. PERFECT BIRTHDAY. It was my dose of nature that I was wanting.

Mill Creek with All My Friends!

Boys Looking for Shells

Mila Gets Knocked Down & Dirty

Bandit Has a Blast!

(Is This My Birthday or His???)

The next day we were supposed to go to Ant-Man and The Wasp, but we got hung up at the car dealership... buying my birthday present... a 2012 (correction: 2013!) Chevy Traverse. My SUV with the bucket seats I had been researching. What's best is Aldo likes it too. Afterward, we went to Pizza Studio with my mom and... NEW!!! They have almost carb-less pizza! So I was able to enjoy that.

Skip forward. The following weekend, Aldo's mom really wanted to throw me a baby shower. I was under the impression that it would be family and small. It was all of her Zumba friends!! It was full-out, a Mexican baby fiesta! They spoke Spanish the entire time and played Spanish music. I caught a few words here and there... like juego - "play". I just hoped that they didn't make me do anything embarrassing. The games weren't bad at all. They passed around a rolling pin. They played charades. They dropped lemons in a cup. Guessed my belly size with toilet paper. Etc. And at the end, I gave myself a pat on the back for having such a good week of glucose numbers and ate two slices of cake. His mom really went all out and made me feel special.

So I think, now we're all caught up. Finally!
All of these latest posts I've had to stop midway and finish it later. I forget what I wanted to write or what mood I was in (Oh, I must've been venting on that one... but I come back in feeling on top of the world). It must look like I'm all over the place. So what I'll have to do in the future is Publish the post finished or not, and then create a new post the next time. Whew! This book is going to be so interesting...

HA! Speaking of... I just remembered the portion I was wanting to put in. It's the "I know for a fact this is Too Much Information, and too graphic, but it needs to be talked about" portion. So I warn you now!! My biggest fear this time around is hemorrhoids. I'm afraid the one I have is red and swollen and bigger than any of the others that the doctors have seen, and when I give birth it's going to poke out and explode. How's that for imagery? So when we went to the doctor, I asked about it. If there's anything I need to watch out for. And I explained that it doesn't hurt or itch, but I know it's there. The doc wasn't worried at all. She said it was a normal thing and almost everyone gets them. It'll go away after the baby is born and won't affect anything. That made me feel a lot better. Primarily, she won't be absolutely disgusted by it. I've already pooped on her. <sigh> I also have a fear that I didn't prep my nips this time around and that they're going to get chapped and hurt from breastfeeding. Or that there will be clumps because of closed up boobie ducts. My hair down there is unmanaged. But you know what... this is the third time around. I have someone taking pictures of the "birth story" for their portfolio/birthday/me! Any sense of modesty has kind of gone out the window. It kind of has to...

If I think of anything else, I'll try to bring it up right away. Here's to the coming weeks of prepping the bags, installing the car seat, nesting/cleaning the house, etc.

Slowing Down & Speeding Up - The Great Conundrum

Things have finally slowed down at our house.

Luke's foot is in the walking boot and healing. Hopefully he's not running on it at school. He's in a routine at home - wake up at 7:00-ish, bedtime at 9:30pm, when he gets home I sign his agenda, etc. Bandit LOVES him. Luke's been sleeping over at Grammy's the past couple of days and you could tell the dog missed his boy. Chewing on his boot, wagging his tail when Luke feeds him in the morning, and hopping over to him when they play. Luke has been doing chores lately, not for money... but for time on his Kindle. Luke has been getting distracted on the thing and with any kid it's easy to lose track of screen time... so now he does a chore to earn Kindle time in 30-minute increments. It's been working out rather well I think.

Mila is still in the "terrible" stage. It takes multiple times for her to go do what she was told to do (like get a diaper or pick up a toy or EAT HER FOOD!). Spankin's don't work and nap threats don't work. I realized that taking away the item or turning off the tv are what does it. She's on this Lilo & Stitch kick, and she got very emotional when I turned the tv off so she would eat her chicken. I told her yesterday to keep her markers for her brand new purse on the table. When I found them on the couch - without the lids on!!! - I FLIPPED OUT. They were immediately taken away.
I feel like such a bad mom sometimes... but I remember going through this stage with Luke and we said nip it in the bud while he's young. So second child... sorry, but we were lenient for a little too long. It's going to be a hard month for you.
At the same time, Mila is just adorable as ever. She says the cutest things, and of course, right now I can't think of anything. Or the way she says them too. Like, Luke will always be "Lukey" to her. :D And Bandit sounds like "band-aid" but right at the last split second she'll add in the T sound.

We went to the doctor not long ago for Aldo and she kept mentioning Luke. The nurse asked her who Luke was and this is how the rest of the conversation went:
Mila: He's a power ranger.
Nurse: That's cool. What color is he?
Mila: <snickers> Pink.
After a while, she changed her mind because she wanted to be pink. Luke could be blue. Daddy red. Mommy gets to be the made-up orange power ranger...

Bandit, we found out, likes the rain. (It's probably because he's dehydrated most of the time... because when I do give him water, he spills it and lays in it.) He also likes swimming. More about that later. He now sits when he wants to come in. And sits when he wants to go out, longingly looking out the sliding glass door. If you take too long, though, he'll tell you or paw at the door. One of the greatest commands he's learned so far is "Time Out". It's the same as "kennel" but he knows he's in trouble. Yesterday was the first time he ate off a plate. I was giving myself a shot of insulin before dinner (which takes like 20 seconds) and he licked my potato salad. Mila saw the whole thing and yelled at him. You better believe he knew he was going straight to time out when I walked in the room.

Aldo and I are doing great (I think?). He's back to his regular schedule at work. With the weather changing though - with that autumn, dreary rain feel - I think it's making his feet swell worse.

I’m doing ok now since the last emotional post. I’m in a very strict routine, but I’m managing. I’m just ready for October. Not so much with baby stuff... We don’t have a car seat yet! Or a diaper bag. Things are finally slowing down with taking different people to doctor appointments. And yet, things are speeding up because WE'RE GETTING READY TO HAVE THIS BABY!!!

Hurricane Season

34 Weeks

I originally named this post “Hurricane Season” because of the phrase... “When it rains, it pours...” and I felt like the phrase just didn’t cover half of what we’ve gone through lately; it’s more like a hurricane for us. Ironically, according to the National Hurricane Center, hurricane season this year (in the Atlantic) runs from June 1st - November 30th. Let’s pray that that’s not how it’s going to be from here on out. Let the storm stop in September!! I was thinking about it the other day and before I was asking, “God, what is going on???” It finally occurred to me that He knows exactly what's going on and maybe he’s got a plan and that all of this is a set up. I can’t come to any other conclusion.

So in case you missed it here’s a quick look at the past three months...

• June 5: Luke breaks feet (leads to re-breaking foot on July 31st)
• July 5: I don’t pass my first glucola test (leads to a 3 hour test, finding out I have gestational diabetes, pricking finger and keeping track of blood sugar readings 4x a day, starting diet of low carbs and high protein which in turn leads to constipation {wha.. wha...}, have to start Metformin which causes nausea, and as of late started insulin... to be continued I guess...)
• July 20: We bring home Bandit - a very overwhelmed feeling of Is this really the right time?
• July 26-29: Aldo goes to conference to learn about selling life insurance - another overwhelming feeling considering I won’t be working myself and he wants to change jobs
• August 11: Aldo is rear-ended (leads to Blazer being totaled and multiple doctor and chiropractic appointments, and now shopping for a new vehicle)
• August 21: David passed away (funeral yesterday and keeping mom company and out of depression)

I don’t think anyone else could handle it. Did I mention my birthday is coming up? I’m turning 30. I think I could use some good news now. And we haven’t celebrated our anniversary yet. :( That was a month ago. And we have the gift cards too, just sitting in my purse. Ugh... #whenlifehappens

- - - - - -

Well, I was sad the other day thinking on the book I had for my pregnancy with Luke up to his first birthday. And then Mila’s book (which hasn’t been printed yet. And now this one. I’m sorry if any of my kids ever feel left out or like you got the short stick. I love you all so so so much and I just wanted the experiences written out and perfect. None of them are the same. I learn as I go... just like regular people.
For example, I had no idea what to expect with Luke. I had so many newbie mom questions. I went to the classes for birthing and bringing a baby home. I learned a lot. With Mila, I had the experience of breastfeeding and baby blues, and maybe exhaustion... because it’s easy when you can put all your concentration and energy in pregnancy and raising a newborn as a new mom whereas when you already have one child, attention goes there as well. You feel like you missed some of the big milestones of pregnancy with the second. But you definitely try. And the third, I feel so bad I haven’t kept track of ANY milestones. It’s been more of keeping track of what symptoms are hitting me this week...? What's up with this bruising? It's vericose veins that won’t go away. Am I going to die in the middle of the night from a blood clot in my leg? No, it's just regular ol' leg cramps. Flex your foot and point or get up and walk; it will go away. Am I having Braxton Hicks? Is it too early? Braxton Hicks are with portions of your belly getting hard and sometimes associated cramping or pain. Sometimes you feel them, sometimes you don't. What's "full term"? 39 Weeks. Do I have to count the baby's kicks/movements? Not with how active she is. And remember, toward the end of pregnancy there is less room in there, so movement might appear to slow down. (I apologize for being graphic ahead of time.) Is discharge normal? Yes, depending on color. Hemorrhoids??? Yes. Sorry you're strained. When does the “bloody show” actually show? Closer to delivery... like days before. So BE READY!!
Funny how you have new questions with each subsequent pregnancy. AND I completely forgot how to take care of a newborn. AND... now we have a dog (more precisely “an energetic puppy”) that steals blankets, toys, and even food off your plate, which I’ll be bringing my newborn home to. Whew. It’s a lot to think about.