What a beautiful Christmas. Probably one of my top favorites in recent years.
I think a lot of the time we remember what it was like during our childhood and wish for our Christmas futures to turn out somewhat the same. We want our kids to have the same memories that filled us with so much joy and family tradition.
At my Grammy and Grandad's house we always ate some meal together (except my little family of Mom, me and Maecy was always late), took pictures on the stairs with all the generations - after having to explain to the elders how to operate the camera or figure out the timer, opened presents in the living room (kids on the hideously green shag carpet), and the rest of the day playing card games at the dining room table or play with our new toys and gadgets. As a young kid all I ever wanted to do was sit at the adult table to eat and hear the big, adult conversations and play "Up and Down the River".
Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's was probably more like how other cultures imagine an American Christmas. We would sit down at the long table and pass around the meal, scooping our portions onto our plate. The children only talked when the adults asked questions. Afterward we would go in the living room and open presents all at once. The room was filled with Christmas decorations, but the best of all was the Christmas tree. It's the most breakable and most beautiful Christmas tree I've ever seen in my life. All white ornaments and lights. No games or anything, but there was a table covered in every delicious desert in the dining room. Sometimes prior Christmas we would spend an entire day making povatisa bread at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Another favorite thing - and you can count on it being the best since my family spent years improving the recipe and found the best way to get it done. Kind of like Aldo's family knows how to make tamales the best way. And last, in your stocking, you would always find an ornament, hand-picked by Grandma, especially for you. Mine was a Precious Moments ornament. Always.
From what I've heard, Aldo's Christmas with his family has always been a bit different. Different culture, different traditions. Aldo's mom would make a red soup with cow's stomach called pasole. (Sorry, I can't tell you if that's the correct spelling.) They would spend all day Christmas Eve playing games and singing karaoke, maybe even dancing, waiting to open gifts at midnight. And they open gifts one at a time.
In past years we've figured out our schedule as a young couple... Christmas Eve at his family's, Christmas at mine, and New Year's at Aunt Dolores' because my Grandma and Grandpa don't always have Christmas at their house any more. With a child and making side dishes or even the main dish, it's difficult to go to every Christmas celebration. Rather than spending a few quick hours everywhere and feeling rushed and overwhelmed, we would rather spend a good long time hanging out, making memories and unfortuneatley missing out on another. This year we had a new baby though. Two kids. Our little family is growing. It's about time we came up with our own Christmas traditions for our kids. I looked some up and a lot of them we already do. Christmas meals. Open a gift at midnight. Pictures by the Christmas tree. But none of them stand out for us. There were some things I liked but they're not Christmas morning per se: see Christmas lights, watch Christmas movies, gingerbread houses (we do this already), first present of new pajamas (we have a friend that does this and I'm not a copycat), adopt a family, go to Christmas morning church service (already do), etc. So what should our family do???
WE NOW HOLD A CHRISTMAS PRESENT TREASURE HUNT. Rather than waking up and tearing the wrapping off of all our gifts and then feeling remorseful all day, we've figured out a way to draw out the excitement a little bit.
I'll tell it from the beginning. This year Aldo was off three days in a row. I've learned that it's easier to start Christmas shopping in September and buy online and have things shipped straight to my door than going out, traveling all over the city looking for that one thing... So I definitely did that again this year. Had everything under the tree and wrapped (except the couple from Santa) by the weekend. Wednesday could have been a stay-at-home and bum day, but we hadn't spent any time with our friends. I think they were feeling neglected, so we went to the movies Wednesday morning. Mila's first movie theater showing was "Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens". A big deal this year. It was kind of perfect because our son's name is Luke and I always kidded that we should name our daughter Leia. But we're not big, big fans so that would have been silly. Mila slept for a good portion. And then watched intensely the second portion. Never thought this day would come, but I breastfed in public. In a public place. Not in a car. Or in a back room. However, it was dark and loud. Nobody could really be interrupted by her and I wouldn't get rude glares. It wasn't until the last 30 minutes (we were there over two hours) that Aldo and I had to stand up with her and walk around near the exit to keep her from crying, where she fell asleep again. Afterward, we went back to their house and played "Up and Down the River". Yes, my craving for the game of the old days had been satisfied. And I won! (I kept score. I forever hold to the theory that "scorekeeper always wins".) We didn't intend on it, but we stayed until dark.
Thursday was Christmas Eve. Since Lily missed out on Thanksgiving this year, no pasole, but turkey again for the celebration. I can't recall what we did all morning, but before we left in the afternoon Aldo made potatoes and we headed over at 2:30 pm to play games until midnight. Everyone must have been a little "off". We found out that Alex already received the gift we got him, so we stopped at Walmart just in time before closing. Lily had to work extra hours. Veronica had to last minute take her kids to another Christmas. Aldo had to pick up his dad and then get turkey gravy from somewhere that was still open. Mitzy just decided they weren't coming until later I guess. Like usual, dinner wasn't until later. But much later. I don't think we ate until 10 o'clock hit. Cold food, but still not bad. We bought the game "Pit" for the Alvidrez/Hernandez house. They're a people that like their fast-paced, loud, schemish games... So it was a perfect choice. We didn't play until 10:30ish. And I could've been disappointed in their lack of involvement, and lack of loudness, but I wasn't - everyone was just tired. Instead of midnight, we opened gifts at 11:00. One at a time. So a lot of tradition was set aside.......... And I kind of missed it. But........ I decided days before - sometimes I get aggravated at the lack of games at my mom's Christmas, the lack of planning at Aldo's family's Christmas, and I hate to admit this, but the same present I got the year before (lotion or something). I decided I wasn't going to be a Scrooge. I wasn't going to be disappointed. I wasn't going to be depressed. I was going to embrace Christmas. Because days before I was reminded that America is the richest nation. And that when you compare the $11/hour our lower class makes to the $3/day some people in Mexico make to the other nations that don't have clean water or a carpeted floor or a cushioned bed, we are a rich country. I decided there is more to life than not getting to play the game you want and instead listening to the most boring conversation of rental houses and the improvements they need. There is more than not starting the day at the exact time you want. There is more than a $20 gift card you want. I would be happy and embrace the Christmas and the people I get to spend it with. Now, looking back, much of the Christmas Eve was spent looking at family albums. Reminiscing. Awwww...
Christmas morning Aldo went to church service and let the rest of us sleep in. Thanks, babe! Our plan was to have a relaxing morning alone with our own family, but instead, when he got back, we went over to Granddad's for a breakfast that Granddad decided to have last minute. We got home and did our "Christmas present treasure hunt".... Our new family tradition!, helped mom clean the upstairs, made our side of salad, and waited. Waited. Waited. For the rest of the family to arrive to open presents under the tree.
Family traditions.
I can't say it enough. You expect certain things. And when something doesn't meet that expectation it could throw off your whole day. I think that's the theme of my Christmas this year: letting go of my Christmas expectations. And I'll tell you, it could have been a disaster. Awkwardly, we were opening Christmas gifts for ourselves as strangers and family who didn't have gifts were arriving and watching. How do you make it look like it's not about the gifts, when it truly is not about the gifts to you, but it seems that it is about the gifts because people are there while you alone are opening gifts? And you just look like spoiled brats? And you're also trying to go quickly, only to get it over with so it isn't awkward anymore. But instead it looks like you're looking for that one gift you want and are unhappy with anything prior, and a selfish, greedy person because you aren't thanking anyone. !!! It was so difficult for me. I do not know who gave Luke some of his gifts because he went through them so fast, because I was trying to go through mine, and get Mila to stop crying. Another thought: You just can't please everybody. No matter hard you try (I am talking in any situation; not just the holidays) there will always be that one person that judges you. That looks at you and makes you feel like crud. But they are only looking at what they see. And they don't know you're heart, and they don't know the back story. They may call you "spoiled" and "wanting all the attention", but that is just simply not true. So don't become offended when you're called names, because they don't know what you've experienced in the past, even the past five minutes. They're sticking their foot in their mouths. But the next lesson is this: Don't become them. Don't judge others. Be kind. You don't know their story and what they're currently going through. And as I write this - isn't that the plot of Christmas with the Kranks?
We finally got into the other room to eat our Christmas meal. Turkey again. I sat at the kids table with Luke, Jenna and Aldo. The food wasn't half bad, even Granddad's runny green bean casserole (because he didn't drain the beans). After, I taught Maecy, Juan and Jenna how to play "Up and Down the River". Aldo played chess with Jerad. The old people played dominoes. Then, all the people played "Up and Down the River". (Granddad won. The scorekeeper.) Then everyone left and Jerad arrived back. So we played Split. Then a fishing dice game.
I guess when you let go of expectations... When you don't have any expectations, all expectations are met. You embrace Christmas. And a little "Up and Down the River" helps too.
