Popcorn, Bubblegum, Oh-Me-Oh-My

As you know, the school year has looked drastically different than a year ago. I was expecting hiccups here and there, especially difficulty going through Zoom and staying ahead of Luke's studies at home. However, I was NOT expecting having issues with the way they were teaching Mila! Here's how it all went down...

On Wednesdays, Mila is at home. She has two, 45-minute Zoom meetings with her classmates and teacher. I've learned that if I do it on the computer, she can't see her classmates, but it's hands-free and I can keep her in one place at the dining room table. If I do it on the iPad, we can sit anywhere and she can see her classmates at different segments throughout the meeting. I've learned that I can let her sleep in a little bit on Wednesdays, and she's not in a rush to eat breakfast, therefore, she can go to the first meeting, eat, and then go to the second. I've learned that it's difficult for her to complete more than one assignment in between the two Zoom meetings. Sometimes we will do one assignment, sometimes we will hold off until after lunch to begin working on anything. In fact, she is assigned 8 things to do a day, a lot of which are repetitive and have videos or games that go along with them. We can't do all 8 in one day. The teacher doesn't assign them until Wednesday morning (it would much easier if I knew ahead of time what they were so I could get a leg up on the videos at least), and they are due on Sunday by 5pm.

The first Zoom meeting starts with a song (completely dumb, much like the "I Love You" song of Barney... I don't know what kid would like it), and then a self-soothing, breathing technique (either S.T.A.R., which I don't know what it stands for, a drain or a balloon). Don't ask me why they do the technique when they haven't even started the class. What do they have to take a breath for when they haven't even done the work to get to the place where they need to take a moment? So, the first half of the first Zoom meeting is wasted on that. They barely cover the days of the week and the weather. Then, they move on to the English portion. Sometimes they end the meeting with a story.

The second Zoom meeting deals with math. I find that it's more productive than the first meeting. A lot of the kids though, in my opinion, should already know the concepts... but we're only at the beginning of the year.

Now, I've had my complaints here and there - 1. Don't waste my time and my kids' time on sing-a-long songs and techniques that aren't doing diddly. I'd rather the time be shortened or teach them what they need to learn. 2. Two Zoom meetings is almost too much. 3. Eight assignments is too much. These are Kindergarteners! (They do best by learning through living it.) But, if you're going to give assignments, let the parents have a choice out of the eight... it's just a thought. We're fairly committed; I think you can trust us to pick a variety of assignments and not just the "easiest" two every week. BUT, none of these complaints have made me feel like I need to pull all of my kids out of school IMMEDIATELY.

Last Wednesday started like a typical Wednesday. We had our first Zoom meeting. Mila wanted to be a drain because it's fun to rain down water. The teacher showed the kids a sight word that they didn't get to: SEE. And then, she had them go through an activity where the kids were supposed to watch for their name on the screen, and when they saw it read the sentence, which goes like this: "I am Mila. I see a turtle," and so on. (A great activity, although it took up a lot of time because the kids weren't really watching for their names, so the teacher could've just called on each one. And somebody had their sound on the whole time or were goofing off, so we couldn't hear as well. ~Another issue that gets in the way of being online.) Last, she ended with a book about a STAR that had a hard day and went to the other room and took a breath, like a star does, and felt better. So really, the whole session could've been narrowed down to 15 minutes.

I let Mila have her breakfast and then it was time for the second Zoom meeting. They had an activity on greater than or less than where she went through each student in pairs and they had to say if they had more or less, or equal to, their partner. Except that, the directions weren't very clear to parents so almost all of the students had exactly 10 items. Whoops. But, overall, not a bad session.

Then, came the hard part. I said, "Mila, let's do one activity and then you can go play. This one looks easy!" I picked out the one on the word, SEE, because it involved a simple tracing of the word, coloring in bubble letters of the word in rainbow (which Mila would LOVE), finding the word among other words (and Mila is very good at I-Spy), and last cutting and glueing the word together with the correct letters in the correct order. I didn't know it involved a long video. We did the assignment and then watched the video.

The video covered every sight word known to man I think. But we don't call them sight words. We call them "popcorn words" because they should "pop out at you on the page". And when we say each letter we should have proper mouth placement, and say it with the right loudness or softness. For example, V is loud and F is soft. And when we see a word our first strategy is to find the vowel (A, E, I, O, U) no matter where it is in the word. If it's alone, then it says it's name. But if not, you see what's next to it and if it has partner vowels like in the word BAKE or SEE. Oh, that's not all covered in this ONE video - there are pairs that go together like TH and SH. And she went on through every single strategy until I think we covered everything in the English language (which statistics show is the hardest to learn). I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. They were talking to 5-year-olds!!! I get worked up just recounting the moment... Then, she went on to say that as they're sounding the words out, there shouldn't be any pauses between letter sounds, but keep making the sound and pull it out of your mouth like bubblegum. And there were abbreviations and rhymes for everything.

What are my issues? 

1. They went through EVERY STRATEGY in one session. This should be a progression. Start off with the easiest strategy and work your way to the hardest. I felt like I was bombarded, and when I looked over at Mila, her eyes were wondering around everywhere except for at the computer screen. She became detached. It was too much! 

2. Don't require your kids to call it "popcorn words" vs. "sight words". Who cares? But more importantly, parents will know what a "sight word" is and have no idea what a "popcorn word" is. A little kid isn't going to know what the word "strategy" means either. Just saying.

3. This continues on with "bubble-gumming" a word. I get that you're trying to paint a mental picture to stretch out the word, and you can do that... but, we need time to think. A gap in the word is OK. It's not going to end the world if a child has a gap in their word as they're sounding it out. 

4. I can yell at you and the F will be loud. Mouth placement is just about moot. It works for showing the difference between M and N, where the tongue is, and if the mouth is open or closed, but not every letter needs that pointed out. 

5. Your rhymes are annoying. Limit it.

6. FINALLY, AND MOST IMPORTANT, Mila was prepared and completely ready to read before this. I set her up for success. At age 4, she knew the sounds of all of the letters. She knew that the A had multiple sounds, and the E could have different sounds, etc. She was ready to put the sounds together just by sounding it out. EVERYTHING that the teachers have taught her has set her back by ten steps. She is now QUESTIONING her reading and telling me that it's difficult to find items throughout the house that start with certain sounds, when she was doing this at home last year. She was working on ending sounds last year. And middle sounds. She's questioning herself! 

I am so livid, and hurt. I feel like we made the wrong choice. My baby was ready to read, and they did her a disservice and they're doing all of the kids a disservice. I was ready to pull her completely out of school and strictly homeschool. I was going to spend the $800 (hopefully I could find a deal somewhere) on an out-dated Biblical curriculum and teach Mila at home. Then, I thought it through a little bit. That would be difficult with Luke's requirements. I'll pull them ALL out. And just do my own thing. At our own pace. It is what it is. They'll know what they need to know. And learn about real world problems. The other option was pull her out and put her in virtual school, and anything that doesn't make sense skip entirely, except that it might interfere with Luke's virtual school (he would have to take on more responsibility; and Nayelli would interrupt. From the very beginning I've felt lied to about how the entire school scenario would go, and now it's to these horrid teaching practices.

So, I called up my dad. I said, "Dad, I need to vent. And then I need you to be that person that won't tell me what I want to hear, but what I need to hear. Can you be that person?" The conversation was a long one, but a good one. The culprit: Common Core. I was reminded that we had this conversation when Luke was learning a different kind of math a few grades ago. They had him add in a really weird way, splitting up ones with ones and tens with tens. If you think back to the good years of the 1990's, they taught a little thing called "carry the 1," which they don't do any more. It's more about mental math. While this might work for some people, it's not going to work for everyone. It's adding more steps and making a problem MORE complicated. That's what they're doing with English. For Kindergarten. They've broken everything up. And it's because of Common Core. Every child needs to know certain things, but what they need to understand is that every child is unique and learns in their own way. Rather than teaching multiple to techniques to everybody, they could narrow it down, and if there are kids that need more attention, whether slower at processing or ahead, give it to them. Let's get more specialized services! 

Who in their right mind would stand behind Common Core?

And while I'm on this rant, Luke's Reading assignments are POO. There is no order, rhyme or reason to them at all - not even Common Core. I'm doing that myself! 

And after talking with Luke, Dad and Aldo, I've settled on the fact that come second semester, I'll send Luke back to school so he can learn "how all the other kids are learning" and do the stupid Common Core assignments the right way, because he knows my way and picks up on those things easily. We've had discussions of History and I know what books he likes. He'll probably be repeating a lot because we're actually ahead. And while he's in school, I'll be able to spend the quality time with Elli that I've been wanting, take ahold on the house again, and be prepared to teach Mila (or re-teach) if I have to, and especially work with her on Wednesdays.

If this doesn't work, though, Aldo will have to consider pulling them all out and never going to public school again. :-P

SIDE NOTE: With elections fast approaching, this just makes me more involved in the voting process and knowing who the candidates are. I'm not talking presidential. Those guys are covered. It's blatant what their beliefs are and it's covered in the news and on social media all the time. I'm talking LOCAL. I'm talking school boards, county representatives, governors. I knew that local government was important, but even more since Covid. How our STATE has reacted to orders and suggestions, and even more so when the states and counties are GIVEN the final decision in areas. Man, it really makes a difference. I don't want our state or our school district to be a follower, but a leader. 

Because COVID

If you were awake and breathing in 2020 (oh the irony of those words), then you already know what the title of this post alludes to. If you were asleep, then I’ll fill you in... 

In early March, the government (at the recommendation of the health organizations) decided to put out a stay-at-home order to stop the spread of coronavirus, or more specifically "to flatten the curve". It was an effort to keep hospitals from being bombarded since coronavirus is highly contagious. You couldn't go anywhere unless absolutely necessary. Travel shut down. Kids were sent home from school. Restaurants closed. Major sports suspended their seasons. (You could rewatch the Chiefs winning the Superbowl on tv.) "Essential" workers were basically doctors, grocery store workers, and truck drivers. I remember that it hit China and Europe first and people all over sent out these videos saying that we (Americans) needed to take it seriously. People ran to the store and stocked up on all kinds of stuff. There was a time when almost all of the aisles at the store were bare - all you could find was chili beans and tofu. Toilet paper and disinfecting wipes were off of the shelves for weeks. During this time more information about the virus came out - it was from Wuhan, China  from eating bat soup? Rumors were constantly spreading that it was a bioweapon, that it was coverup for human trafficking, and that it was just another strain of coronavirus. In the meantime, my family just tried to get through the days at home. Luke had to complete 4th grade through Zoom and Google Classroom. Aldo was working from home and took a pay cut. There was huge controversy about churches being open/closed - whether it was a violation of religious laws and whether government had that power. The saddest part through all of this, I think, is that those in nursing homes haven't been able to leave their rooms much or have visitors because the elderly were most at risk.

We sent Granddad some encouraging pictures during our at home "Spirit Week"

Then, in June, George Floyd was brutally killed by police officers. This started all kinds of crazy - Black Lives Matter protests hijacked by Antifa rioting, looting, and open conversations on racial injustice - statues and monuments of historical figures (most likely those with a past as slave holders) were being vandalized and torn down - police shows were cancelled on tv (even Paw Patrol!, no joke) - activists were "woke" and if you didn't actively participate then you're a "racist". So then the health gurus said that it was ok to be out if you were protesting, but if not then stay home because of coronavirus. Like you were protected from it in a huge mob! There was more and more evidence of a wide difference in opinion between Democrats and Republicans that it seemed like everything became political. The news seemed ludicrous because everything had an agenda - spread fear of coronavirus, warp numbers of death rate, promote Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders.... President Trump isn't wearing his mask today! People started looking down the rabbit hole, including myself, into QAnon, human trafficking and cabal after the Epstein case. It made me realize just how much Hollywood, Netflix, and even the news promotes ideas, sometimes without us even realizing it.

 

Lots of biking and fishing

We planted a vegetable garden! 

(Lots of success with zucchini, cucumbers, tomatoes, and jalapenos)

Pinning bugs for 4H Beginner Entomology

In July, a mask mandate went out that you have to wear a mask in public places, and thankfully there was a slow opening of businesses. As you would suspect, there's been controversy over wearing masks. Are they really keeping us safe or creating more health issues? What about those with health issues (like asthma or if they're hearing impaired)? What if you're carrying a concealed weapon? Will a plastic face shield work instead? Keep 6 feet away and wear a mask. Wash your hands. Wipe the shopping cart handles with disinfectant. Limit how many can sit in a restaurant together. The executive order was put out until rescinded, and I would like to say that it's been rescinded, but it hasn't. School was pushed back by three weeks of the start date so that they could put proper protocols in place to follow the orders.

Here we are. If you experience any of the symptoms, in any amount of severity, including none at all, and in any order, please get a nose swab to the brain and quarantine yourself for 14 days because you may have the markers for covid and be contagious without even knowing it:

• trouble breathing
• cough/ sore throat
  
• chest pain
• confusion
• trouble staying awake
• fever/chills
• fatigue
• body aches
• headache
• loss of taste
• loss of smell
• diarrhea

All of these, as you can see, can resemble just about all other common sicknesses... cold, flu, and allergy, AND panic attack symptoms and anxiety!

This year has been so strange. I didn't even mention the Saharan dust storms, Australian bush fires, back-to-back hurricanes in Texas/Louisiana, murder hornets, and genetically modified Florida mosquitoes. I'm sure people are suspicious that this might be it - the time before the end - the Tribulation or start of it. The majority of us (believers that I know) are just ready for 2020 to end. It feels like this has gone on for 36+ months, when we've barely entered 9.

 

Mila's Tangled Birthday Party

 

& First HAIRCUT!!!

She donated 10 inches to kids with hair loss.

Today, I took Mila to her first day of Kindergarten. We waited in the car line for over 20 minutes as each child had their temperature checked before leaving his or her vehicle and entering the school. They had to walk 6ft apart with masks on (not shields) down the sidewalk. I couldn't take her to class. I couldn't take her picture outside by the school sign, like every other child's right of passage picture prior to this year. I watched as she said she knew exactly where to go with hesitation in her small voice and then followed it with dramatic limping down the the school's entry way because her "foot fell asleep". We had the choice to send her to school full-time, remotely with daily check-ins, or virtually. We chose full-time because it was really only two days a week and remote the rest of the week due to Covid (which would include mask breaks throughout the day). Within weeks of school, that changed to four days of the week and one day remote (even though older kids go to school less??). (This must be a funding thing, and who's at least amount of risk.) Within days, I found out that there would be no mask breaks at all. 

The Night before Kindergarten

First Day of Kindergarten

This is not fair. Stressful. Insane. Emotional. Heart-wrenching. Sucky. Because COVID.

1. I couldn't go to church - because COVID.
2. I couldn't visit Granddad at home - because COVID. 
3. I couldn't go on our trip to Germany - because COVID.
4. I couldn't celebrate Aldo or Luke's birthday big - because COVID.
5. I couldn't take the kids to the zoo - because COVID.
6. I couldn't sign the kids up for sports - because COVID.
7. I couldn't play on the park equipment - because COVID. 
8. I couldn't help with Camp - because COVID.
   
9. I couldn't find the toilet paper, disinfectant wipes, baby wipes, and bleach spray - because COVID.
10. I couldn't do grocery pick-up - because COVID.
    
11. I couldn't buy a cheap pool, splash pad, or sprinkler - because COVID.
    
12. I couldn't give my honest opinion without questioning if I'd be labeled as racist or automatically assigned a political affiliation - because COVID.
13. I couldn't enjoy my regular programming of shows - because COVID.
14. I couldn't participate in fair activities with my kids like normal - because COVID.
    
15. I couldn't send my kids to school like normal - because COVID.
    
16. I couldn't breathe - because COVID.

In part, it hasn't been all negatives. The Gutz, Herricks, and us have been meeting for Bible Study on Sunday evenings and Wednesday morning Zoom devotionals. We've grown closer together in that. I spent more time/am spending more time with my kids. I got my CCL and found out that I'm a sharp shooter. :) I learned how to grow and keep a vegetable garden and enjoyed the products of it. I didn't gain any weight, but I didn't lose any either - we went on more bike rides and took more walks. We stayed strong as a family. <3

Sharp Shooter 😜

You can't see them, but all the bullet holes are in the center or cheek or eye. Score: 25/25

Frustrating Guess Work

38 Weeks : RE-DO

I had to re-do this post because it was extremely negative, even for me... and I just couldn't sit right with that. I was frustrated from multiple things - a lot not going my way... but things we can't control either. So it's with a lighter heart, that I edited the post and got the facts out there from what was previously written.

So on Thursday when I went in for my 37 week (and 4 day...) ultrasound, I was very excited. I was excited to see her face and movement. And I was excited to hear how well we were doing... but I didn't get the news we were exactly hoping for... I found out that she is measuring 8lb 11oz. Equivalent to 3950 grams or the size of a baby who is 38 weeks and 6 days. She’s a big baby. If she gains two more ounces (or by 4000g) she’ll be considered having macrosomia. We’ll be put on the list for a c-section.
How fun is that? Pictures of the doc cutting me open... and baby having foot pricks and constantly being monitored. I had a very emotional day and kept crying in the shower. I thought for sure things would turn around. Well, then of course, Daniel Tiger’s song flipped on in my head (Mila’s been watching it every time I go in for an NST; the library and Hoopla are a real life-saver...) - “when something seems bad, turn it around, and find something good.” Okay, okay... a c-section isn’t the end of the world. It’s safer for a big-shouldered baby. I wouldn’t tear. Wouldn’t get any more hemorrhoids or pop one completely out. Wouldn’t poop on the doctor. People have done this before and survived. Aldo’s mom has done this three times! I’ll be just fine.
After that thought, I had another like God spoke to me and said “three days”. And you know what was in three days??? Sunday. Also, David’s birthday. I thought how perfect! I did a lot of stuff to help it along - Bounced on the exercise ball, did the nasty, went for a walk at the park (kind of, trying to walk and teach the dog how to “heel” wasn’t the best idea), walked through Target, cleaned the house A LOT (scrubbed the bathroom top to bottom), and THAT is when I finally was having consistent, strong contractions. The whole shebang. Stomach tightening, can’t walk much in the middle, radiating back pain. It was marvelous! I was so excited. I even felt a pop like the baby’s head was locking into place. Secretly I was hoping for my water to break in the middle of the night. And I prayed for it to be obvious, like a gush or wake up in a puddle. I would even take contractions that make me roll over in pain!!!

Lately I’ve been having a trickling after I pee. And this night was no different. I had to keep getting up, probably every hour to go to the restroom and then it would be followed by a trickle and later a contraction and then I would fall asleep again. In the morning I wondered if my water did break but the baby’s head (being locked into place) might be making it a trickle. It’s all up in the air! There’s no definite answer or sign to look for, except to have it tested when you go into the doctor.

1. Waters will trickle with movement from you or the baby or with contractions.
2. Should be odorless. 
3. Should be clear.
4. Could be hind-water leak and then get resealed.
5. Shouldn’t be able to stop it.

** NOTE: I was right. If you can stop it, then your water has not broken. It is also a very painful test to have it checked. The doctor doesn't use lube and sticks a rubber-band like thing inside you (and I think it reacts to chemicals and changes color). I was negative for leaking.

Number 5 is what really made me call it as a false alarm. So then, skip forward. I kind of felt again that the Lord had said something about 7 o’clock. So come 7:00 am I’m anticipating my water suddenly breaking. Nada. Contractions actually stopped at 7am. Skip forward at church. Everyone is asking me - Did you go to the hospital? We heard you went to the hospital. Isn’t your baby here yet? When are you due? (I only had one contraction during worship from swaying.) I had people come up afterward at the taco dinner and say - in the name of Jesus baby has to come today. It was crazy!
I had a lot of back pain on the car ride home and I was like, maybe if I clean again... but by the time we were home I was exhausted. I decided that if God wants this baby to come, she’ll come and nothing I will do or don't do will change a thing. Maybe my water will burst in the middle of my nap. Still no. Afterward, the kids were going at it, so I gave up and decided to go back to the ball. Mom called and asked about Game Night for David’s birthday. Since Aldo had a last-minute diaper party, I was up to going. Right after I got off the phone with her, I had to pee. And I felt something drop out of me into the toilet (like a small glop) and when I wiped there was a strip of white stuff on the toilet paper. Was this my mucus plug?!

1. Can be clear, white, green, yellow, pink or brown.
2. Doesn’t always come out at once.
3. Can be 4-5cm in length.
4. A sign that your cervix is “ripening”, typically between 37-42 weeks.
5. Could be weeks, days or hours until labor starts. More likely hours if this isn’t your first birth.

** NOTE: If you are dilated or "thin" at all, then you have probably lost your mucus plug. However, even though the books and internet make such a big deal about it, the doctors don't. (I've also looked at the pictures and it's more of a thin, sticky-looking snot... or imagine an egg white. Not cottage cheese white.) The two big things to watch out for are: CONTRACTIONS at 5-1-1 (5 minutes apart, each lasting 1 minute long, for 1 hour) and YOUR WATER BREAKING. The doc also later tested my cervix and it had "thinned" but was not down, and I wasn't dilated much, if at all.

So now Aldo, Mom and I are on high alert for contractions, etc. during Game Night. By 7pm nothing has happened. By 8pm nothing has happened. I go home and by the time my kids are out in bed, nothing has happened. It’s 11:15pm and nothing has happened. Clearly no baby tonight. I’m questioning whether or not I lost my mucus plug now. Am I just a gross person and that was discharge of some sort, because in pregnancy there’s all sorts of things no one talks about and you end up finding about it later when it happens to you. If it was a mucus plug, my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. The only thing I’ve felt strongly since are baby hiccups.

The biggest frustrations are hoping, waiting, and guessing. All I can recommend is to hold in there. Your little one will be in your arms shortly. It's okay to be frustrated, but don't get mad at yourself or others, and try not to take it out on the people you love. Continue to hope and pray. Even if things aren't turning out like you want them to.

Moving Month, Part 2

This has been the hardest month (week) physically, financially, emotionally, and any other which way you look at it. Originally our Must Move Out Date was December 15th. But when the new buyer's loan didn't come through, the date was pushed back to December 30th. Aldo and I had most of our stuff moved out by the 15th. The final things were bicycles, tools, and the like in the garage. And some condiments in the fridge. Then, the week of Christmas mom informed us she was going out of town to Tennessee to move her camper and put an offer on some land down there. She said we (Aldo, myself, my uncles and Granddad) had to move her stuff out by the time she got back. Because the next day she would be signing the papers over. !! We had three days.... AND this is Aldo's busiest season, full of BLACK OUT days. 

Well, we did it. We got it done. With a toddler too!

Let me vent for a second.... I thought I might get a break from moving on Christmas Day. I didn't. Mom was taking off the next day for her trip, and all Christmas she was grumpy, saying stuff like "well I need to pack... I guess I'll do it by myself... nobody is helping me..." in her passive aggressive way of asking people to help her move. It's Christmas! So I went all day hearing this while trying to be with family, and finally couldn't take it any more and went over to help her get things loaded on her camper at night, since the guys just wanted to watch football. We pulled the camper in front and were checking the tail lights when we found that the entire right corner was covered in mold. The cushions were ruined. The corner needs completely gutted. So I couldn't pack anything on the camper. At the same time we found a leak in the garage. Apparently all that work mom and Jerad did on the garage roof, pulling up the surrounding metal, cleaning off the top, patching, and painting didn't fix the problem. So all night mom was furious. I went to help her pack so she would be ready to leave at 6 or 7 in the morning, so she could get down to Tennessee at the time she wanted, but instead  most of the time was spent shaking her head at the cushions and the puddle in the garage floor. The next morning she took her Durango to the mechanic to have fluids checked and wound up getting things replaced... and didn't leave until after noon.

Day 1 - Monday : Jerad cleaned out the 3rd garage stuff like mom's tools that she wanted in the trailer and put a load of things in his horse stall.

Day 2 - Tuesday : Jerad and I started packing boxes and moved them all to the large trailer with the furniture so we could figure out the best way to pack it on mom's trailer (to fit it all and get what mom wanted by the door.) Then when Jul came over we started moving it over to mom's trailer. It was probably our biggest moving day. And all this time Luke, Jenna and sometimes Jenna's friend were watching Mila.

Day 3 - Wednesday : Aldo and I both had to work in the morning, so Jerad watched the kids for us. Dad wanted to meet with me and the kids after I got off work for a special Christmas shopping spree. And then when we got back, Jerad was ready to finish with mom's house. I guess he had moved the rest of the garages and back room to the barn?? Or somewhere. I have no idea. So what was left was craft room junk and outside junk. We spent the night moving old, good-for-nothing (not even firewood) lumber on Jul's trailer. 

By the time mom got home on Thursday I was super excited that we got all that she asked done. Thursday morning Aldo and I went to sign papers at the apartment because it would be his only day off. Mom wasn't impressed at all when she saw what we had done. She said we didn't have to move the wood. The trailer was packed wrong. And where did her computer go? And we need to stop using her internet. ?!?! 

The newest news is this: the sale of the house fell through.

The appraiser for the VA that the guy was getting his loan from appraised the house too low. An appraisal that may stick with the house for 6 months. Mom doesn't want to come down on the price of the house again... (it would be $232K). All of our rush and work, I feel, was for nothing. She commented that she's letting the contract with her real estate agent run out and she'll do a For Sale by Owner. And in the meantime bring up the price of the house by updating the kitchen.

Lately, she's been hovering. The other day she wanted Luke to go with her to recycle, and when I said no because we had plans, she began to interrogate me on what those plans were. And got defensive when I said she's judgemental and that's why I didn't want to tell her. (Maecy said she told her our conversation and that she assumed I was at our Pastor's house. A Pastor's is not a bad place to hang out. No wonder I never had friends growing up...). When I went over today  to finish up the basement by shampooing the rest of the carpet and sweeping and mopping, and scrubbing the bathroom floor like she wanted... she came down and started spraying cleaner in the creepy bathroom (that we never used and had already cleaned) and started looking under sinks and such. When are we going to be free of her criticism? Are we ever going to be finished with the house? We have our own apartment now, pushed out / forced to get into by my own mother... when is our life going to become important?   Nothing we ever do, no decision we make is ever going to appease her.

I'm seriously bummed for my mom that the house didn't work out. This whole adventure / process has been one obstacle after another. I'm sorry her hopes were set high. I'm sorry she's now stuck in a house to pay for by herself, with an animal she'll have to take care of by herself, with repairs or remodeling she wants to make to get it sold at the price she wants and I'm sure she'll be left to do it by herself. The outcome to all of this isn't what I thought. What should be a celebratory thing hasn't been that way with every step. All I know is now we have the keys to a place called home, and we're going to be sleeping there on Tuesday. 

Let's Throw in a Wrench

Have my posts been mainly negative lately? I feel like every single one since June has been negative. Sorry, if so. It's not my intention.

HOWEVER, I have some good news and some... wrenches.
Aldo and I went and looked at the apartments on Wednesday and Thursday last week like we planned. Apartment #1 was right off the highway in a closed off neighborhood, but the lady immediately turned me off from it because she was snooty and didn't seem to care (or maybe she thought it was out of our price range). Even so, because she didn't try to "sell" it to us... Aldo and I picked that place apart! We were so skeptical, which hopefully surprised the lady into treating the next couple differently. Truth be told, the corner kitchen was almost non-existent and I need room in my kitchen. I don't want dishwasher on top of oven and fridge hidden in a weird place. So Apartment #1 was a big, fat NO. The next day we went to scheduled, Apartment #2. The lady there was much nicer, the apartment wasn't terrible per se, and they had a fishing pond as an amenity as well as the usual outdoor and indoor swimming pool, which was really cool. But, on the downside they couldn't show us a two bedroom and they have over 30 different floor plans. I want to see what I'm buying! That way I can plan for it. How do I know if I can get my couch in the door? So, that was a red flag making Apartment #2 a NO also. Driving down the street, Aldo said that a friend recommended one that was close by, so just in passing we decided to drop in unannounced and check it out. Apartment #3 lady was so sweet to us and to Mila. (A good sign.) She showed us a model that was almost the exact floor plan of what was available. It was nice and open. The kitchen was big. Large closets in both rooms. AND the apartments are gated and after doing a search, I found that they're across the street from a brand new elementary school. AND, in the right price range!!! I got so excited leaving. It was an actual possibility. The more and more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. Luckily for us, someone put in their deposit that day so we couldn't. As I type, we are on a call list. When the next apartment opens, we're putting in our application and deposit. !!!!! Finally, we will be adults again. On our own. No one judging what we do. No one complaining. No one getting upset because we didn't offer our to help out of our free time or family time.
I am so eager, I can't contain it!

But, like we agreed, we are set on not moving in until February (tenants must give 60 days notice), if an apartment opens. And of course, after we test to see if it's affordable. My guess is - we can make it happen.

Now for the wrench. So we've got the ball rolling... this week we moved around Jerad's furniture and dusting, preparing for a carpet cleaning and to get our stuff moved in hopefully by next week. Then, last night... mom said she was taking the downstairs room that's closest to the door. THAT'S LUKE'S ROOM. You know when you plan for things and then... someone else throws in a wrench. There have been so many wrenches in 2016, it's like a nightmare for someone like me. So... I've been perturbed to say the least.

1. There's only two open rooms downstairs. The third room needs a lot of cleaning. I don't think it's going to be open by December.
2. ALDO and I have been prepping and talking about this. Nobody else has said a word.
3. I have barely dealt with living with my mom above us. And I was worried about living with another relative (male too!) and it ending up just the same. How in the world can we live with my mom in the next room? 

:|

Birthday Blah Blah

I'm not too ecstatic about Mila's birthday.
It's not right that I have to put off celebrations to cater to the schedules of others. To the point where it may have to be celebrated in a different month entirely. And also, that those who claim to love her obviously don't care too much about her because then they would know that this is a huge milestone and would shower her in gifts, yet they didn't get even one. It's not about YOU on HER birthday. SHE gets the attention. I thought that this birthday etiquette was understood. But here I am on a venting overload.

Mila, know that I tried to get you a big birthday. I tried to go all out. I had the plans. It was going to be a "Ruffles & Bows" themed party. I had the outfit (and backups) picked out for you. I would have even attempted to do special frosting on the cake myself - ruffles! I had the invite. It came down to the date, time and place.
Can't have it at home (which is where I really wanted to have it) because the grounds need to stay clean for the sale and for the house going on the market. Also can't have it for long because it's a "distraction". Can't have it at the park because it's hot. Can't have it at the pool because there wouldn't be any food. Can't have it at the church because they've already done so much for me, and I would feel expected to decorate. But I can't decorate because it could also be considered a "distraction" and we need to save for a house.
I'm so sorry Mila. You are my baby girl, my sassy pants, my princess. I wanted to have this big, extravagant thing and I was, honestly, let down.

Here's how it went: I had to work, so while I was gone Luke and Daddy got up and blew up balloons for you. Luke really wanted you to have a surprise when you woke up. When I got home I was super excited about you opening your presents, but Daddy made us eat lunch first. After lunch and ice cream, you opened your gifts from us. You weren't even dressed up yet, but that's okay. We couldn't wait! Luke gave you a fun, pink and purple piano and a Minion microphone that sings a Minion-version of "Barbara Ann". It's about bananas. This is right now your favorite song. <3 Daddy and I gave you a barn puzzle that talks. Luke also made you a homemade Pokemon book.
Grammy called and was slightly bummed that you already opened your gifts and so we re-packaged them, dressed you in a cute outfit, and decorated your chair for when it was cupcake time. You re-opened your gifts. They were just as great as the first time around. You didn't want to sit in your seat (it was close to nap time) - but you were okay once you saw the candle, which Luke accidentally blew out in demonstration.
You poked the cupcake frosting. Once it was on both hands, you tried to wipe it off... with your hands... and you got angry because it was messy. So I forced some frosting in your mouth. You spit it out. I put some more in and you just weren't having it. Daddy said you might be like him and not like sweets. (I know that's not true because you can sense when I am eating chocolate.....) So I gave you some of the cupcake portion without frosting. You didn't care for it either. Cupcakes were a bust. You were more interested in these flavorless teething treats. And that was it. Blaaahhhhhhhhh....

Selfie with the Birthday Girl

 Not Too Sure

 Trying to Share.

Trying to Help.

Trying to Trick You, But It Didn't Work.

Mila Likes Her Music

Worst Week Ever

Maybe it's been two weeks, I'm not really sure - the days are beginning to blend. I typed this all out once already. It was cranky. It was tired and worn. It was venting. It was the honest truth. Yet, I still (even if nobody ever reads this) want to keep my family members in good light. Out of all the times I feel as if my husband or I have been misrepresented, I just can't speak ill of people... because I want others to get their own impressions, not base it on someone else's ideas and thoughts.

All in all, my lesson for this week is: Actions speak louder than words. And eventually, the truth will come out.

• It started with mom putting the house on the market and wanting to have a huge estate sale. Everything goes. Except what she can fit in the 3rd garage. I would be better help if I knew what she wanted to keep (she is keeping a lot of - what I would label as - junk) and also, if Mila wasn't so clingy. Of course, when mom needs me, Mila is sick or teething or not sleeping at night or dealing with separation anxiety because I worked the night before.

• Our 7th Year Anniversary was in the middle of all of this. Aldo works crazy schedule hours, and so to celebrate we went to World's of Fun with the youth. He insisted I go this year because I've missed the last 2 or 3. I got burnt. Baaaaad. At the time it didn't feel like anything, and I pasted on the sunscreen repeatedly, but it seems the older I get, the less the sunscreen works. My skin was baked at the end of the day. Like a juicy, ripe tomato. So on top of Mila not sleeping, I couldn't sleep from the fact that I couldn't get comfortable. Lack of sleep = Lack of motivation to do anything.

• We didn't get our mortgage loan approved. Apparently we don't have enough credit lines.

• We haven't received any info on our credit card request. That was supposed to take 24 hours. It's been weeks.

•  And last, like the cherry on top of it all, when I go to church, and yes, still without my husband which is a crummy deal all in itself and now without my mom or sis, I can barely stay for worship. It is a struggle to hear the message because Mila wants what she wants and I can't leave her alone in nursery because it is overflowing with kids and she's needy. Somehow I'm the only one that can communicate with her. Others can barely last an hour, if that. When Mila cries... She doesn't wear out. There's no consoling her unless you know the one thing she wants. So needless to say, Sundays have been warfare. Additionally, the leadership want to have a Sunday night service. I'm all for it, but I keep asking myself - what can I do? I have nothing to give. My Sundays have been taken. My early morning devotions by myself have been taken (it's the only time I can do any work because Mila is asleep). I'm worn.

So I'm holding out for this sale. Hopefully things go more smoothly when the house gets listed officially. I will continue to hold my tongue even in disagreement. I will push through at church and maybe even wake up earlier in the morning. God and Me Time has to be a priority. It just has to.

I'll end with this - and I'm sorry this is so random - People make mistakes. I'm trying the best I can. <3

Roller Coaster of June

I said I would do a two-parter and never got to it...
June 2016 has been a full month. It's been a crazy roller coaster. Sometimes life's like that.
The Monday after returning from our family trip I got a call from Dad; he was on the way to the hospital because Grandma wasn't breathing. I'd been expecting and prepping myself for this for a while (Grandma had multiple cancers for 12 years), but nothing can really prepare you. And no matter how much I thought I was ready, I wasn't ready for it at THIS time. Over the week it was a mixture of emotions. Luke's birthday sleepover was cancelled, but we made it work anyway. Camp was coming up. Offered to help Dad shop for funeral clothes. A constant back and forth.

In Aldo's words... "Grandma would've liked the funeral service." Whenever I go to funerals it brings up thoughts of what I would like mine to be like. If it's hot, make that thing as quick as possible. Tell some funny stories. I'm sure somebody has one. (Aldo and Maecy diving in the frozen pond after the ducks never gets old. Or the time when Aldo almost got the "stuck egg" unstuck. I know they're not really stories of me per se, but who cares... They make ME laugh.) I enjoy games. Cards specifically. The kind of cards that make you think, but I know that there's some personalities out there that can't sit still through the rules alone. Especially if Aldo's the one explaining them. So, play some cards and that would do.

For Luke's birthday we set up a fort, hanging from the wall. He'd been wanting another "fort night" for a while and it just happened to have worked out. We (I) decorated the living room with draping streamers that had cut outs of leaves attached. Green balloons hung around with dollar bills coming off of them. It was a weird green jungle in our living room. We rented Zootopia and had zebra cakes, popcorn, root beer, animal crackers, etc. to go along with the jungle theme. And a fantastic breakfast made out of donuts, whipped cream and strawberries. I love cohesiveness by the way. The movie had animal cops in it - donuts went right along. Sorry for the misrepresentation if you are a cop reading this. Everyone likes donuts I think. For Luke's present we got him a dinosaur robot. Mila gave him a dinosaur (which I should know the name but it's been a while since Luke has quizzed me or since I've read up on them in the dinosaur portion of Luke's encyclopedia...), and it matches the indominous rex... Because it too makes sounds when you move its arms and I think it lights up too. It's the dinosaur with the flaps on the sides of its head that fan out when it gets excited. Luke didn't have that dinosaur yet. ;)
He was completely surprised over and over. He said "it just keeps getting better". Oh my heart.

Now skip forward to camp. We went down on Saturday to prep the sanctuary and rooms, and unload everything. My biggest job was going on a Walmart run. I'm glad I did otherwise I would have been stuck watching, feeling useless and unhelpful. That night we went out to eat... It felt disconnected, or at least I did because I was stuck on the end away from everyone. That's what happens when you have babies. They require all your attention and energy, so it's really hard to carry on a conversation, let alone a conversation that doesn't include kids, and eat too. Food is always cold.
Sunday we went out for breakfast, and then the day was busy, busy, busy again. It felt like 2 o'clock (when the staff showed up) and then 5 o'clock came all too soon. I don't know how but for the rest of camp, I was always busy with something during the meals, so I wouldn't be able to eat until hours later. Or food would go half eaten and then hours later I would pick up wherever I left off. Registration (and this is supposed to be "my baby") went as smooth as ever. Meaning it didn't. Registration is never smooth. There's always something. This year it felt like it was confusing and hectic. Maybe that was just me because I was juggling a baby at the same time. And I have no idea if people paid. My inner organizer thinks there has to be a better process.
The first session was perfect. Mila wasn't a disturbance, she sang with the music and watched from the back. The merch table had a handle on things. It was all good. Then during prayer Aldo took Mila and I was able to pray over two girls. The first one was a confirmation over a girl. And the second was just kind of like a blessing-ish thing over another girl. I remember praying for dreams and visions over her. Both I prayed in tongues. The new thing this year was the After Party, but it was too late for me and for Mila, so we party pooped out and went to bed early. I heard they had fun doing the cha-cha, macarina, maybe the cupid shuffle, and hitting the quan. (Ask me about all about thee dance moves...... I know nothing. I used to be in once upon a time. There are times I miss dance; these are the only times.)
That night I had a dream. It was about how I got this weird call for help on my phone and I searched up and down the streets for this person. I ran into her at the post office and said, "I've been looking everywhere for you." She confessed to me that it was her calling for help but not for her; she called for her brother who was abused because he liked to dress up like a girl. Then I sensed (I can't remember if I ever saw them) that the parents were "Christians". So on the outside it looked like a perfect family, but on the inside there was a lot going on. I woke up shaken. My heart broke for the girl and her brother. And I remember asking God - what do you want me to do with this? And He brought me to the story of the woman brought before Jesus by the Pharisees who was caught in adultery. He said, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone". And later, "where are your accusers? Then neither I will accuse you. Go and sin no more." It was awesome to have that shown to me so deeply. I realized that there are two types of sins: the kind that you can blatantly see and the kind that are hidden. The boy in the dream was confused. I don't know if he sinned or not, but the parents were embarrassed because what he was doing was out in the open. It was crazy! And I remember feeling so hard for the boy. He was tall and his face was expressionless. Like he couldn't feel any more. The sister tried to remain strong for him. Anyway, a bit later I was thinking, and a name popped in my head. Of one of the students. I was worried about her. Is she the one that is dealing with abuse at home and hasn't come forward? So I went to Miss C that morning during breakfast.
Later were the workshops. I was unsure if I was supposed to be in the older girls' workshop or not. They left my name off the schedule, but it seemed as though they wanted me up there for prayer and as another woman minister, and what if... especially after a dream like that. However, Mila got us kicked out. I stepped out during worship because she was a little loud and went back in for the speaking. I was just telling Kari that if she got too rowdy, tell me, when Miss C came over. I was devastated. I didn't know where to go. I thought I should take a nap on it maybe.... So I went back to the room. Mila slept a tiny bit. I lay there trying to get over what happened. I came to the conclusion that I might be heartbroken, but I was positive that Miss C was also heartbroken. The whole situation just stinks. It took a while to get over; I almost broke out in tears when Anna came over during dodgeball signup and then in front of a male counselor who I didn't know.
Much of the rest of camp is a blur. I was able to go to all of the worship parts of each session, but not the sessions themselves. I missed out on Angela Gazaway's preaching where she simply had kids and adults look into a mirror and tell their pain to go away. I missed out on the other church's drama. I missed out on Pastor Steve's teaching - I can't even tell you what it was. I missed out on Miss C and Pastor T talking about baptism. During those times I either took Mila back to the room to play or sleep, prayed for what felt like forever in the waiting area below the sanctuary, or went to the dining hall. One of the times in the dining hall, all of the kitchen ladies were just enraptured by Mila. It was after one of the hard times. After not being able to go to any of the services, I was frustrated with Mila particularly and seriously questioning whether or not I belonged at camp at all. (Let me backtrack real quick. I can't remember when, but there was an end of a service that I was able to catch where they called the ministers up. I told Kari to go up while I watched the merchandise table. I couldn't even sit there so I had to ask Shane to take over for me. Later I saw Shane, so I have no idea who took over the table. And there were times when I left Mila's snacks in one place and bottle in another and diapers and wipes in another. It felt like Mila and I had taken over camp with our stuff and anywhere you went you couldn't escape. The dining hall had her car seat in one place, her jumper in another, and her stroller in another. I kept asking myself why were they even in there when she wouldn't sit in them for more than 10 minutes. The stroller was only a storage spot for random junk the entire camp. Why take up the space?) And that same question came to my mind as well. Am I just taking up space? Why am I here? But I had to fog that question out with the fact that I had mentioned that earlier on during the planning process and they said they wanted me there. That alone kept me strong. So as I was keeping it together in the dining hall, Sheri Smith, Sheri Baptist, and Patty Bradshaw encouraged me with simple things. They took Mila and told her how wonderful she was. They gave me spoonfuls of peanut butter to feed her, a piece of red licorice, and for myself a bowl of fruit cocktail. I'm one to wear my feelings on my face. It's hard to hide how I feel. So I'm sure they could tell I was frustrated and worn out. They told me I was a good mother. (I could cry now typing this.) Then they went back to work. I sat with Mila and watched her enjoy all this food. Then she tried to share her peanut butter covered licorice with me. It was cute. Her jamming it down my throat, sharing her sweets. Then she accidentally dropped it in my fruit cocktail. So as she was grabbing it out, she realized ooh, what's my hand dipped into now? And started swirling her hand around in my fruit cocktail. It's funny how babies question whether or not something is edible. Or how they explore new things. She started eating the fruit cocktail with her hands, and when she was done with that proceeded to feed it to me. She thought me sucking it from her hands was hilarious. It kept her entertained because I ate two bowlfuls.
I had to give up blowing the horn for Camp Wars. But that's ok - I had my own walkie that I kept for all of camp and I was able to use the buzzer on it to let everyone know when each round ended and began. The kids loved coming over for break and oggling over Mila. They loved sharing their Camp Wars gear with her - letting her wear their color beads, head bands, tiaras, etc. And she would give out "kisses" freely. I claimed that I was getting "sloppy 35ths", although it was much more than that.
Sorry I'm going out of order. The day after the first dream, after the workshops, Miss C called me to come with her. I thought I was going to get reprimanded or an apology, but I didn't. She called me over because the girl I had a dream about had locked herself in the bathroom after throwing an enormous fit/rage and was in there crying and scaring the rest of the room. After sending the core leaders and group to swim for a free time, we talked with her a bit and found out that she had been texted someone and they told her to "go die". That's why she was upset. She also has "a glow" that comes over her when she gets mad. And has nightmares. And changes her name every so often because she doesn't like her original name. And she remembers one of her past lives. There was a lot of off the wall stuff. But I was able to talk to her and tell her I had a dream about her. And I asked her if she was abused and she said no. Afterward, Miss C walked with me and told me that she shows all the signs of abuse, but whatever we just did was beneficial because now she is open to talk to us. Even if not at camp, there's an open communication there where she can come to us in the future. The night following I had another dream, except a nightmare. It was about all of the things she said she had nightmares about. And it stirred me up because I asked God, why He would give me a dream like that? But He answered with - "Every good and perfect thing is from above" (James 1:17). I realized that God hadn't given me that nightmare. But it coincided so perfectly so it messed with me. I had to get my mind off of these thoughts, so I switched it up to "Whatever is pure... whatever is lovely... think on these things" (Philippians 4:8). And then I woke up Aldo to partner with me in it and also ask what he thought. We ended up praying over camp and whatever schemes the devil had for it, and then sharing it with Pastor T and Miss C. They told me later that it's difficult to be an intercessor, even when the Lord calls you out for one specific person, because it drains you. So now I knew my purpose for camp, if anything at all. And that's what I clung onto for the rest of camp.
I wanted to be at baptism so bad. But I had learned that God was opening doors and closing doors, literally, all of camp. I make plans, but he leads my steps. (Check out Proverbs 16:9) God is in control. And it's hard when I like being in control. So for baptism I had asked several people if they would watch Mila. They either backed out or it wouldn't work. It was easy for me to see that I was only going to be down at baptism if God was going to make the way. I watched from the balcony for a bit while Mila slept in my arms, and then from the dining hall window when she woke up. I put her in the jumper and turned around and fed her snacks, a constant back and forth, back and forth. She eventually got tired of that so I just held her. And I said in my mind - Lord, if you want me down there, you're going to have to send the person. I'm not going around asking. As people were dwindling by the pool, kids were no longer being baptized but leaders now, I remained calm. I knew that there was still time for God to send the person. And He did. Dez came in and asked if she could hold Mila. I jumped at the chance and went down to the pool. But then when I got there, I felt like I was pacing the pool, waiting for God to let me in. Waiting for the "go ahead" from a leader, or Aldo, or someone. I kept looking at Aldo because he always says that I beat him to it (to baptism). So this time I was going to let him beat me, even if I had already decided that I would like to be baptized. He wasn't budging. And I realized that he wasn't going to without a push. So I was directed by the Holy Spirit to go pray for him. I b-lined it and just started praying for him. I thought it was a good prayer at the time. I don't know if others heard, and Aldo revealed to me later that his spirit man was in a funk at the time, so I can just go by what I thought - that it was powerful. And Aldo decided he needed baptized. But it wasn't what I thought. So we all surrounded him, and I prayed for him. Others were like - dang! But I don't know what was going on... my eyes were closed. And then Aldo told us that he was letting go of pain after our friend Danny had died.
Then I was ready to be baptized. But it seemed everyone else wanted to go. So I waited. I didn't mind being last. (Matthew 19:30) Finally, I said I was ready. I was letting go of control. This entire camp was for me open and closed doors... me making my plans, but God directing my steps... God's provision... and my prayer was honestly "not my will, but Your will" and making that truth. And I wasn't tired of trying to keep it together. After that first dream, God showed me how he felt about the LGBT community. "I have been searching for you everywhere." And the story of John 8. So we all sin. We all fall short. Don't think you are better because you sin in secret. And so I was letting go of misconceptions. And another thing I had put off for a while was my questioning the Christian song about "Wine". There are people that think wine is distasteful and shouldn't be associated with God. At all. I was letting go of these things. And I said that I wanted to be childish for God. I wanted to let go of all of these things. And I wanted to taste His wine. I'm not really into the flavor down here on earth, but I'm sure God's is good. (Luke 18:15-17)
Miss C came over to pray for me I guess. And she said that angels were around the pool and asked me to look for them. I couldn't really see anything. But I "imagined" or maybe I did see - I'm not really sure... I'm not going to double-guess myself or the Lord... - I saw two wings. They were white-ish. There was lightning coming up and down them. And there were rainbows coming out. I can't explain it. Then my ears started to go numb. And then my hands. And I wasn't sure what to do with them. And I don't know what was going on around me. Were people laughing at me? Did they think I was drunk with the Spirit? I talked with Aldo later and he said that when I started speaking in tongues Miss C had backed away from me. I ended up getting baptized finally. Dunked twice because they didn't dip me all the way. And after me, Miss C got baptized. Which I didn't know she had never gotten baptized before at Awaken Camp! Her legs locked up. It was so funny. And I guess she was drunk/tipsy for the next hour or so and still at the testimony service.
All in all Awaken Camp was amazing. As much as the struggle was, God revealed things to me in that and through that. I pray I grow as next camp approaches, and that He continues to reveal things and speak to me like never before. And that I listen. And obey.

Family Trip to Branson, MO

I am going to do this entry for the day in two parts because so much has happened…

June 8-11, 2016
Our Trip to Branson - (10 Months)

Wednesday morning we woke up early, behind schedule as our family usually is (but not on MY part), to head off on our trip, all packed in my mom's blue Durango. Luke and I had been double checking and triple checking bags for days. I think we overpacked. But better safe than sorry. We met up with Maecy and Juan at their apartment, and they were behind schedule too. (I actually think they had just packed that morning! That's something I could never do… I am a planner at heart.) The drive down wasn't bad - Luke watched "Blank Check", I read my book club book written in the voice of a kid with autism doing detective work like his personal hero Sherlock Holmes over a neighborhood dog that was murdered, Aldo was probably bored, and we all did a Mad Libs that was really drawn out. Mila was terrific and slept for a good portion of the drive.

We stopped at Lambert's, Home of the Throwed Rolls. Delicious! I should've known then that the trip would be a little difficult, but I'm an optimistic. Or try to be at least. … I have my moments… Lambert's is just a place that you HAVE to stop at when you go to Branson. It's like a right of passage, or approval to continue on the rest of your vacation. You order your food, but random waiters and waitresses pass by with sides that you can try like fried potatoes and okra, and macaroni and tomatoes (NOT Aldo's favorite). Mila loved the chicken and dumplings I ordered. I filled myself up on buttered rolls though. My stomach was miserably happy. Luke shared livers and gizzards with Grammy - it's their thing. Maecy also had chicken and dumplings, but I don't know if she got to eat much because she was taking care of Mateo every time I looked over. Juan didn't like his chicken fried chicken. He said it was like meatloaf. ((I'm confused. How is chicken fried chicken like meatloaf? Did he order the wrong thing? And who doesn't like chicken fried chicken? You must not be American. Oh wait… ;-D ))

The condo that we upgraded to was nice, but not at all what I expected. I kind of expected a little more extravagant… almost like a cabin with a large living space and kitchen, with three rooms branching off each with their own bathroom and jacuzzi. That's how they explained it. Well, it's not like that. The condo was like three nicer hotel rooms connected. Ours was the middle one and had a large kitchen and  large living room/dining room, a small laundry closet, a small bathroom, and another toilet room in our bedroom and a jacuzzi. Maecy and Juan picked the one I would have preferred, it had a smaller living space and small kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom with jacuzzi. Mom and Luke got stuck with the side that didn't have a jacuzzi, or any flatscreen TVs. Just the ol' tube television.

From what I'm saying, you probably understand that this is one of the only trips that I will ever go on again with my extended family. I've learned that you just can't please everyone. Not everyone likes the same things. Not everyone thinks alike.

That night Maecy and Juan decided to go to Cherry Berry (same thing as Sweet Frog), a yogurt place, and then to a martial arts show called "Legend of Kung Fu - The Return of the Dragon". The show wasn't bad. It wasn't great. It's also not your typical Branson show to see either. Luke got a broken steel rod from it though, and a cheapy wire bike thing, and a picture for memory's sake. Later that night Maecy and Juan bought pizza.

Day 1 - "Legend of Kung Fu"

I figured for this trip we had 4 days, so each of us would be able to pick ONE thing that we wanted to do, and we'd be able to do it easily. Mom's choice was "Ride the Ducks". We decided that Thursday morning before Silver Dollar City was our best shot. Siri, the phone character who is supposed to give perfect directions, got us lost and we were an hour or so late getting started. But, we ended up having the best time! Captain Crunch was making jokes with tidbits of history thrown in and shout outs to nearby must-see shows. We loved it. It was one of the highlights of the trip! I would definitely recommend it. Although, it's not really geared toward Luke's age…

Day 2 - "Ride the Ducks"

Afterward we went to Silver Dollar City. We arrived at around lunch time, and we were at the exact location of the restaurants with the moving tables. Another unwritten right of passage. Because we had chicken the day prior, BBQ was our only other option, and of course it was at the restaurant below ground with the longer wait and the table that was taken right before we got to the buffet. I thought everyone was alright sitting down and eating, until we got outside again. Maybe it was the heat?? Maybe they were tired of American cooking / potatoes?? I don't know. My attitude went sour though. One of my pet peeves is when people don't listen and it feels like I'm talking to a wall. Or they can't make a decision so we're stuck in one spot wasting time and energy. I want to move. That's what we're there for. Let's find something to look at, ride something, or split up since everyone can't be happy. Eventually we made it to the first ride. It didn't occur to me until we were in line that Luke had never ridden a roller coaster before. I imagined it was like watching a scary movie for the first time, like Jurassic World. If he got scared, he could hold my hand. That's not how it was. It wound around and whirled, it went up and down, it went fast! At the end he said he never wanted to ride it again. I realized he had never ridden a big roller coaster before. And he probably actually feared for his life! Maybe I didn't prepare him enough. Oops. Somehow we convinced him to go again with Aldo. Well then we decided maybe we should go to the kiddie coaster. He was still scared and hid his face. Other rides to mention are: the wet ride similar to The Nile at Worlds of Fun (Luke loved, but the wait was over an hour and miserable in the heat), Fire in the Hole (Mom, Maecy and I thought it would be exciting because of the train coming straight at us, but the only exciting part was the water splashed in our faces. Is that new? I remember screaming because of the train…), and the other wet ride in the log. Luke's face was priceless.

Day 2 - "Silver Dollar City"

That night we had already purchased tickets for the Dixie Stampede. It's one of my favorite shows I have ever been to. I remember a more escalated rivalry (political) between the North and South, but I know they change the show with every season. It was still good. The food is AMAZING. What irked me most is that a certain person in our party didn't even try the food. After it was paid for. I'm going to rant for a second: if someone offers you something or already buys you something, I don't care who you think you are or how sick you are of it - you at least try it. Make an effort! The soup was on point. It's like the soup of my life I think. And I'm not particularly in love with soup. So and so missed out.

The day completely wore us out, and emotions were high. The next day we decided to take it easy. It was easier than what I would have chosen… Maecy and Juan picked Mexican food for lunch. (As Aldo would say… "You don't go to China and complain about all the Chinese food." He meant that when you go somewhere, you stick to the local cuisine.) Luke had been wanting to swim since the pools had opened, so we went down to the pool. The water was freezing. All the kids enjoyed it though, shivering all the way. I was uncomfortably cold and mom was by herself. I asked if Mom and Maecy wanted to go to the downtown store for fudge while the guys continued to swim. We agreed. Well, plans changed and changed and changed and changed. We ended up going to The Fudgery and buying about 5 pounds of different flavored fudge. Then going to the Track because Aldo and Juan wanted to ride in the go-carts. Except that it wasn't the right track for Juan. So Maecy and Juan walked across the street to shop while the rest of us stayed at the Track. When they came back they said the stores were closed, and somehow some way, we all drove a go-cart that night. And we all had a good time. I don't know if 100% of us will admit we had a good time, but I know all of us were smiling.

Day 3 - "The Track"

Our final day we drove back up to Silver Dollar City. It was still hot, and busier than the other day we came. Maecy and Juan ended up leaving early because Mateo was showing signs of a temperature. (Or that's what they say.) All in all it was probably good that they left when they did, because I don't think they would have enjoyed another minute being there - Maecy had ridden a few rides, gotten a headache, and Juan was stuck alone watching the kids. After they left, we went on the Nile ride again for Luke and ended with the largest ride Outlaw Run. Before heading home, we stopped at the 5 & 10 (Five and Dime) to buy some souvenirs. You know how the drive home is usually faster than the drive leaving for your trip? It wasn't like that. The drive home seemed longer. Mila was cranky and tired of being in the car seat. My feet were crushed by bags and at a weird angle. And it was dark so there wasn't anything I could read, and Luke took over my phone. Aldo wanted to listen to music, but mom selected Celtic opera Celine Dion-comparable junk that annoyed me.

Family knows just how to get under your skin. But it's not funny.

 

Day 4 - "Silver Dollar City Again" 

Luke bought ostrich jerky with his spending money.

I've had time to think it over. Was I harsh in my judgements? No, not at all. Will a trip like this ever happen again? I hope not. Nothing is interrupting/overtaking a family trip that Aldo and I planned out ever again. To turn this into a positive - I'm deeply grateful and thankful for my family (Aldo, Luke and Mila). They are seriously THE BEST.

Nightmare of a Day

8 Months, Going on 9... (37.5 Weeks Old)

This has been a day. Actually a week. I thought I'd give you a little taste of life at home now.
Yesterday Aldo and I did nothing all morning (meaning we watched tv and held Mila) because I had to go into work at 3. Well, just because Aldo was being nice, scooting on the couch closer beside him I pointed to my shoulder and asked him to massage it. It wasn't necessarily hurting, but it could use a little love and attention. He didn't do much; not what I wanted him to do anyways, and so a few minutes later I got in the shower and ready to go to work.
When I got out of the shower, it felt like I got a crick in my neck! (And that my dears is why you are supposed to drink water…) There wasn't any issue before though, so why would it do this now? The rest of the night at the library my neck gradually grew more sore to where I couldn't move it, couldn't bend over because that strained it, and couldn't cough even.

So this morning I'm hoping the crick is gone. It's not. Mila still likes to be held. I was dreading holding her, not because I didn't want to… I just didn't want the neck pain. Mila ended up waking up at 7:00 am! Before Luke even LEFT for school! She usually wakes up around 10. Sometimes 12. I guess the sleep schedule is changing again. Ugh. So instead of having a quiet morning, I had to shuffle things, and make it work so I could finish the newsletter, clean the living room, have some quiet time, and still watch her and feed her. I had to pick up Luke's eye patch from the eye doctor (that we've been waiting on for months… and I'm not exaggerating). I had to cash a check today for Aldo so that he has his spending money (and I haven't even gotten my "blow money" in cash this month). And I had to get groceries because I'm out of cereal and almost milk and almost diapers (don't want to run out of those for sure) and baby food. BUT, of course, the other day I went on a field trip with Luke to the Sea Life Aquarium by Crown Center. We had a fun time and by the end I was exhausted. So that I wouldn't have to carry around a purse, etc. I decided to just put my credit card, ID, and health info all in my back pocket in the little insurance holder I keep everything in… and this morning couldn't find it. I distinctly remember it on the green chair, but also in the laundry room on the dryer, and a time when Mila was digging through stuff and I caught her with it, took it away and put it somewhere. So I couldn't find it. How am I going to pay for groceries? I called, and they said they accept checks. Whew, I thought, I can still get some work done, come back and find my cards later. I go shopping. I probably spend 30 minutes to an hour looking at Mother's Day cards only to NOT find anything that describes mom or our relationship, or her taste (sorry that hot pink zebra stripe/cheetah print will not work!) and since she works at Hallmark, I have this inner desire and conviction that I have to pick out the right card. I get the rest of my groceries, and by the end there, Mila is getting fussy and ready to go, so I cut the list short and go to purchase my cart-ful of items.
Checks require an ID. I don't have my ID. Thank goodness I have my ATM card. And thank goodness there's money in the bank. Oh my gosh, what a hassle. So I stood there like a dummy entering and re-entering my 4-digit passcode trying to get money out and it continued to say there's an error. After the 7th or 8th time, I figure out that I don't have a checking account and maybe I should select "savings". Error. Ok, try the numbers flipped. Finally, it works! Hallelujah! I barely bought anything and it cost $128. By that time, I was almost like - forget it. It's the end of the month and I'm spending this much on milk and bread? (No meat in the basket?) That's ridiculous!

For the rest of the afternoon I've been looking for this stupid card packet. It's not in the green chair. Not in the new couch. Not in the Franken-couch. Not in the laundry room. Not in my pockets, purses, library bag, dresser, clothes pile… where did it go?

Mila likes to pull stuff out of her diaper bag and out of my purse, and today she kindly helped me by emptying out one of the grocery bags. (There's a trail, showing where she's been.) Right now the dishes are clean, so I'm thinking it's about time for me to get my life together….!
And to start - let's catch up on some blogging, some likes/dislikes, some pictures!!

• Dad (PaPa) came over to visit - Mila still takes a while to warm up to him - and he mentioned that when I was little, I liked to climb up his belly to his neck and shoulders. Literally, the very next day, Mila started doing the same thing. She loves to walk up my belly to my shoulders and jump on my neck. It doesn't help the crick. It's the cutest thing though when her smile is from ear to ear and you see her big "toofers" popping out because her feet are in your face.
• Mila eats baby food now. Stage 2: Sitter. Even though she's crawling and pulling up, she likes Stage 2 best, too many chunks to gag on in the Stage 3, and Stage 1 is too soupy. Best flavors are in Stage 2 also. She likes the "calm" fruity things (apples, pears, bananas, sweet potato). But, she enjoys a little cinnamon added. Or a sip from my Gatorade or Horchata. (Now that I think about it, I'm not as stickler about things with her as I was with Luke. Darn! I said I wouldn't be THAT parent. The one that lets the second child get away with everything and is more harsh on the first and expects more out of the first… They're the first child - how are they supposed to know what to do?! They don't have an older example! …rant over.) Macaroni and cheese flavor is out of the question. And so is anything green. Hey, and can finally suck on those first baby cereal snacks without choking! But if she gets two or more in her mouth, she'll gag. Lesson learned. 
• I got her this cow toy that you can put balls in. She likes the balls. She likes blocks. She likes things that shake, light up, make noise, or shine. She likes bracelets. She likes brushes (hair or tooth). She looooooves remotes. She likes anything that I want and say she can't have.
• She can pull up on things and she's beginning to walk along the couch, etc. It won't be long until she's walking on her own. 
• She recognizes Elmo. She recognizes Peppa Pig.
• She knows sign language!! She's been tugging on her shirts for the longest time and finally we got it… she's saying please!!! I thought she had it switched with "ta da", but she didn't. She was doing the tug without me knowing. Momma wasn't getting it. Aldo figured it out the other day. So for future reference, when you teach your child something, the next step is to be aware when they use it!
• We're still working on the sleeping in her crib and out of a bottle. And teaching her "no" or "ouch" means stop what she's doing. And also, "night night" or "lay down" because lately she's been staying up wayyy past what a little baby should. We get in bed and instantly she wants to crawl around, blow on mommy's belly, look adorable in front of daddy, look at the touch light between our headboard, and climb around the headboard. Being sick these last few days has put a hiccup in our weaning off of mommy and out of our bed. First, I am exhausted. Second, Mucinex lowers your milk supply, as well as do a lot of other things. I'm trying to stay away from formula… it's just so expensive. And if I have the milk supply… well then, I guess I can bear the bites a bit longer.

The whole urgency for sleeping in a crib and going to bottle is because in June we have the Awaken Camp with the church youth again. And this year they want me to come even though I'll have Mila. (They're breaking their "no kids" rule for me!) And even though I'll be completely distracted with her and won't be able to do much. I don't know if they understand how clingy to momma she is…

Speaking of clingyness - She is still clingy, but she'll go to a few people. Amber Springer during our On Pointe classes on Tuesday nights. It was an easy thing to do. Probably because she's in the nursery with all the toys and Luke is in there too. Sheri Smith. I have no idea why. Ricky Skaggs. These last few times at Bible study he's held her and she just stares at him. (He is a bit strange, isn't he? Ha!) And there are people she hasn't warmed up to yet, that you think she would… Maecy and Ember for instance. 

And here are some major pictures I have missed.

Big Girl's First Bath

Mateo Came to Visit!

Early April - We Like to Watch Brother Play Soccer

Go Great White Sharks! Go #2! (P.S. Spring Soccer is freezing)

Happy Easter!

* Favorite: April - First Teeth on Top *

(Middle Right, Gap, Next to Middle Left)