Nesting, Intruders, and Chicken on the Ceiling

...Any Day Now...

6AM in the morning... There's no way I'm going back to bed. My mind and body are on high alert. I think maybe this has a lot to do with (...Well, pregnancy of course. "Everything is because of pregnancy when you're pregnant.") the fact that we've been watching a lot of cop shows: The Mentalist, Criminal Minds, and Elementary (which is Sherlock Holmes), and also that I may have been "nesting" for the past two or so months, but I've been so gigantic that I'm and have been basically helpless, so much so that I can't do anything I want(ed) to do. Well yesterday we did just that stuff. My list. The major things are done. The house is prepared for Mila. So now, hey, my mind has started a new list...

Let me rewind and start with the dream and thoughts that woke me.
It began with a dream where it was raining outside, so for some reason we decide to eat out (I don't know where Luke is) with mom and her "boyfriend"/"friend", Jeff, and ride in my car together. Aldo takes out Luke's seat and the car seat so we can fit in the back. We go out and come back. When we get back and I walk in our house, I start walking around and see boxes everywhere. Empty boxes. And random messes. When I get to the kitchen there's shredded chicken all over like someone missed the pan, but I also see it hanging from the kitchen lamp. I flip a lid! I go off. What in the world happened so that chicken was hanging from our ceiling??? I'm yelling at Aldo and maybe throw some boxes (not at him though) that I can lift. And then I look at the time.
Ok... Wait wait wait... I forgot a part. It took more than that to rile me up. Before we walk in the house, maybe on the way home, I find out my car is for sale for the church. I guess that Aldo and PT had been talking and PT somehow claimed the car for the church, and decided to sell it to buy something else. At first, I'm like - That's dandy. Less insurance. But then it hits me, Wait a minute, that's my car. And I need it for Mila. And for Luke. Is Aldo taking it away because he wants me home? I'm confused here. Wait a minute... Why does PT think he can sell my car? I get to the bottom of it and ask Aldo what's up. Apparently they had a conversation where he said that the car wasn't very good. (Interesting because in reality, when I first bought it, he had nothing against it. AND it's a 2007, way newer than his 1995 Chevy Blazer that has rattled since Day 1, and it's never had a replacement part yet except for when my tire went flat from the glass at the end of our street, whereas his won't even start sometimes and the engine light goes on randomly, the a/c barely works and the gas indicator is wrong.) I was thrown off because my car is totally reliable. Even so, in the conversation with PT the car either got sold or given to the church. What?! So... On the way in the house I'm trying to make sense of the car situation and say that there's no way we are selling it and we need to talk to PT about boundaries, and that's when I walk into the house full of box mess and chicken.
After that I remember ripping up paper and crying on the floor. I wipe my eyes and look at the time on the stove. 10:59AM. OH MY... ARE YOU SERIOUS? I was supposed to be at that dumb Nebraska Furniture Mart health screening at 10:30. This is so that we could have insurance. Missing it means I don't have insurance. Missing it means we won't be able to pay for delivery, medical bills, etc. All of this was taken care of. It was an easy thing to do. How in the world did we miss the screening? Aldo was going to take me. Aldo!!!! And going out to eat with my mother.... Where did that idea even come from? Why today? I freak out again. Aldo isn't even in his manager attire so I have to wait more. It was bad. It was just a bad, bad dream. I've never been so mad at Aldo. When I woke up I was like...... Where's the clock in our room? Where's my phone? I'm totally not missing this health thing. But on the other hand I wondered, is this something pent up inside me? Something God is revealing to me that I need to deal with? Poor Aldo. I feel so bad about going off on Aldo and blaming him for everything, even though it was partly his fault in the dream. The car situation anyway. Who knows what the boxes were for, and why there was food everywhere, and I could have easily watched the time myself and drove myself to NFM. (He'll probably laugh when he reads this, but I really felt bad waking up and still do sort of.)

In reflection, let me tell you where some of these might come from. We just did the list, right? Yesterday I moved all the diaper boxes to the closet. I recycled empty ones that were from baby gifts. There are only two left out (bassinet and swing/bouncer), and we need to save those, and I know exactly where I'm putting them. Yesterday I made chicken and hominy in the crock pot. Aldo did dishes and wiped the counter. No messes were really left there. But had you looked earlier in the week there was sugar all over the stove. And as for the car, mine is ok. Just needs a good wash. Aldo not long ago got something fixed, like a hose or something, but the engine light came on the other day and he wanted to get someone to get out the reader and find out why, maybe it needed an oil change. And last, I really do have an NFM health screening today at 10:30. It's also my mom's birthday. A lot of hidden things on my mind...

That's not all. I may have fallen back asleep because I had another dream. A man got in our house and it was me and Luke alone. Luke was sleeping in his room. The man came through the front door and had a gun. Being pregnant somehow I ran through the craft room to the garage, and went in two scenarios: I either went to the meadow in back because the pond was an obvious choice or I went to the neighbors (yes, in my underwear) and down their drive which is blocked by the tree line to Jerad's. After I realized, I left Luke in the house. I'm a terrible mother!!!!! So I go through it again and this time when he comes in I go low and swipe his legs from under him. Grab his gun, which if it goes off only goes off at the ceiling. Tape his hands together and him to a chair and call 911. When the police get there my prints are all over the gun, but we're all alive. Yay.

I wake up.
Now my mind is racing. Heart thumping. I start thinking of Luke. How could I forget him? He needs karate lessons. I need to tell him about keeping his privates to himself at school and on the bus. They don't wear seat belts on the bus. What if there's a wreck? What if it snows? On his first day will he make friends on the bus, behave, get in trouble? Should I just drive him to school the first day? He's got to keep track of his book bag and that other bag of Kleenex and junk. Will he find his classroom ok? If he poops at school, will he be able to wipe himself. Will he use too much toilet paper? Will I find streaks in his underwear? They don't have wet wipes in the restroom for kids I don't think. Hopefully he's a shy pooper like his dad and just waits to get home. I need to sign him up for sports. Soccer sounds good. School is $100-something a month for full day. Soccer shouldn't be too bad, but I might have to bring a snack and juice to practice or a game or something. We can still do that. Oh my gosh, and Aldo wants to buy/look for a house. Hopefully he gets that raise. 
Lord, only you can take care of us. I feel bad thinking this, but after all that camp and all that stress, is now the time of blessings?

And when it came down to it - ok, it's time to get out of bed. I need some prayer time and some devotion, and some journaling to get this off my mind. And remember it too, for when I have a third child and wake up frantic about how we're going to make it. Sheesh. Emotions. Life. It's messy. And especially tough when you're an organized soul.

Baby soon. School soon. Next entry, I'm sure of it.

Near the End

About 38 Weeks

Almost there....! I'm having weekly appointments now so I just wanted to update on how I'm feeling near the end and what's to be expected. I weigh 230 lbs. (I was paying attention today.) I thought I weighed like 250 or something, and was reeeeeally overweight - terrible, yet delicious chocolate that tastes so good... - but I don't! Yay! I was fully planning on breastfeeding and wrapping (whatever that is) and exercising. I'll still workout and breastfeed but now I don't have to go all crazy.
My blood pressure is awesome.
I'm dilated to .5 cm. Same as last week. Doc expected I'd be further along than that this week, but I'm not. She was going to plan with me a date to induce, but my cervix just isn't ready. For the sake of health, I told her let's wait until next Monday and check again. Maybe I'll go before then, maybe I won't. Monday is the 27th of July and that was my estimate... Either way, plans are to go in for my appointment on Monday. She may decide to induce on Thursday, July 30th if I'm further along. If not, then the latest she'll let me go is August 10th, four days past my due date.

Again this pregnancy is totally crazy different from Luke. With him I was walking around at 4 cm for like two weeks. Went in to be induced in the morning, everything was so smooth, got an epidural at 5 or 6 cm I think, and had a baby by 4pm. This time around... my bag isn't even packed yet. I'm finishing that today. I'm waiting on the car seat cover to come in the mail. Washed Mila's clothes and bassinet bedding, but it still needs to be assembled and her area secure. Maybe it's a good thing she isn't ready to come yet.

Just to be clear, nothing I've said so far is "bad news", but if there was "good news" this would be it - I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not swelling, not having painful contractions, not having horrible cramps, not having locked knees, not badly constipated, etc. Not stressed either, thank goodness. The other day (it was the morning after my dad took me on a shopping spree) I was getting cereal and looked over at the rocker/bouncer. I imagined Luke would be at school and it was lunchtime so I was putting a baby girl gently down for a nap so I could cook and wash dishes. Total daydream... I hate washing dishes. But afterward I was so relaxed and felt completely comfortable and ready to have a baby. This is the second time I've felt "ready". So I'm not stressed right now... I know I can do it. We all can do it. We have a plan in place. Luke asks daily if Mila is coming today. It's the sweetest.
So it's a patient yet anxious waiting game. The not knowing is kind of fun. Is my water going to break? Will I go from a .5 to measuring 7 in an hour? Will we be running around to pack toothbrushes and the rest off our checklist? Will Luke have to ride to the hospital with us or will someone be around to take him? Will she fit in the clothes I picked out for her picture? Will she only be 6 lbs.? It's exciting. And it's less than 2 weeks away!

So for this week or so I must endure the waiting. I must endure the inability to bend over like a pretzel. (I can, however, still shave my legs which I am extremely proud of.) I must endure rolling over in bed to switch sides so my arms don't hurt in the morning. I'll get through the stomach and insides being cramped and causing acid reflux because of the Tums sitting next to my bed. I actually enjoy the random naps I'm taking during the day and falling asleep around 10:30pm, shortly after we start a TV episode, although Aldo might not enjoy it. I'll endure the inability to zip up my pants. And I'll endure the waddling (if there is any... Because I can't tell). To me, two weeks seems like two days. The next post will either be a Monday doctor update or a birth announcement. I'm over the moon right now. <3

Double Baby Shower

Maecy and I had our "Double Baby Shower" yesterday. Wore me out! But, hey, it was a success.
Decorations were supposed to be mint and peach, but it kind of switched to mint/lime/aqua/greens and peach/oranges/pinks. There was an 80th birthday party at the church the day before, and they left up their decorations, so we kept them. Pink and lime hanging puffy balls with tulle-covered balloons - so cute. And it was a huge help because I did not want to hang all those puffy balls we made. We used ours on the present table instead. Mom made these cute letters for Mila and Mateo in our colors that also went on the present table.

Mila & Mateo's Gift Table

Decorations Achieved :)

All the circular tables were covered with green or pink table cloths and had a diaper centerpiece I made. Surprisingly those weren't difficult to make. It was the puff balls I didn't enjoy doing. Anyway, the centerpieces had hand-picked fabric on them (by yours truly) tied into bows. And on top were bath time animals that I let Maecy keep afterward. Mom put down Easter grass. (Could've done without, but it was still ok.) And we also put M&Ms in mason jars with curled ribbon and candles Mom had bought. Sometimes she goes above and beyond. 

I absolutely loved the food table though. Both our colors mixed on each side. Fruit tray, veggie tray, cupcakes by Erica, and meatballs by Ruby (which I didn't get to try). For drinks we had mint-colored sherbet punch and lime/grapefruit infused water.

Seriously the Best Cupcakes Ever!

We started off with Maecy's party. She had more guests than I expected. Quite a few people from church, some of Juan's family, our family, friends, etc. She wanted an Alphabet Book that guests would choose a letter and draw in, so that took up some of the beginning portion. Then Maecy went right to presents. I really wanted to buy her a rocker or bouncer for the baby OR a pack-n-play, both being really expensive. But Dad ended up going in half with us, so we bought her the pack-n-play that she really wanted. After she opened presents (and during) more people showed up for both of us or for just me… that was the weird part. So we switched to breaking out the food and playing games. 

I planned out two games - "Mateo's First Portrait" where guests draw their best impression of baby on a plate that is on their head and Maecy chooses the winner. The other was supposed to be a version of "Name That Tune" but it didn't work out. So last minute we had switched it to a "Nursery Rhyme Fill-in-the-Blank". Honestly I thought the library ladies would win that one, but they didn't. Miss C's table did, which had all younger girls and Kari. I'm impressed. Prizes I picked out were swaddle blankets (the good kind) and nursery rhyme books. I know… clever, right?

Baby Shower Fun & Games

I heard that the guys were elated because they had never been invited to a baby shower before.

Glad they could join in the honored celebration.

After games, it was my turn to open gifts. I was tired by then, so honestly I just tried to get it over with and get people home as fast as I could. Got a ton of clothes, some that probably won't even fit her. The cutest story was that Ember picked out an outfit just for Mila all by herself. When I pulled it out, it looked like doll clothes, they were so small! After looking at the tag, she had picked premie. But she was deadset on the outfit. Kari said that they couldn't find it in any other size. 

I let Luke open his big brother gift in the middle because he looked like he was slowing down a little. He had been such a big help delivering presents over to Maecy and then to me, and getting the other kids in on it too… Mr. Bossy. I picked out a swimming pool, some animal water shooters, and water balloons for him. I thought it was a good idea for these hot months, and something to get him away from the TV and also, something active. Not just wrestlers. He also got a big brother present from the library. How sweet are they?! Minion glasses and a Jurassic World book.

It was fun while we had it, but I was glad when it was over. 

Pros - I wasn't the entire center of attention. 

Cons - It felt like everything lasted too long. 

Next time, I'm not throwing the baby shower while pregnant. #notetoself

So, Mila… Mateo… We're ready for you now!!!

The "Must Take" Picture

Way to Go, Mama (Can you say "pregnancy brain"?)

Take #2

<3 My Fave <3

Like Never Before

36 Weeks

Well, we're back from camp. Haven't found a groove yet, but I don't think we will. Ever since we took look to Jurassic World we've all been staying up till 11:00 or 12:00 at night, waking up late (except Aldo when he works), and myself taking 5-minute naps randomly throughout the day. My body is exhausted. And a few days ago, my mind was panicking - we're in the last month (THE LAST STRETCH)  and the house isn't ready... We don't have a bed, we don't have diapers, we don't have a "legal" car seat, we don't even have a wardrobe.... We are so not prepared.

Maybe it's "nesting", I'm not sure, but since then I've slowly been cleaning the house. There's not much I can do - it's difficult to bend down with the belly in the way. And also the fact that my shared baby shower with my sister is coming up this Sunday has calmed me down a bit. Yesterday Aldo put the bassinet together - now I just need to make space. I went through our hope chest last night and grabbed a lot of baby things to pass on to Maecy. Today I am cleaning out the changing table which is full of crib sheets and blankets to also pass on, I'll find the rest of the baby stuff I need (that I might already have around the house somewhere), put the changing table back together, and hopefully Get some baby shower stuff done.

This has not been the most relaxing pregnancy. Let's just review for a second: we didn't think we were going to have any more and I was getting infections from trying, a Christmas reveal, sickness sickness sickness/nausea all day, camp thinking, cyst surgery, Luke has pneumonia, camp itself (oh, and it was stressful... So much attack internally, I don't think we still can understand what happened), sickness again, baby shower.... Baby is here. Can you believe that working 9-5 was less stressful than being at home? So much more consistent.

Anyway, I really just wanted to update on some funny/not-so-funny changes that my body's been having lately. And it comes back to - I never experienced this before... Well, that's why they say every pregnancy is different right? This first one is actually a no-brainer. The second day on the Mountain for camp, I woke up to my feet and ankles so swollen. I hadn't even walked anywhere yet, let alone up the mountain. I assumed it must have been all the walking the day before, but for the rest of the time, they never went down. Freakishly fat feet! (Side note: baptism felt great! I could've stayed in that pool forever just for the weightlessness and lack of pressure, but I got hungry.) Second, sometimes I think she has dropped a little, even as I walk. I'll go to the bathroom, and then do something (usually I'm walking through Walmart) and all of a sudden it's like her head dropped on my bladder and I'm waddling and feel like I have to go to the bathroom again! Three is the emotions, but we already know those are out of whack. Anxiety is at an all time high. Four, acid reflux. Aldo said with Luke I had heart burn, but I don't remember it. I remember asking the doctor about something and the old midwives' tale was that my baby had hair. Happened to come out true. But it wasn't to the point that I had to take Tums and was waking up at 3am almost puking. (Second side note: PREGNANCY IS SO WEIRD!!!) Last, and most recent, my knees lock up in the middle of the night, sometimes morning. Today it was painful and hard to get it to go away. It's a given that it's associated with pregnancy, so I looked it up. Because I'm carrying all this weight, and from hormones making my ligaments stretchy, my joints are likely to hurt.
Pregnant people don't ever catch a break do they? I feel like we have every symptom under the sun. No wonder people think we're hypochondriacs and liars and whiners and emotional and pansies. How about I beat up your body for 9 months straight, inside and out, and let's see how you feel...
You're welcome for the rant.

And so, I'll end with this - Aldo bought me a new phone for my "push present". It's amazing. I can't wait to take a zillion pictures of baby girl noses and feet, milk mustaches and hair bows, sleepy eyes and sideways smiles in her sleep. You can count on it. AND, I finally got my mom to take the pictures I wanted. Didn't turn out as I thought, but I'm happy with them.

My Favorite

It's a Girl!