Habits

I recently heard that it takes 27 days to make something into a habit (+ or - some in case you're thick-headed, etc.) and in that 27-day period the results will look like a flat line. Then, at 31 days the graph starts to go up and after that accelerates. (In reference to dieting...)

So lately my life has been around making day-to-day decisions and trying to form them into habits. Thanks, sis, for the encouragement and the nasty drink mix, that cost wayyy too much, that you shared with me. Aldo's sister and I were talking about losing weight, and I've been wanting to for a while. The last few months have been spent "getting back to normal". Starting in October, after Nayelli's birthday, I started weaning her from breastmilk. I've accomplished something! I did it. It really was a major feat. The trick for her was chocolate milk. She didn't like regular milk; my guess is that it was not sweet enough. She still doesn't like it. I have to fool her with 3 parts chocolate milk and 1 part whole milk. And now she'll drink horchata or juice too. (And we also found that she's allergic to soda pop! We've concluded that it's too much fructose corn syrup for her little belly that will make her have the runs and the bile will break out her booty in a rash. TMI?)

Back to habits. So I've been wanting to diet. And exercise. I just want to be proud of my body. I want to look and feel good. So I started with weaning. I've had two periods now and I should be on my third, but I'm not totally back to normal I guess, and I can prove now that breastfeeding takes the energy out of you!!! I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. It just comes down to GETTING MY MIND SET.

And it's one thing at a time. This past week I started to cut out cereal and replace with that nasty drink. Honestly, I don't see it fulfilling my hunger needs, but I'm going to stick to it. I only started on Tuesday and then on Saturday I decided to get cereal out of my household by eating the last bowl. And on Sunday, I split a pizza with Aldo at church for our last service as children's pastors. Today, I didn't have anything. But I've realized that I have go-to snacks... like chocolate, that I just want to nibble on throughout the day. That's going to have to be another goal.

And it's not just a cut this and this out when you eat. It's body, spirit, mind thing. So I also started praying, journaling and reading my Bible. THAT makes all the difference. I have more drive, I think. When it's backed up with prayer, then it's like God helps you, you know. I feel clear. I feel loved. I am emotional once in a while and my back hurts, but that has everything to do with me missing my period this month. I Googled that, by the way. I wondered... what are the odds of pregnancy after vasectomy + the odds per day of missed period? I found that after weaning a lot of women can have irregular periods for months. (Technically a period is only considered missed if you don't have a flow for 6 or more weeks after the start of the last period.) I started reading on Thursday, and took a break on Saturday and Sunday, and restarted right up again for this week. I haven't been getting up early in the morning. Sometimes it's during nap time. Sometimes it's here or there, but I found the time and I took it, and I made it a priority to do it. And there hasn't been mind-blowing moments. But one day I did read something marvelous and then later saw on Facebook that one of my friends was prophesying the same word. It really confirmed with my spirit that I was doing the right thing and that God loved me and wasn't mad or anything that I stopped reading for months. And that He would still use me. He would still talk to me and tell me important things.

I'm not sure when I'll add in exercise. I have this re-occurring idea that if I do burpees I'll lose the weight in a flash. <eye roll> ONE: I hate burpees. TWO: Not sure if it would do a thing with my belly jiggling all over the place. THREE: I don't know if I can do one burpee. I don't know if I can do one pushup!!! Should that be a goal? Be able to do 10 burpees? HA!

I've realized that being a stay-at-home mom is not for everyone. I have realized more about myself in this stay-at-home period. For example, I like the bed made. Hmmm... all this time! I've been able to let things go here and there because of kids and things like that, but more and more I'm starting to feel like myself again, and once a long time ago myself liked having the house clean. Now, I just find the energy and opportunities to do it. And I've kept up with the laundry and dishes. It isn't always pretty, but it's at a manageable thing where we wouldn't have to overhaul if friends or family decided to come over within the hour.

I've realized that I need things to look forward to. To plan for. To be a celebration and use my creativity, for me to expend my time on, for me to look forward to. Right now it's our trip to Germany in August 2020 with Granddad. I've done a ton of research on it. I've looked into travel companies - cruises, bus, itinerary planners - I've looked into the places, the costs, the history, the hotels, the bus/train system. I've got it down to where we could do the traveling and planning ourselves hitting up all the stops for a third of the price. But now I'm at a stopping point and can't go any further. Now I need the feedback of Granddad and mom and Nancy. I need the go-ahead to start booking. But I won't be able to do that until March because Granddad recently found out that prostate growths have returned. I don't know the seriousness of this. I don't know if he'll be able to travel come August. And so now I must wait. And I'm not good at waiting.

So in the meantime, what do I do? What should I expend my energy on? That's the crossroads that I'm at. In the morning I've been trying to keep up with Mila and school. I signed her up for Kindergarten roundup at the beginning of April. We'll see if schooling with me has helped in any capacity... I've been trying to keep up with the house. I can do that to a point. There is the vicious cycle that it just gets messy again. And I can't be the only one putting in the work. It's a family thing. So I'll do a little bit at a time. Luke is doing 4H again with Bandit, and he's added in some other projects that we'll attempt this year. Can't do any of them yet though, not until about June. We just eliminated children's church from our responsibilities and we have no obligation in ministry. That's not saying that I don't want to be apart of ministry, or that I'm not that in my home life or when I go to the store, etc. And like I said, I'm reading my Bible. But I'm not cramming it all in. I'm taking a bite at a time and letting it soak in. So now again... what do I do? What do I look forward to?

Should I make it about getting healthy? I'm 223 pounds and 31 years old. I had gestational diabetes with my 3rd kid. I'd like to not run the risk of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, gall bladder disease, and certain cancers. I'd like to live a long, healthy, enjoyable life. (The other day I tried a yoga kid pose and I couldn't bend down because my belly got in the way.) I'd like to be able to keep up with my kids.

I think I should put some work into my health. And I know it takes one decision at a time.