Worst Week Ever

Maybe it's been two weeks, I'm not really sure - the days are beginning to blend. I typed this all out once already. It was cranky. It was tired and worn. It was venting. It was the honest truth. Yet, I still (even if nobody ever reads this) want to keep my family members in good light. Out of all the times I feel as if my husband or I have been misrepresented, I just can't speak ill of people... because I want others to get their own impressions, not base it on someone else's ideas and thoughts.

All in all, my lesson for this week is: Actions speak louder than words. And eventually, the truth will come out.

• It started with mom putting the house on the market and wanting to have a huge estate sale. Everything goes. Except what she can fit in the 3rd garage. I would be better help if I knew what she wanted to keep (she is keeping a lot of - what I would label as - junk) and also, if Mila wasn't so clingy. Of course, when mom needs me, Mila is sick or teething or not sleeping at night or dealing with separation anxiety because I worked the night before.

• Our 7th Year Anniversary was in the middle of all of this. Aldo works crazy schedule hours, and so to celebrate we went to World's of Fun with the youth. He insisted I go this year because I've missed the last 2 or 3. I got burnt. Baaaaad. At the time it didn't feel like anything, and I pasted on the sunscreen repeatedly, but it seems the older I get, the less the sunscreen works. My skin was baked at the end of the day. Like a juicy, ripe tomato. So on top of Mila not sleeping, I couldn't sleep from the fact that I couldn't get comfortable. Lack of sleep = Lack of motivation to do anything.

• We didn't get our mortgage loan approved. Apparently we don't have enough credit lines.

• We haven't received any info on our credit card request. That was supposed to take 24 hours. It's been weeks.

•  And last, like the cherry on top of it all, when I go to church, and yes, still without my husband which is a crummy deal all in itself and now without my mom or sis, I can barely stay for worship. It is a struggle to hear the message because Mila wants what she wants and I can't leave her alone in nursery because it is overflowing with kids and she's needy. Somehow I'm the only one that can communicate with her. Others can barely last an hour, if that. When Mila cries... She doesn't wear out. There's no consoling her unless you know the one thing she wants. So needless to say, Sundays have been warfare. Additionally, the leadership want to have a Sunday night service. I'm all for it, but I keep asking myself - what can I do? I have nothing to give. My Sundays have been taken. My early morning devotions by myself have been taken (it's the only time I can do any work because Mila is asleep). I'm worn.

So I'm holding out for this sale. Hopefully things go more smoothly when the house gets listed officially. I will continue to hold my tongue even in disagreement. I will push through at church and maybe even wake up earlier in the morning. God and Me Time has to be a priority. It just has to.

I'll end with this - and I'm sorry this is so random - People make mistakes. I'm trying the best I can. <3