Friday, October 5, 2018

The Birth Story

The morning started off early. Very early. We had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am, so I woke up at 4 to get in one last antibacterial rinse - I wasn't toying with the idea of infection. I laid out clothes for the kids for the next three days all in order, and prepped some last minute things. Mom was going to come by between 4:30 and 4:45. She ended up coming early at 4:15, right at the time when Mila woke up. I think kids have a sixth sense about these things... because Mila had been sweet all week and would crawl in our bed in the middle of the night. And I let her. It's the last week of her being the baby and only girl!! I think dogs also have a sixth sense, but ours was kind of dumb about it. He would set his head on my lap and then try to burrow in further, and sometimes he would follow me around and sniff my butt. Can you smell my water about to break? Can you??
So we told Mila that the baby's birthday was TODAY and that we were going to the doctor to get the baby out of Mommy's belly. The first thing she wanted to do was go wake Luke up in her bossy way so we could get a move on. As we explained further, she looked puzzled like - Why can't you get the baby out right here? And, why aren't we all coming? But because Mom was there that made it easier. Aldo told her she was staying with Grammy and that they had to make sure Bandit would be good with the baby. And because it's still dark outside she had to go back to bed. I'm not sure if she ever did... but she seemed ok with everything when I told her we would be back.

4:30 AM on 10/4/2018
Last Time Being Pregnant :(

It was dark out still. The roads were empty. It was a quick and surreal car ride. When we arrived at the hospital, they checked us right in. We were taken to what seemed like a hallway with curtains, and behind the curtains were beds where people were either prepping or recovering from surgery. I think I was the only one in their though. First thing I had to do was strip down to nothing and put on the hideous green gown, and let my buttocks hang out. I decided to make light of it, so I just joked around the who time. I guess I did a good job because Aldo commented on how I hadn't been given any medication yet...
I was assigned two nurses to start. One must have been a beginner because the other was watching over her shoulder and making sure she checked everything off the list. (I found out laster that it was her actual job to check things off the list. She did it in the surgical room too. She made sure everything happened according to procedure.) She recommended to the other girl where to insert the IV - on the outer side of my arm... "because it doesn't hurt as bad." I didn't care where it was as long as it was done right the first time. I was thinking, why not in the obvious veins sticking out of the back of my hand??? But they took a long time searching around my arms, tapping along the inside and outside. And what ended up happening...? The newbie stuck me on my inner wrist, not hitting any vein, which had to be pulled out. And then the other nurse re-stuck me in her original suggestion, which also hurt. I thought, I really hope this isn't the start of something... I hope this isn't a Mila experience all over again... (Referring to the medicine that got stuck.)
I know Aldo could see the pain on my face. It's not an easy thing for me to hide. And he could read my mind too. I really tried to be nice and not show the pain so not to make the girl feel bad... sadly, I think she double-guessed herself the rest of the time. They put monitors on me (just like I'd been doing with the NST's) and went through a series of questions about allergies, medical history, etc. Then, they had to shave my nether regions. That was awkward. I wasn't numb or anything, just letting it all hang out in the room. And as newbie nurse was shaving, she apparently buzzed me on the leg and it started bleeding (with clippers that aren't supposed to cut!). From what I could tell... I mean, I couldn't see over my big, pregnant belly... it was a total hack-job! I shouldn't have joked about putting a design in...

The time passed quickly. I was taken right into the surgical room. And it's exactly like the TV shows. There's a metal sink outside that everyone must disinfect his or her hands in. And once you're in, they're all in scrubs and face masks. Later, I even had to put on a hair net. Haha! I was surprised by the table that I had to get on - it was super thin, barely enough space for one bun to fit on. But I did it. The longest time was spent talking with the anesthesiologists, who were really nice (and I think gay too). One of them must have been in training as well because they discussed what lumbar area to insert the needle. What is this... a teaching hospital? Cross fingers I don't die on this table or become paralyzed from an incorrect epidural... They did good. I didn't feel anything but a pinch. I had to hunch over, hugging a pillow, and then lay down and not move. They say there are side effects from epidurals (nausea, headaches, vomiting, shaking, changes in blood pressure, etc.). Thankfully I only experienced a slight headache and that was later. Instead, I started to feel anxiety set in. I didn't know the time and things were happening around me that I couldn't see, with more people than I expected coming in and out of the room... and not introducing themselves like at first. I'm sorry, are you here for the peep show??? Then, all of a sudden, this blue paper separator was put up right in front of my face. I knew it was coming, but I expected it to be a little further down, like by the bottom of my ribs. On the others side of the sheet, my garment was moved aside and again I was out in the open. That's when I got emotional. Part of me has no idea why I was crying. The other part realized that I was about to undergo a very serious surgery and complications could happen. The unfamiliar is scary. I looked over to my left and saw the warmer where they would put the baby after taking her out of me, and I suddenly worried about losing her. All the emotions!! I felt really alone in there. Vulnerable. Where was Aldo? I thought he would be in there as soon as the divider went up. The younger, gay anesthesiologist was the one that reassured me - "Everything is ok. It's normal to be scared. Don't worry about shaking," (as I'm crying...), "Your husband is on his way, someone will go get him when it's time."

Meanwhile, Aldo says that he was still back in the room. Someone had told him that they would help him get into his clubs. But as time passed and the clock showed it was close to 7:30 am, he decided to  put on the scrubs himself. He was given the largest the hospital had and still ended up ripping them slightly. He knew that he wouldn't be able to sit down without completely hulking out of them. And then, when the nurse finally arrived, she said, "Oh good, you're dressed," and brought him straight back. He came in just in time. He says he didn't get to in to see when they made "the cut".

The cut. It was weird. I was laying there with my arms stretched out on the table, and overheard them say, "Hand me the scalpel." Sounds just like the TV shows, right? Then, I felt like someone was drawing across my skin with a Sharpie marker. But because someone had just mentioned the scalpel, I'm 100% sure it wasn't a marker; it was a different kind of "sharpie". Then Aldo appeared. I looked up and his big head hovered over mine. And I teared up all over again. They kept asking him if he wanted to sit, actually, they insisted... because if he passed out, they wouldn't be able to drag him out or take care of him as well as me. We talked for a little while and caught up with what happened between us. And then they were pushing my stomach back and forth. As a pregnant person, sometimes the baby will favor one side and so your belly looks lop-sided for a bit. It was like that. Like they were intentionally making my lop-sided. Like they were playing ping pong with the baby inside of me, shifting her around until she was in the right spot. I asked Aldo if he could see anything, but even standing up he couldn't. Even when the staff said, "Oh wow! She's reaching out her hand! She wants to shake your hand!!" he couldn't see anything. The cut was more on the underside of the belly than on top. It was just too low to get a good visual. Then, all the ladies "ooh"-ed and "aww"-ed over how much hair the baby had. And then, it felt like they were passing her around amongst them, admiring her... while the rest of us waited impatiently. It took FOREVER for them to put her in the clear, heated baby bed. I was watching for it! When they took her over, Aldo asked if he could go over too. I told him Yes. Not because I'm nice. I was actually heartbroken. C-sections suck because it seems like the mother is the last one to see and hold the baby. It's pretty much unfair. I mean, I carried her for 9 months. Shouldn't I hold her first? I let him go so that he could keep watch and let me know every single thing they were doing. I'm the type of person that wants all the details!!!! And he did a good job. She sort of cried. They did a heel stick test. Weighed and measured her. And other things. Then finally Aldo brought her over. Oh my goodness, did she have a TON of hair!!

Nayelli Grace was born at 7:53 am. The entire procedure took 23 minutes. She weighed 8lb 8oz. (I'm sorry... but wasn't she supposed to be a "big baby"? Like closer to 10lb???) And she was 21.5in long. Although the numbers show differently, she seemed like the smallest of our babies. Her jet black, hair-covered head was perfectly small and round. She had blueish-grey eyes and a nose that stuck out a little further than Luke's or Mila's. It's probably because they were smashed as they came out. Same ears as me. No dimples to be seen. Her torso was long and her legs were short, chicken legs (same as Aldo) with the smallest feet and longest, skinny toes. She folded her hands, which have skinny, long fingers and pretty nails. Honestly... perfect.

The First Picture


The Alvidrez "Pout Face"


My C-Section Baby

As Aldo held her next to me, the doctors sewed me up. I didn't feel much; I was too distracted. I guess I had staples on the inside and disappearing stitches on the outside. At the beginning they had counted all of the surgical utensils they were using, and at the end they did it again. So THAT really happens. (FYI: There are more than 20.) And as they cleaned up, I saw a lady carrying a jar of some red liquid. Curiously, I asked, "What's that?" I probably wasn't supposed to see it (maybe from a record of women passing out or getting sick...), but it was fluid. Not the placenta. Bummer because I wanted to see what the placenta looked like. All well. Then we were rolled back to the curtained recovery area. After a little while, Miss C was allowed to come in to take pictures. Our first vision! And she adored Nayelli. Conversation made the two hours of recovery go faster. A lot of the time was spent checking feeling in my legs. Can I wiggle my toes? Can I bend a knee? They put old-granny pantyhose on my legs, non-slip warmer socks, and these motorized compression, Velcro "robot socks" that make sure no clots form. It's like a constant leg massage. I was able to have ice and water, annnnnd I can't remember anything else in there. <Shrugs>
Nayelli was also monitored. She had some checks done right outside the curtain and her first bath. Yes, I missed it. She was pretty content with everything. She didn't cry at all.

Then we were moved to our final hospital room. As we entered, Pastor T was sitting in the dark in there, like a creep! I thought that was funny. The nurses questioned whether we knew the strange guy. Haha!

Daddy and Nayelli

<3 Her Hair! <3

Mommy and Nayelli
(I caught her first smile on camera!)

The Announcement Photo
(The hair was kept a surprise for in-person visits...)

So... between the four days that we stayed over I can't keep everything clearly separated. I'll share what I can remember. The rest of the first day both Nayelli and I had our blood sugars tested to make sure diabetes didn't stick. They monitored my pain, which never really flared up. And I was able to eat lunch!!! Most delicious bland chicken I've ever had. Dad ended up coming to visit and brought A BUNCH of goodies - giant rice crispy sticky cookies, vanilla cake balls, chocolate cheesecake brownies (my new fave that I didn't know existed that I'll have to purchase again... and I probably ate an entire box myself... to test the glucose, of course!), party-sized sherbet, juice boxes, plates, forks, spoons, balloons, party hats... THE WORKS!!! I told him about how Mila said we needed to have a birthday party for Nayelli and he sure made it happen! And, all my guests were happy too. (Or, Nayelli's guests, I guess.) Lily visited that afternoon and Mom brought the kids later that night after dinner. I wanted to be empty-handed (no baby) when Mila came in so not to cause any jealousy off the bat. But you never know what's going to happen, right? And it just so happened that I was supposed to feed newborn Nayelli every three hours, at the very least, AND when they all showed up I had just hit that three-hour mark. So I hid her quickly under the blanket. Luke and Mila came in and saw me and Daddy first. Luke immediately wanted to know where the baby was, but I told him to hold off because, "Baby Nayelli brought you presents!" I had them open their gifts first. Mila loved her princess shoes. Except one of the princess emblems broke off right away. Cheap dollar toys... Luke like his gifts too, but he wanted to open them right away and that ended in a little break down (had the batteries, but no screw driver). So opening presents took a while. Well then, the Gutierrez family showed up again. We had a packed room! We passed out the goodies and party hats and then big brother and sister got the big reveal. I told Mila, "The doctor got Baby Elli out of Mommy's tummy... See!" and BAM! took Nayelli out from under the blanket. If I could describe Mila's reaction it would be a cross between confused and excited. Like - Whoa! Mom just pulled a baby out of her belly! Was not expecting that! They both got to hold her (on a Boppy) and from that point on LOVED her. The best reaction was Luke's. As he held her, he was saying how he was shocked she had so much hair and that it looked like his. I said, "Well Luke, that's not all she has. She has long toes like you. And when she cries, she has the same pout face." He thought that was pretty funny. But I kept going, "See Luke, God knew you didn't need a little brother... you needed a little sister who looks JUST.. LIKE.. YOU!" He grew silent and then closed his eyes. Slow motion - his head tilted back and with mouth opened wide, he started to SOB! Tears just streaming out of his eyes!! Dang.. way to go, Mom... Make the kid cry... I felt so bad!!! A story for the memory books, I guess. #ironic #priceless


 
Nayelli's BIRTH-day Party

 

The next day when the kids came, they brought Granddad and Nancy with them. They were baby-holding pros at this point. My "goal for the day" was to continue managing my pain, have the catheter removed, and be able to walk to the bathroom. Seems like the expected recovery time was a bit quick. By the end of the day I should have peed three times on my own. The first walk wasn't as bad as they say. I didn't feel like there was a hole in my stomach. Instead, I felt like I couldn't stand up straight and I had to hobble to the bathroom. Getting in and out of the hospital bed was the real puzzle. Learning the best way to get one leg up and then the other, and then slide back into a comfortable, upright breast-feeding position. By that evening we had found our rhythm, although, I still can't figure out why Aldo was so tired. It seemed like he slept every moment he had the chance. Probably the entire spectrum of manly emotions wore him out??? I have to give him kudos for being more attentive to me than the previous delivery (Mila). But that might be completely ill-calculated since I experienced baby blues and EVERYTHING he did was wrong.

That night I sent Nayelli to the nursery for a couple of hours just to get some rest. They say to take advantage of the nursery. Plus, every chance I had, I chose to hold her. Two hours away for the night while all three of us slept is not bad at all. Aldo on the couch, me in the bed, and Nayelli safe in the nursery. No reason to feel guilty. The nurses said she was a doll. And she stayed away from those loud boys. Also, while she was in there, she ended up getting the rest of the slobber crud out of her system. (She had been gagging every once in a while. With vaginal delivery that stuff is pushed out, but in the case of a C-section... it has to be suctioned. FYI: One of my worst fears is for a baby or child to gag/choke and me not knowing what to do or what the proper technique is because I never took the Newborn First Aid & CPR class.)

Great Granddad Cooper & Nancy

Mila waiting her turn...

  
<3 BIG SISTER, MILA <3

  
<3 BIG BROTHER, LUKE <3
(He told the kids in his class that he loved her smell...)

Day 3 - Maecy and the kids came to visit. Mateo smiled at Nayelli and had this look like - Mila, I know what it's like to be an older sibling. You're going to like your baby. So sweet! I got a surprise visit from my cousin, Haley, who was working in another area of the hospital and took her lunch break to come see me! And later, my Aunt Diana and Great Aunt Dolores came. Dad brought Stacia and her gang of kids. I'm almost positive one of them set off the alarm and put the maternity ward on lockdown. Aldo's mom visited every day, I think. I'm not sure, but it was always chill when she came. It was reassuring to have her there even in the background. We had a small photo shoot toward the end of the day with Miss C, Nat and Mikala. They ended up leaving sooner because, "I looked like I wasn't feeling well." My countenance changed quickly in those last five minutes from enjoying the company to what looked like a painful grimace attempting to hide behind a smile. In all actuality, it wasn't pain... I had to poop. And I was afraid to poop with company there. Not my first poop. So... I don't know if we got any good pictures or when I'll ever see them, but if/when I do... I will post them pronto.

 
Tia Maecy & Cousin Mateo
*Unpictured: Cousin Joshua was in the other room because he was under 1 year old...

 
Aunt Stacia & Cousins Kaidynn and Ava
*Unpictured: Cousins Jax and Cash because they were over with Papa, probably getting in trouble.

The final day was fast and slow. Fast because I wouldn't have minded staying another day. I enjoyed having the option to order somewhat homey food from the cafeteria and having nurses constantly on my case about how I'm holding up. And not having to worry about the house work or (I love them, I love them, I love them...!!!) my other two kids. Oh, and I have to say something about this... I stated point blank before leaving that our dog is an inside dog, that he needs this much food at these times, that the kids' clothes are laid out, etc. etc. Day One - guess what happens. The dog was left outside in the rain and tore the sliding screen door off the back porch. He's never gone for the screen door! Day Two - he ripped the screen out of the frame. Day Three - he was left outside in the rain again. I don't know how long, but we gave a friend the key code to get in the house and he ended up having to bring Bandit in and put him to dry in the kennel. Every Day - Mila was in miss-matched clothes. ??? So my question is, why ask for directions or leave directions if they're going to be ignored?
Anyway, the day was slow because we had to wait on the approval from the pediatrician for Nayelli to be discharged, and from my OB for me to be released. I honestly did not mind waiting. First, I wanted to make sure we got everything packed that we needed - our own stuff, plus the diapers and extras from the hospital. And second, if we were paying for the stay then I was getting lunch on the house!

Welcome Home!

And then we were home. Vero and the boys ended up coming over. THAT was exhausting. I thought it would be a 10-minute to 30-minute visit... they stayed for an entire movie. I slept through most of it with Nayelli resting on my shoulder. Sorry, sister. I'm not a very good host coming fresh out of the hospital... Good thing is, she didn't expect me to be. And the kids had their cousins to burn off some energy.

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