Roller Coaster of June

I said I would do a two-parter and never got to it...
June 2016 has been a full month. It's been a crazy roller coaster. Sometimes life's like that.
The Monday after returning from our family trip I got a call from Dad; he was on the way to the hospital because Grandma wasn't breathing. I'd been expecting and prepping myself for this for a while (Grandma had multiple cancers for 12 years), but nothing can really prepare you. And no matter how much I thought I was ready, I wasn't ready for it at THIS time. Over the week it was a mixture of emotions. Luke's birthday sleepover was cancelled, but we made it work anyway. Camp was coming up. Offered to help Dad shop for funeral clothes. A constant back and forth.

In Aldo's words... "Grandma would've liked the funeral service." Whenever I go to funerals it brings up thoughts of what I would like mine to be like. If it's hot, make that thing as quick as possible. Tell some funny stories. I'm sure somebody has one. (Aldo and Maecy diving in the frozen pond after the ducks never gets old. Or the time when Aldo almost got the "stuck egg" unstuck. I know they're not really stories of me per se, but who cares... They make ME laugh.) I enjoy games. Cards specifically. The kind of cards that make you think, but I know that there's some personalities out there that can't sit still through the rules alone. Especially if Aldo's the one explaining them. So, play some cards and that would do.

For Luke's birthday we set up a fort, hanging from the wall. He'd been wanting another "fort night" for a while and it just happened to have worked out. We (I) decorated the living room with draping streamers that had cut outs of leaves attached. Green balloons hung around with dollar bills coming off of them. It was a weird green jungle in our living room. We rented Zootopia and had zebra cakes, popcorn, root beer, animal crackers, etc. to go along with the jungle theme. And a fantastic breakfast made out of donuts, whipped cream and strawberries. I love cohesiveness by the way. The movie had animal cops in it - donuts went right along. Sorry for the misrepresentation if you are a cop reading this. Everyone likes donuts I think. For Luke's present we got him a dinosaur robot. Mila gave him a dinosaur (which I should know the name but it's been a while since Luke has quizzed me or since I've read up on them in the dinosaur portion of Luke's encyclopedia...), and it matches the indominous rex... Because it too makes sounds when you move its arms and I think it lights up too. It's the dinosaur with the flaps on the sides of its head that fan out when it gets excited. Luke didn't have that dinosaur yet. ;)
He was completely surprised over and over. He said "it just keeps getting better". Oh my heart.

Now skip forward to camp. We went down on Saturday to prep the sanctuary and rooms, and unload everything. My biggest job was going on a Walmart run. I'm glad I did otherwise I would have been stuck watching, feeling useless and unhelpful. That night we went out to eat... It felt disconnected, or at least I did because I was stuck on the end away from everyone. That's what happens when you have babies. They require all your attention and energy, so it's really hard to carry on a conversation, let alone a conversation that doesn't include kids, and eat too. Food is always cold.
Sunday we went out for breakfast, and then the day was busy, busy, busy again. It felt like 2 o'clock (when the staff showed up) and then 5 o'clock came all too soon. I don't know how but for the rest of camp, I was always busy with something during the meals, so I wouldn't be able to eat until hours later. Or food would go half eaten and then hours later I would pick up wherever I left off. Registration (and this is supposed to be "my baby") went as smooth as ever. Meaning it didn't. Registration is never smooth. There's always something. This year it felt like it was confusing and hectic. Maybe that was just me because I was juggling a baby at the same time. And I have no idea if people paid. My inner organizer thinks there has to be a better process.
The first session was perfect. Mila wasn't a disturbance, she sang with the music and watched from the back. The merch table had a handle on things. It was all good. Then during prayer Aldo took Mila and I was able to pray over two girls. The first one was a confirmation over a girl. And the second was just kind of like a blessing-ish thing over another girl. I remember praying for dreams and visions over her. Both I prayed in tongues. The new thing this year was the After Party, but it was too late for me and for Mila, so we party pooped out and went to bed early. I heard they had fun doing the cha-cha, macarina, maybe the cupid shuffle, and hitting the quan. (Ask me about all about thee dance moves...... I know nothing. I used to be in once upon a time. There are times I miss dance; these are the only times.)
That night I had a dream. It was about how I got this weird call for help on my phone and I searched up and down the streets for this person. I ran into her at the post office and said, "I've been looking everywhere for you." She confessed to me that it was her calling for help but not for her; she called for her brother who was abused because he liked to dress up like a girl. Then I sensed (I can't remember if I ever saw them) that the parents were "Christians". So on the outside it looked like a perfect family, but on the inside there was a lot going on. I woke up shaken. My heart broke for the girl and her brother. And I remember asking God - what do you want me to do with this? And He brought me to the story of the woman brought before Jesus by the Pharisees who was caught in adultery. He said, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone". And later, "where are your accusers? Then neither I will accuse you. Go and sin no more." It was awesome to have that shown to me so deeply. I realized that there are two types of sins: the kind that you can blatantly see and the kind that are hidden. The boy in the dream was confused. I don't know if he sinned or not, but the parents were embarrassed because what he was doing was out in the open. It was crazy! And I remember feeling so hard for the boy. He was tall and his face was expressionless. Like he couldn't feel any more. The sister tried to remain strong for him. Anyway, a bit later I was thinking, and a name popped in my head. Of one of the students. I was worried about her. Is she the one that is dealing with abuse at home and hasn't come forward? So I went to Miss C that morning during breakfast.
Later were the workshops. I was unsure if I was supposed to be in the older girls' workshop or not. They left my name off the schedule, but it seemed as though they wanted me up there for prayer and as another woman minister, and what if... especially after a dream like that. However, Mila got us kicked out. I stepped out during worship because she was a little loud and went back in for the speaking. I was just telling Kari that if she got too rowdy, tell me, when Miss C came over. I was devastated. I didn't know where to go. I thought I should take a nap on it maybe.... So I went back to the room. Mila slept a tiny bit. I lay there trying to get over what happened. I came to the conclusion that I might be heartbroken, but I was positive that Miss C was also heartbroken. The whole situation just stinks. It took a while to get over; I almost broke out in tears when Anna came over during dodgeball signup and then in front of a male counselor who I didn't know.
Much of the rest of camp is a blur. I was able to go to all of the worship parts of each session, but not the sessions themselves. I missed out on Angela Gazaway's preaching where she simply had kids and adults look into a mirror and tell their pain to go away. I missed out on the other church's drama. I missed out on Pastor Steve's teaching - I can't even tell you what it was. I missed out on Miss C and Pastor T talking about baptism. During those times I either took Mila back to the room to play or sleep, prayed for what felt like forever in the waiting area below the sanctuary, or went to the dining hall. One of the times in the dining hall, all of the kitchen ladies were just enraptured by Mila. It was after one of the hard times. After not being able to go to any of the services, I was frustrated with Mila particularly and seriously questioning whether or not I belonged at camp at all. (Let me backtrack real quick. I can't remember when, but there was an end of a service that I was able to catch where they called the ministers up. I told Kari to go up while I watched the merchandise table. I couldn't even sit there so I had to ask Shane to take over for me. Later I saw Shane, so I have no idea who took over the table. And there were times when I left Mila's snacks in one place and bottle in another and diapers and wipes in another. It felt like Mila and I had taken over camp with our stuff and anywhere you went you couldn't escape. The dining hall had her car seat in one place, her jumper in another, and her stroller in another. I kept asking myself why were they even in there when she wouldn't sit in them for more than 10 minutes. The stroller was only a storage spot for random junk the entire camp. Why take up the space?) And that same question came to my mind as well. Am I just taking up space? Why am I here? But I had to fog that question out with the fact that I had mentioned that earlier on during the planning process and they said they wanted me there. That alone kept me strong. So as I was keeping it together in the dining hall, Sheri Smith, Sheri Baptist, and Patty Bradshaw encouraged me with simple things. They took Mila and told her how wonderful she was. They gave me spoonfuls of peanut butter to feed her, a piece of red licorice, and for myself a bowl of fruit cocktail. I'm one to wear my feelings on my face. It's hard to hide how I feel. So I'm sure they could tell I was frustrated and worn out. They told me I was a good mother. (I could cry now typing this.) Then they went back to work. I sat with Mila and watched her enjoy all this food. Then she tried to share her peanut butter covered licorice with me. It was cute. Her jamming it down my throat, sharing her sweets. Then she accidentally dropped it in my fruit cocktail. So as she was grabbing it out, she realized ooh, what's my hand dipped into now? And started swirling her hand around in my fruit cocktail. It's funny how babies question whether or not something is edible. Or how they explore new things. She started eating the fruit cocktail with her hands, and when she was done with that proceeded to feed it to me. She thought me sucking it from her hands was hilarious. It kept her entertained because I ate two bowlfuls.
I had to give up blowing the horn for Camp Wars. But that's ok - I had my own walkie that I kept for all of camp and I was able to use the buzzer on it to let everyone know when each round ended and began. The kids loved coming over for break and oggling over Mila. They loved sharing their Camp Wars gear with her - letting her wear their color beads, head bands, tiaras, etc. And she would give out "kisses" freely. I claimed that I was getting "sloppy 35ths", although it was much more than that.
Sorry I'm going out of order. The day after the first dream, after the workshops, Miss C called me to come with her. I thought I was going to get reprimanded or an apology, but I didn't. She called me over because the girl I had a dream about had locked herself in the bathroom after throwing an enormous fit/rage and was in there crying and scaring the rest of the room. After sending the core leaders and group to swim for a free time, we talked with her a bit and found out that she had been texted someone and they told her to "go die". That's why she was upset. She also has "a glow" that comes over her when she gets mad. And has nightmares. And changes her name every so often because she doesn't like her original name. And she remembers one of her past lives. There was a lot of off the wall stuff. But I was able to talk to her and tell her I had a dream about her. And I asked her if she was abused and she said no. Afterward, Miss C walked with me and told me that she shows all the signs of abuse, but whatever we just did was beneficial because now she is open to talk to us. Even if not at camp, there's an open communication there where she can come to us in the future. The night following I had another dream, except a nightmare. It was about all of the things she said she had nightmares about. And it stirred me up because I asked God, why He would give me a dream like that? But He answered with - "Every good and perfect thing is from above" (James 1:17). I realized that God hadn't given me that nightmare. But it coincided so perfectly so it messed with me. I had to get my mind off of these thoughts, so I switched it up to "Whatever is pure... whatever is lovely... think on these things" (Philippians 4:8). And then I woke up Aldo to partner with me in it and also ask what he thought. We ended up praying over camp and whatever schemes the devil had for it, and then sharing it with Pastor T and Miss C. They told me later that it's difficult to be an intercessor, even when the Lord calls you out for one specific person, because it drains you. So now I knew my purpose for camp, if anything at all. And that's what I clung onto for the rest of camp.
I wanted to be at baptism so bad. But I had learned that God was opening doors and closing doors, literally, all of camp. I make plans, but he leads my steps. (Check out Proverbs 16:9) God is in control. And it's hard when I like being in control. So for baptism I had asked several people if they would watch Mila. They either backed out or it wouldn't work. It was easy for me to see that I was only going to be down at baptism if God was going to make the way. I watched from the balcony for a bit while Mila slept in my arms, and then from the dining hall window when she woke up. I put her in the jumper and turned around and fed her snacks, a constant back and forth, back and forth. She eventually got tired of that so I just held her. And I said in my mind - Lord, if you want me down there, you're going to have to send the person. I'm not going around asking. As people were dwindling by the pool, kids were no longer being baptized but leaders now, I remained calm. I knew that there was still time for God to send the person. And He did. Dez came in and asked if she could hold Mila. I jumped at the chance and went down to the pool. But then when I got there, I felt like I was pacing the pool, waiting for God to let me in. Waiting for the "go ahead" from a leader, or Aldo, or someone. I kept looking at Aldo because he always says that I beat him to it (to baptism). So this time I was going to let him beat me, even if I had already decided that I would like to be baptized. He wasn't budging. And I realized that he wasn't going to without a push. So I was directed by the Holy Spirit to go pray for him. I b-lined it and just started praying for him. I thought it was a good prayer at the time. I don't know if others heard, and Aldo revealed to me later that his spirit man was in a funk at the time, so I can just go by what I thought - that it was powerful. And Aldo decided he needed baptized. But it wasn't what I thought. So we all surrounded him, and I prayed for him. Others were like - dang! But I don't know what was going on... my eyes were closed. And then Aldo told us that he was letting go of pain after our friend Danny had died.
Then I was ready to be baptized. But it seemed everyone else wanted to go. So I waited. I didn't mind being last. (Matthew 19:30) Finally, I said I was ready. I was letting go of control. This entire camp was for me open and closed doors... me making my plans, but God directing my steps... God's provision... and my prayer was honestly "not my will, but Your will" and making that truth. And I wasn't tired of trying to keep it together. After that first dream, God showed me how he felt about the LGBT community. "I have been searching for you everywhere." And the story of John 8. So we all sin. We all fall short. Don't think you are better because you sin in secret. And so I was letting go of misconceptions. And another thing I had put off for a while was my questioning the Christian song about "Wine". There are people that think wine is distasteful and shouldn't be associated with God. At all. I was letting go of these things. And I said that I wanted to be childish for God. I wanted to let go of all of these things. And I wanted to taste His wine. I'm not really into the flavor down here on earth, but I'm sure God's is good. (Luke 18:15-17)
Miss C came over to pray for me I guess. And she said that angels were around the pool and asked me to look for them. I couldn't really see anything. But I "imagined" or maybe I did see - I'm not really sure... I'm not going to double-guess myself or the Lord... - I saw two wings. They were white-ish. There was lightning coming up and down them. And there were rainbows coming out. I can't explain it. Then my ears started to go numb. And then my hands. And I wasn't sure what to do with them. And I don't know what was going on around me. Were people laughing at me? Did they think I was drunk with the Spirit? I talked with Aldo later and he said that when I started speaking in tongues Miss C had backed away from me. I ended up getting baptized finally. Dunked twice because they didn't dip me all the way. And after me, Miss C got baptized. Which I didn't know she had never gotten baptized before at Awaken Camp! Her legs locked up. It was so funny. And I guess she was drunk/tipsy for the next hour or so and still at the testimony service.
All in all Awaken Camp was amazing. As much as the struggle was, God revealed things to me in that and through that. I pray I grow as next camp approaches, and that He continues to reveal things and speak to me like never before. And that I listen. And obey.

Family Trip to Branson, MO

I am going to do this entry for the day in two parts because so much has happened…

June 8-11, 2016
Our Trip to Branson - (10 Months)

Wednesday morning we woke up early, behind schedule as our family usually is (but not on MY part), to head off on our trip, all packed in my mom's blue Durango. Luke and I had been double checking and triple checking bags for days. I think we overpacked. But better safe than sorry. We met up with Maecy and Juan at their apartment, and they were behind schedule too. (I actually think they had just packed that morning! That's something I could never do… I am a planner at heart.) The drive down wasn't bad - Luke watched "Blank Check", I read my book club book written in the voice of a kid with autism doing detective work like his personal hero Sherlock Holmes over a neighborhood dog that was murdered, Aldo was probably bored, and we all did a Mad Libs that was really drawn out. Mila was terrific and slept for a good portion of the drive.

We stopped at Lambert's, Home of the Throwed Rolls. Delicious! I should've known then that the trip would be a little difficult, but I'm an optimistic. Or try to be at least. … I have my moments… Lambert's is just a place that you HAVE to stop at when you go to Branson. It's like a right of passage, or approval to continue on the rest of your vacation. You order your food, but random waiters and waitresses pass by with sides that you can try like fried potatoes and okra, and macaroni and tomatoes (NOT Aldo's favorite). Mila loved the chicken and dumplings I ordered. I filled myself up on buttered rolls though. My stomach was miserably happy. Luke shared livers and gizzards with Grammy - it's their thing. Maecy also had chicken and dumplings, but I don't know if she got to eat much because she was taking care of Mateo every time I looked over. Juan didn't like his chicken fried chicken. He said it was like meatloaf. ((I'm confused. How is chicken fried chicken like meatloaf? Did he order the wrong thing? And who doesn't like chicken fried chicken? You must not be American. Oh wait… ;-D ))

The condo that we upgraded to was nice, but not at all what I expected. I kind of expected a little more extravagant… almost like a cabin with a large living space and kitchen, with three rooms branching off each with their own bathroom and jacuzzi. That's how they explained it. Well, it's not like that. The condo was like three nicer hotel rooms connected. Ours was the middle one and had a large kitchen and  large living room/dining room, a small laundry closet, a small bathroom, and another toilet room in our bedroom and a jacuzzi. Maecy and Juan picked the one I would have preferred, it had a smaller living space and small kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom with jacuzzi. Mom and Luke got stuck with the side that didn't have a jacuzzi, or any flatscreen TVs. Just the ol' tube television.

From what I'm saying, you probably understand that this is one of the only trips that I will ever go on again with my extended family. I've learned that you just can't please everyone. Not everyone likes the same things. Not everyone thinks alike.

That night Maecy and Juan decided to go to Cherry Berry (same thing as Sweet Frog), a yogurt place, and then to a martial arts show called "Legend of Kung Fu - The Return of the Dragon". The show wasn't bad. It wasn't great. It's also not your typical Branson show to see either. Luke got a broken steel rod from it though, and a cheapy wire bike thing, and a picture for memory's sake. Later that night Maecy and Juan bought pizza.

Day 1 - "Legend of Kung Fu"

I figured for this trip we had 4 days, so each of us would be able to pick ONE thing that we wanted to do, and we'd be able to do it easily. Mom's choice was "Ride the Ducks". We decided that Thursday morning before Silver Dollar City was our best shot. Siri, the phone character who is supposed to give perfect directions, got us lost and we were an hour or so late getting started. But, we ended up having the best time! Captain Crunch was making jokes with tidbits of history thrown in and shout outs to nearby must-see shows. We loved it. It was one of the highlights of the trip! I would definitely recommend it. Although, it's not really geared toward Luke's age…

Day 2 - "Ride the Ducks"

Afterward we went to Silver Dollar City. We arrived at around lunch time, and we were at the exact location of the restaurants with the moving tables. Another unwritten right of passage. Because we had chicken the day prior, BBQ was our only other option, and of course it was at the restaurant below ground with the longer wait and the table that was taken right before we got to the buffet. I thought everyone was alright sitting down and eating, until we got outside again. Maybe it was the heat?? Maybe they were tired of American cooking / potatoes?? I don't know. My attitude went sour though. One of my pet peeves is when people don't listen and it feels like I'm talking to a wall. Or they can't make a decision so we're stuck in one spot wasting time and energy. I want to move. That's what we're there for. Let's find something to look at, ride something, or split up since everyone can't be happy. Eventually we made it to the first ride. It didn't occur to me until we were in line that Luke had never ridden a roller coaster before. I imagined it was like watching a scary movie for the first time, like Jurassic World. If he got scared, he could hold my hand. That's not how it was. It wound around and whirled, it went up and down, it went fast! At the end he said he never wanted to ride it again. I realized he had never ridden a big roller coaster before. And he probably actually feared for his life! Maybe I didn't prepare him enough. Oops. Somehow we convinced him to go again with Aldo. Well then we decided maybe we should go to the kiddie coaster. He was still scared and hid his face. Other rides to mention are: the wet ride similar to The Nile at Worlds of Fun (Luke loved, but the wait was over an hour and miserable in the heat), Fire in the Hole (Mom, Maecy and I thought it would be exciting because of the train coming straight at us, but the only exciting part was the water splashed in our faces. Is that new? I remember screaming because of the train…), and the other wet ride in the log. Luke's face was priceless.

Day 2 - "Silver Dollar City"

That night we had already purchased tickets for the Dixie Stampede. It's one of my favorite shows I have ever been to. I remember a more escalated rivalry (political) between the North and South, but I know they change the show with every season. It was still good. The food is AMAZING. What irked me most is that a certain person in our party didn't even try the food. After it was paid for. I'm going to rant for a second: if someone offers you something or already buys you something, I don't care who you think you are or how sick you are of it - you at least try it. Make an effort! The soup was on point. It's like the soup of my life I think. And I'm not particularly in love with soup. So and so missed out.

The day completely wore us out, and emotions were high. The next day we decided to take it easy. It was easier than what I would have chosen… Maecy and Juan picked Mexican food for lunch. (As Aldo would say… "You don't go to China and complain about all the Chinese food." He meant that when you go somewhere, you stick to the local cuisine.) Luke had been wanting to swim since the pools had opened, so we went down to the pool. The water was freezing. All the kids enjoyed it though, shivering all the way. I was uncomfortably cold and mom was by herself. I asked if Mom and Maecy wanted to go to the downtown store for fudge while the guys continued to swim. We agreed. Well, plans changed and changed and changed and changed. We ended up going to The Fudgery and buying about 5 pounds of different flavored fudge. Then going to the Track because Aldo and Juan wanted to ride in the go-carts. Except that it wasn't the right track for Juan. So Maecy and Juan walked across the street to shop while the rest of us stayed at the Track. When they came back they said the stores were closed, and somehow some way, we all drove a go-cart that night. And we all had a good time. I don't know if 100% of us will admit we had a good time, but I know all of us were smiling.

Day 3 - "The Track"

Our final day we drove back up to Silver Dollar City. It was still hot, and busier than the other day we came. Maecy and Juan ended up leaving early because Mateo was showing signs of a temperature. (Or that's what they say.) All in all it was probably good that they left when they did, because I don't think they would have enjoyed another minute being there - Maecy had ridden a few rides, gotten a headache, and Juan was stuck alone watching the kids. After they left, we went on the Nile ride again for Luke and ended with the largest ride Outlaw Run. Before heading home, we stopped at the 5 & 10 (Five and Dime) to buy some souvenirs. You know how the drive home is usually faster than the drive leaving for your trip? It wasn't like that. The drive home seemed longer. Mila was cranky and tired of being in the car seat. My feet were crushed by bags and at a weird angle. And it was dark so there wasn't anything I could read, and Luke took over my phone. Aldo wanted to listen to music, but mom selected Celtic opera Celine Dion-comparable junk that annoyed me.

Family knows just how to get under your skin. But it's not funny.

 

Day 4 - "Silver Dollar City Again" 

Luke bought ostrich jerky with his spending money.

I've had time to think it over. Was I harsh in my judgements? No, not at all. Will a trip like this ever happen again? I hope not. Nothing is interrupting/overtaking a family trip that Aldo and I planned out ever again. To turn this into a positive - I'm deeply grateful and thankful for my family (Aldo, Luke and Mila). They are seriously THE BEST.

Summer Days Driftin' Away...

Almost 10 Months

I absolutely love summer. The weather, the sleeping in, the possibility of big breakfasts, the grilling out, the open schedule, the outdoor activities (picnics, spots, shopping, etc.), the longer days, and the swimming when I finally decide to do it. I would consider yesterday our first day of running with our summer schedule. Luke and I woke up around 9am while Daddy went to work and Mila slept. He watched two movies, then I told him he needed to do some schoolwork before anything else. I bought him these workbooks so he wouldn't get lazy over the summer. We did the page that talked about President George Washington. I've also introduced Mad Libs to him, so without knowing it, he's learning the different parts of speech. Smart mama. Grammy was visiting friends in Tennessee, so we picked her up from the car rental place in the afternoon (after playing outside for an hour practicing soccer... Luke of course won) and went to our On Pointe classes before coming home. Also, we've been taking care of Grammy's animals while she's been away, and the last day, she had a baby chic hatch. We set up the box and heat lamp, water and food, and have been keeping a close eye on the little guy.

Today was more productive. Before we go on our trip to Branson, I told Aldo I wanted the house clean and laundry done so we had clothes to pack. Luke already had his "What to Pack" list made up... This morning Aldo cleaned out the fridge, took out the trash, and did all the dishes. I cleaned the living room, did laundry, cleared the dining table, and made lunch. Now all I have to worry about is upkeep. Eventually I'd like to shampoo the carpet (which wasn't done before we brought Mila home from the hospital) and go through our closets and drawers (especially Mila and Luke's). Maybe I'll find the Driver's License, credit card, insurance cards, and social security cards that I lost??? With Mila being a little more independent, it'll be easier to keep a sort of "House Rules" or summer schedule. I'm thinking of things like: Fold laundry out of dryer, keep sink clean of dishes, before playing on Mommy's phone must do a page or two of schoolwork, in bed by 9:30 or 10 (adults laying down at 11:30). I didn't say it earlier (because I don't want to be bummed if it doesn't work out) but I'd like to also work out a little bit in the mornings. It's my one time to get anything done for me. Both kids are asleep, and Aldo too... So I could wake up, work out, read/study, computer work, clean house, shower. And have fun the rest of the day, and focus on Luke and Mila while Aldo is at work.

As for Mila, I think she'll do wonderfully on our trip. She says "Mama" and "Dada", although Dada is more of any boy and her go-to gibberish word. She'll let other people hold her and even watch her in short spurts of time. She'll let you know when she's hungry with sign language (the correct one, by doing the hand gesture for "please" by her mouth). She'll shake her head "no". It's a matter of time before she starts saying it. She'll play Patty Cake. She eats grown up food!!! Her favorites are mashed potatoes or French fries, straight up avocado, seasoned meat (carne asada), bananas, apple sauce, jello, baby pudding, and baby snack puffs. One of the biggest successes is that she's been taking semi-regular naps. I say semi-regular because it depends on what time she lays down. But around 4 o'clock I can count on a two hour nap. And when she wakes up, she doesn't go toward the edge of the bed. She's such a happy waker-upper. Generally speaking. She's a girl, so she has her  days. We're in the fun stages though!! I'm reading to her and trying new things like Hide and Seek, letter magnets that go on the fridge, more bath time, and other stuff. Hopefully there's a pool at our hotel in Branson.  I wonder if she's a water baby too...

Quick Post

41 Weeks, 1 Day / 9.5 Months / 0.79 Years

I don't have too much to update on. These past few weeks have been rainy and, sorry to say, boring. The most exciting things have been... picking up donations for camp, grocery shopping, and killing the ants that have been eating away at the candy cane decor (which are right above our shelves of DVDs, so they're going in and out of the library's movies...). Ew and oops.
Aldo has been busy at work, growing out his mustache. First time since we've been married. When he asked me about it I told him to "go big or go home" so he's got a soul patch and small beard as well. The beard has a bald splice in the middle to where he could possibly dress like a pirate (braid it in two pieces) and get away with it. Come Memorial Day, it's all going away though. I'll tell you this, I don't mind the soul patch. I'm not very aware of men's fashion/style/etc. so I don't know if it's socially acceptable to have just a soul patch. ??

Luke's last day of school is tomorrow. Then he'll be a first grader. I don't know how I feel about it. I liked him being in Kindergarten. I find older children annoying... You know, when they grow out of the cute phase and into the "know too much" phase... "think they're adults" phase. I just don't want him to be annoying. And he's not right now. He's helpful and sweet and still adorable.

Nightmare of a Day

8 Months, Going on 9... (37.5 Weeks Old)

This has been a day. Actually a week. I thought I'd give you a little taste of life at home now.
Yesterday Aldo and I did nothing all morning (meaning we watched tv and held Mila) because I had to go into work at 3. Well, just because Aldo was being nice, scooting on the couch closer beside him I pointed to my shoulder and asked him to massage it. It wasn't necessarily hurting, but it could use a little love and attention. He didn't do much; not what I wanted him to do anyways, and so a few minutes later I got in the shower and ready to go to work.
When I got out of the shower, it felt like I got a crick in my neck! (And that my dears is why you are supposed to drink water…) There wasn't any issue before though, so why would it do this now? The rest of the night at the library my neck gradually grew more sore to where I couldn't move it, couldn't bend over because that strained it, and couldn't cough even.

So this morning I'm hoping the crick is gone. It's not. Mila still likes to be held. I was dreading holding her, not because I didn't want to… I just didn't want the neck pain. Mila ended up waking up at 7:00 am! Before Luke even LEFT for school! She usually wakes up around 10. Sometimes 12. I guess the sleep schedule is changing again. Ugh. So instead of having a quiet morning, I had to shuffle things, and make it work so I could finish the newsletter, clean the living room, have some quiet time, and still watch her and feed her. I had to pick up Luke's eye patch from the eye doctor (that we've been waiting on for months… and I'm not exaggerating). I had to cash a check today for Aldo so that he has his spending money (and I haven't even gotten my "blow money" in cash this month). And I had to get groceries because I'm out of cereal and almost milk and almost diapers (don't want to run out of those for sure) and baby food. BUT, of course, the other day I went on a field trip with Luke to the Sea Life Aquarium by Crown Center. We had a fun time and by the end I was exhausted. So that I wouldn't have to carry around a purse, etc. I decided to just put my credit card, ID, and health info all in my back pocket in the little insurance holder I keep everything in… and this morning couldn't find it. I distinctly remember it on the green chair, but also in the laundry room on the dryer, and a time when Mila was digging through stuff and I caught her with it, took it away and put it somewhere. So I couldn't find it. How am I going to pay for groceries? I called, and they said they accept checks. Whew, I thought, I can still get some work done, come back and find my cards later. I go shopping. I probably spend 30 minutes to an hour looking at Mother's Day cards only to NOT find anything that describes mom or our relationship, or her taste (sorry that hot pink zebra stripe/cheetah print will not work!) and since she works at Hallmark, I have this inner desire and conviction that I have to pick out the right card. I get the rest of my groceries, and by the end there, Mila is getting fussy and ready to go, so I cut the list short and go to purchase my cart-ful of items.
Checks require an ID. I don't have my ID. Thank goodness I have my ATM card. And thank goodness there's money in the bank. Oh my gosh, what a hassle. So I stood there like a dummy entering and re-entering my 4-digit passcode trying to get money out and it continued to say there's an error. After the 7th or 8th time, I figure out that I don't have a checking account and maybe I should select "savings". Error. Ok, try the numbers flipped. Finally, it works! Hallelujah! I barely bought anything and it cost $128. By that time, I was almost like - forget it. It's the end of the month and I'm spending this much on milk and bread? (No meat in the basket?) That's ridiculous!

For the rest of the afternoon I've been looking for this stupid card packet. It's not in the green chair. Not in the new couch. Not in the Franken-couch. Not in the laundry room. Not in my pockets, purses, library bag, dresser, clothes pile… where did it go?

Mila likes to pull stuff out of her diaper bag and out of my purse, and today she kindly helped me by emptying out one of the grocery bags. (There's a trail, showing where she's been.) Right now the dishes are clean, so I'm thinking it's about time for me to get my life together….!
And to start - let's catch up on some blogging, some likes/dislikes, some pictures!!

• Dad (PaPa) came over to visit - Mila still takes a while to warm up to him - and he mentioned that when I was little, I liked to climb up his belly to his neck and shoulders. Literally, the very next day, Mila started doing the same thing. She loves to walk up my belly to my shoulders and jump on my neck. It doesn't help the crick. It's the cutest thing though when her smile is from ear to ear and you see her big "toofers" popping out because her feet are in your face.
• Mila eats baby food now. Stage 2: Sitter. Even though she's crawling and pulling up, she likes Stage 2 best, too many chunks to gag on in the Stage 3, and Stage 1 is too soupy. Best flavors are in Stage 2 also. She likes the "calm" fruity things (apples, pears, bananas, sweet potato). But, she enjoys a little cinnamon added. Or a sip from my Gatorade or Horchata. (Now that I think about it, I'm not as stickler about things with her as I was with Luke. Darn! I said I wouldn't be THAT parent. The one that lets the second child get away with everything and is more harsh on the first and expects more out of the first… They're the first child - how are they supposed to know what to do?! They don't have an older example! …rant over.) Macaroni and cheese flavor is out of the question. And so is anything green. Hey, and can finally suck on those first baby cereal snacks without choking! But if she gets two or more in her mouth, she'll gag. Lesson learned. 
• I got her this cow toy that you can put balls in. She likes the balls. She likes blocks. She likes things that shake, light up, make noise, or shine. She likes bracelets. She likes brushes (hair or tooth). She looooooves remotes. She likes anything that I want and say she can't have.
• She can pull up on things and she's beginning to walk along the couch, etc. It won't be long until she's walking on her own. 
• She recognizes Elmo. She recognizes Peppa Pig.
• She knows sign language!! She's been tugging on her shirts for the longest time and finally we got it… she's saying please!!! I thought she had it switched with "ta da", but she didn't. She was doing the tug without me knowing. Momma wasn't getting it. Aldo figured it out the other day. So for future reference, when you teach your child something, the next step is to be aware when they use it!
• We're still working on the sleeping in her crib and out of a bottle. And teaching her "no" or "ouch" means stop what she's doing. And also, "night night" or "lay down" because lately she's been staying up wayyy past what a little baby should. We get in bed and instantly she wants to crawl around, blow on mommy's belly, look adorable in front of daddy, look at the touch light between our headboard, and climb around the headboard. Being sick these last few days has put a hiccup in our weaning off of mommy and out of our bed. First, I am exhausted. Second, Mucinex lowers your milk supply, as well as do a lot of other things. I'm trying to stay away from formula… it's just so expensive. And if I have the milk supply… well then, I guess I can bear the bites a bit longer.

The whole urgency for sleeping in a crib and going to bottle is because in June we have the Awaken Camp with the church youth again. And this year they want me to come even though I'll have Mila. (They're breaking their "no kids" rule for me!) And even though I'll be completely distracted with her and won't be able to do much. I don't know if they understand how clingy to momma she is…

Speaking of clingyness - She is still clingy, but she'll go to a few people. Amber Springer during our On Pointe classes on Tuesday nights. It was an easy thing to do. Probably because she's in the nursery with all the toys and Luke is in there too. Sheri Smith. I have no idea why. Ricky Skaggs. These last few times at Bible study he's held her and she just stares at him. (He is a bit strange, isn't he? Ha!) And there are people she hasn't warmed up to yet, that you think she would… Maecy and Ember for instance. 

And here are some major pictures I have missed.

Big Girl's First Bath

Mateo Came to Visit!

Early April - We Like to Watch Brother Play Soccer

Go Great White Sharks! Go #2! (P.S. Spring Soccer is freezing)

Happy Easter!

* Favorite: April - First Teeth on Top *

(Middle Right, Gap, Next to Middle Left)

On/Off Schedule

I could pull my hair out.. Thank goodness it's the end of the day. This morning we slept in a little; Luke's game wasn't until noon but he had pictures so he did have to look good-ish. I woke up at 8 and started on drying the laundry and washing some dishes. We've run out of bowls and spoons and pans and pots so many times... I hate dishes. I'd really like to just go buy more bowls and silverware, but I know if I did that then out dirty pile would become a mound and start molding if it hasn't already. Anyway, Luke had a pretty good game (he had a nice save as goalie, laying down to block the ball, and even though they lost 6-3, he didn't seem disappointed or wanting to give up completely). Note to self for future kids: spring sports that are outside are going to be cold. I use my Mommy wrap thing and snuggle her in there and then wear one of Aldo's jackets and zip us up together. We look weird I'm sure, but at least she's warm. I hope. Luke went with Grammy and Mila and I headed home.

She fell asleep in the car seat (I should've done something productive now that I think about it) and so I played Cooking Fever on my phone, waiting forever for Luke to come home. When he didn't and Mila had finally woken up, I took her out and let her play with her basket of toys while I watched an episode of Falling Skies. By the end, I had layed down, across our new couch, telling myself I can't fall asleep because Mila can't be alone without someone watching her constantly. She pulls on cords, she eats paper, she'll crawl under tables and get stuck, she pull up things and get stuck because she'll bop her head if she falls down. I ended up falling asleep. When I closed my eyes I know she was playing with the microphoned robot that's out of batteries on one side of her car seat, when I snapped awake realizing what I had done, she was on the other side of the car seat. Did I only snooze for 15 minutes, was it an hour? I don't know because it honestly felt like 4 hours. I don't know where the time went.... 

For the rest of the day Mila has been high-pitched yelling at me. Feed me. Change me. Watch me. Entertain me, monkey. You're not getting it. I'm tired. But I don't want to sleep. Figure it out. 

The problem is, she has no set schedule like Luke did. I could tell you within 15 minutes Luke's nap time and eating time, etc. Mila wakes up at noon. Mila wakes 8:00 am. Mila wakes up at 10:00 am. Mila has 3 naps. Mila has no naps. Mila goes right to sleep when we go to bed. Mila wants to stay up and play, look at the light on the wall, play with Daddy, take Mommy's glasses. I know she has some form of schedule there... Maybe right now she's going through a growth spurt or something and so it's changing, but goodness... I would really like to know what it is. 

Success story of the day: tonight putting her in bed was difficult. So I thought, we're going to quiet down and get prepped for this night night time... Make the atmosphere. I out a movie in my computer for us to watch in bed. It was Peppa Pig playing with bubbles. And Mila laughed at it! She giggles and tried to hit the keyboard. Finally! Something she enjoys!!!

As I'm laying here in bed typing this out, I feel wonderful. Dang, I'm a good mom. Pat yourself on the back cause you is awesome!

Mila Unchained

34 Weeks.

I'm not doing very well on my blogging. Let's just say March was utter madness, mainly because we were all sick and it went around in this vicious circle. But we are all better now. No more breathing treatments, no more kleenex boxes, no more pink medicine.

Mila got her third tooth on March 21. It isn't the typical middle one on top, it is one next to the middle one (to her, left side). Days later she got the middle one (right top). Grammy and I were joking that she'll look like a hill billy (Aldo's "I eat dirt" face comes to mind), but yesterday I saw that her other middle tooth is showing, not popped through yet, but showing. She gets on her knees and can inch forward on them, but she's faster army crawling with her left arm strength and left toes pushing. Over the weekend I caught her sitting on her knees looking into her car seat, playing with the seat belts. On Tuesday, I was on the phone with mom for maybe 20 seconds searching for a recipe, I came into the living room and found her STANDING, holding onto her walker. Now she pulls up on it every day. Last night she pulled up on the side of her crib.

Speaking of crib - this is the newest thing we have going on - we're trying to get Mila sleeping in her crib. She has slept with us every night since she was born, and I will admit, I don't mind her sleeping with us, except that eventually she'll need to sleep on her own. And, I believe that the marriage bed is a sacred place. Kids are welcome every now and then, but that time has come to an end for Mila. So, with this change, I have to get her on the bottle. Easier said than done. We've done it for two days and I've found she doesn't have a problem with the bottle or even drinking formula, although you can totally tell by her face that it's not her favorite. (Score for Mommy!) The difficult part is getting her to take a nap or go to bed with the bottle. It's one step at a time. Literally one step. First, we got her used to the bottle rather than me. Then formula. Then sitting in her crib for maybe 5 minutes with me there holding her bottle. She may be scared of the crib, I'm not really sure. Because last night while I was doing my 5 minutes, pushing it type-of-thing, I showed her the big pink paper balls that I hung as decoration from the baby shower. She wouldn't touch them. She would look at them, turn away and shake her head like she had the jitters. I took them down, but when we went back in, she looked for them still, and still shook her head. It was kind of cute, kind of sad that she's already maybe scared of something. I have breastfed every day for 8 months strictly from myself. They say sometimes moms get sad when then stop breast-feeding because it's like the baby no longer depends on you. I can see that. Mila bites, and she bites hard. I'm proud of myself for sticking with it, for continuing to breastfeed when it hurt, for continuing when it seemed tough like my milk was going low during growth spurts, for continuing when my milk was low through sickness. It's not an easy thing. Once you do it, it's like this huge accomplishment. And so it's kind of surreal that it's ending. I'll let you know how it goes. And maybe my body will go back to normal. (You know how when I was pregnant, everything was because I was pregnant? Now that I'm not pregnant, everything is because I'm breastfeeding. Examples: not touchy-feely physically or emotionally, dehydrated, and not on a cycle.)

I looked up the development for 34-week-olds the other day and it said that they'll start reaching up for things, and pulling themselves up. (Mila's ahead of the game.) But it also said that now is the time to start "labeling". They're learning the words, even if they may not speak them right away, they're learning them and remembering them. So you just repeat, repeat, repeat. We were playing with her toys, so I showed her BALL, PUPPY, BOOK, TOYS. She tried to feed me her BALL. It was so cute. I said, "Yum yum" and she kept feeding it to me, like it was play food. Do I remember when Luke used to do that? No. Sad face. I'm also teaching her KISS KISS. I always kiss her on the hand. I don't know why… it's just a thing. She always reaches out her hands wide open to me and so I kiss them I guess. I say, "Mommy kisses Mila's hand. Mommy kisses Mila's feet. Mommy kisses MILA!" and I finish by kissing her on the belly or in the crevices of her neck. She loves when I kiss her. She's been kissing us!! She'll kiss me near the inside of my elbow by falling forward with her mouth open and wait a few seconds and then laugh. Repeat. Slobber seeping out until my arm is covered because she's teething. Oh, my 8-month-old girl - you are adorable.

Her hair lays down. :(

Now for Luke, he is playing with her more and more - more rough too. He really gets her laughing, because he's willing to be loud and do crazy things. Mommy and Daddy aren't that loud. And we don't have the energy to jump up and down from squatting position. Especially for more than 5 minutes.

Luke started soccer at the end of March. He had his first game this past Saturday. He's good about staying in the game, not getting bored. He gets excited though and hops around on the field, galloping on his right side, so it gives away what leg he's going to kick with. And also he'll hesitate before his kick because he wasn't ready because he was galloping! Haha. I remember when Maecy played soccer she would get the ball and laugh, and wouldn't be able to keep it or control it. Luke is actually really good about kicking the ball down the field. During his game he assisted in many attempts at goal. The other thing he does really well, in Aldo's words, is "read the play" - so while every Kindergartener and First grader is in a huddle chasing the ball, he goes where no one else and is at the ready. "It's the mind of a defender." He still needs to work on the position of goalie and also shooting the ball in the goal, but in the that one game, I saw him improve so much. Yes, he let one ball pass him, giving the other team one point, but after that he dove for the ball! He saved two out of three shots. I couldn't be more proud. It was kind of tough because I didn't want him to feel disappointment for that shot - it tied up the game. I could imagine in that moment the other team winning later and him blaming himself. I reminded myself that I would cheer for him and the team the whole game, win or lose. Not let them lose heart. And also, that the point (agreed by other parents and the coach) was for the kids to have fun and learn some soccer basics. We're succeeding in that. Luke will walk around the house with his soccer ball. Whenever the weather is warm…. -ish…. Luke will ask if we can play soccer outside. He loves it! It was just an idea that we wanted him to get involved in a sport, whatever it may be, and he's embraced it. And Mila enjoys watching too! Oh, and I forgot to say, first game score 3-2… we won! And it was freezing! Never. Again.