Mila Unchained

34 Weeks.

I'm not doing very well on my blogging. Let's just say March was utter madness, mainly because we were all sick and it went around in this vicious circle. But we are all better now. No more breathing treatments, no more kleenex boxes, no more pink medicine.

Mila got her third tooth on March 21. It isn't the typical middle one on top, it is one next to the middle one (to her, left side). Days later she got the middle one (right top). Grammy and I were joking that she'll look like a hill billy (Aldo's "I eat dirt" face comes to mind), but yesterday I saw that her other middle tooth is showing, not popped through yet, but showing. She gets on her knees and can inch forward on them, but she's faster army crawling with her left arm strength and left toes pushing. Over the weekend I caught her sitting on her knees looking into her car seat, playing with the seat belts. On Tuesday, I was on the phone with mom for maybe 20 seconds searching for a recipe, I came into the living room and found her STANDING, holding onto her walker. Now she pulls up on it every day. Last night she pulled up on the side of her crib.

Speaking of crib - this is the newest thing we have going on - we're trying to get Mila sleeping in her crib. She has slept with us every night since she was born, and I will admit, I don't mind her sleeping with us, except that eventually she'll need to sleep on her own. And, I believe that the marriage bed is a sacred place. Kids are welcome every now and then, but that time has come to an end for Mila. So, with this change, I have to get her on the bottle. Easier said than done. We've done it for two days and I've found she doesn't have a problem with the bottle or even drinking formula, although you can totally tell by her face that it's not her favorite. (Score for Mommy!) The difficult part is getting her to take a nap or go to bed with the bottle. It's one step at a time. Literally one step. First, we got her used to the bottle rather than me. Then formula. Then sitting in her crib for maybe 5 minutes with me there holding her bottle. She may be scared of the crib, I'm not really sure. Because last night while I was doing my 5 minutes, pushing it type-of-thing, I showed her the big pink paper balls that I hung as decoration from the baby shower. She wouldn't touch them. She would look at them, turn away and shake her head like she had the jitters. I took them down, but when we went back in, she looked for them still, and still shook her head. It was kind of cute, kind of sad that she's already maybe scared of something. I have breastfed every day for 8 months strictly from myself. They say sometimes moms get sad when then stop breast-feeding because it's like the baby no longer depends on you. I can see that. Mila bites, and she bites hard. I'm proud of myself for sticking with it, for continuing to breastfeed when it hurt, for continuing when it seemed tough like my milk was going low during growth spurts, for continuing when my milk was low through sickness. It's not an easy thing. Once you do it, it's like this huge accomplishment. And so it's kind of surreal that it's ending. I'll let you know how it goes. And maybe my body will go back to normal. (You know how when I was pregnant, everything was because I was pregnant? Now that I'm not pregnant, everything is because I'm breastfeeding. Examples: not touchy-feely physically or emotionally, dehydrated, and not on a cycle.)

I looked up the development for 34-week-olds the other day and it said that they'll start reaching up for things, and pulling themselves up. (Mila's ahead of the game.) But it also said that now is the time to start "labeling". They're learning the words, even if they may not speak them right away, they're learning them and remembering them. So you just repeat, repeat, repeat. We were playing with her toys, so I showed her BALL, PUPPY, BOOK, TOYS. She tried to feed me her BALL. It was so cute. I said, "Yum yum" and she kept feeding it to me, like it was play food. Do I remember when Luke used to do that? No. Sad face. I'm also teaching her KISS KISS. I always kiss her on the hand. I don't know why… it's just a thing. She always reaches out her hands wide open to me and so I kiss them I guess. I say, "Mommy kisses Mila's hand. Mommy kisses Mila's feet. Mommy kisses MILA!" and I finish by kissing her on the belly or in the crevices of her neck. She loves when I kiss her. She's been kissing us!! She'll kiss me near the inside of my elbow by falling forward with her mouth open and wait a few seconds and then laugh. Repeat. Slobber seeping out until my arm is covered because she's teething. Oh, my 8-month-old girl - you are adorable.

Her hair lays down. :(

Now for Luke, he is playing with her more and more - more rough too. He really gets her laughing, because he's willing to be loud and do crazy things. Mommy and Daddy aren't that loud. And we don't have the energy to jump up and down from squatting position. Especially for more than 5 minutes.

Luke started soccer at the end of March. He had his first game this past Saturday. He's good about staying in the game, not getting bored. He gets excited though and hops around on the field, galloping on his right side, so it gives away what leg he's going to kick with. And also he'll hesitate before his kick because he wasn't ready because he was galloping! Haha. I remember when Maecy played soccer she would get the ball and laugh, and wouldn't be able to keep it or control it. Luke is actually really good about kicking the ball down the field. During his game he assisted in many attempts at goal. The other thing he does really well, in Aldo's words, is "read the play" - so while every Kindergartener and First grader is in a huddle chasing the ball, he goes where no one else and is at the ready. "It's the mind of a defender." He still needs to work on the position of goalie and also shooting the ball in the goal, but in the that one game, I saw him improve so much. Yes, he let one ball pass him, giving the other team one point, but after that he dove for the ball! He saved two out of three shots. I couldn't be more proud. It was kind of tough because I didn't want him to feel disappointment for that shot - it tied up the game. I could imagine in that moment the other team winning later and him blaming himself. I reminded myself that I would cheer for him and the team the whole game, win or lose. Not let them lose heart. And also, that the point (agreed by other parents and the coach) was for the kids to have fun and learn some soccer basics. We're succeeding in that. Luke will walk around the house with his soccer ball. Whenever the weather is warm…. -ish…. Luke will ask if we can play soccer outside. He loves it! It was just an idea that we wanted him to get involved in a sport, whatever it may be, and he's embraced it. And Mila enjoys watching too! Oh, and I forgot to say, first game score 3-2… we won! And it was freezing! Never. Again.

Don't Turn Around

7 Months!

Can you believe it? Seven months... Where did the baby time go? I thought there were so many stages or markers in this first year. I've been with her this whole time and I feel like I've missed them all! Here's what I have caught:

• She can say "mama" and "dada". She has for a while now and it actually surprised Dr. Riffel at her last appointment when we said she could say "mama" and then near the end made us out to be truth-tellers when she did it right in front of her.
• She can crawl. It started off as a left-arm strong army crawl, but she's using both sides now and even gets up on her knees now and rocks. Grammy and I think she'll be crawling easy by this next weekend.
• She's 17lbs 8oz. I know this because I've been in and out of the doctors' office for three weeks. First for a check up and first portion of her flu shot. Then cough and ear infection. Luke also had a cough and ear infection at the same time (but the doctor didn't catch hers.... Ugh.) Then I took Mila back the next week at the urging of Aldo.. She had an ear infection in both ears. Then this past week I took her for her second portion of the flu shot with a check up because she was still coughing at night with a rattle sound in her chest and goopy eyes. The doctor confirmed what I thought - she had/has a cough that medicine won't help (breathing treatments won't help). It will take weeks for it to go away. She also had an ear infection again. And in showing me how to "massage", which was more of jamming her finger in the eye, her for the tear duct to open, the doctor ended up popping it open and goopy came out. Poor Mila is on medicine for her ear infection, medicine for her goopy eye to clear up finally, and medicine for the side effects that will show up in her diaper. With all that said - why have I never heard of breathing treatments and then now with this generation of kids (Luke, Mila, Asher, Ava) I am?
• Don't turn around.... She rolled off the bed. And on my watch. I felt so bad. I was in the living room and I heard her wake up, never heard her cry... So I took my time going to the bedroom and when I got there she was looking up from me on her belly on the floor. What was strange was that I had blocked the side with the largest pillow we have, so she must have inched her way to the end.
• She cries over small spankins. And then goes on to do it again.
• She no longer spits baby food out. Unless she is adamant about not liking it (prunes, peas, things I would agree are gross). She also clamps her mouth shut if I'm trying to give her something in a medicine dropper or by hand. She's been on so much medication, I don't blame her. But it was funny when I attempted the Easter egg chocolate and she wouldn't have it. I forced it in, and she quickly went after the bag. What have I done?? She still isn't up for the melt away cereal snacks. She'll play with them in her fingers, but hasn't tried to eat them yet. 
• She would rather eat shoe strings. Hoodie strings. TV cords. Pump cords. Key jangles. 
• She still bites once in a while. Yes, she's still mainly breastfed. She'll take a bottle now and it's kind of a must on Thursdays while Aldo is watching her and I'm going into the library for a few hours. I am her preference though. It's kind of an honor. It's a lot tiring. Remember back when everything was related to pregnancy? Now everything is related to breastfeeding: lack of energy, over-eating, toothache, drive, etc.

Today I am letting her sleep on me as I sit in the rocking chair. I look at her lay there with her foot up, her hand stroking back and forth making sure that Mommy's skin is there, sweet closed eyes, a beautiful baby girl. The time will come when she'll drive me crazy (I expect those teen years), but God knew exactly what I needed when He made you, Mila Rose. <3

For Aldo too. He's such a caver when it comes to her. They all warned us- she'll have him wrapped around her little finger. He is so protective. Don't be messing with Daddy's girl.

Luke is as fantastic as ever. He had off last week for spring break. We didn't do anything fancy, but he did have his first soccer practice. They are the Great White Sharks. 

How Does She Do It?

Really? How does she?
The stay-at-home mom. The work-from-home, part-time employee. The church leader. The cook. The cleaner. The baby calmer-downer and baby milk-machine. The teacher. The entertainer. The disciplinarian. The comforter. The encourager. The animal sitter. The chauffeur. The school-activities attendee. The walking schedule/calendar AKA the planner. The mom. The sister. The daughter. The wife. The woman.

This morning I was thinking while I was taking care of the animals about women in the past, growing up on the prairie without a stove (or microwave), without a hot shower, without vehicles. They woke up at the crack of dawn and took care of animals and farm and gardens, then slaved away all day at meals for the family, and taught there gazillion children. I'm like - I've been watching Jerad and mom's animals and I couldn't do this every day forever. And people want to go back to self-sustainable living? That's crazy. I was thinking of an instance if ever I could, and honestly you would have to do it with the entire family. Every member would have to be part and have a job.
Anyway, here's what I've been doing: wake up as early as 6:00 am to go over to Jerad's, break water for four outdoor water troughs (I've thought I've had frostbite several times), feed cats, feed dogs (letting them in and out of barn), giving 1 scoop grain to Jerad's horses and 2 scoops to mom's picky and impatient horse, giving 3-4 flakes (or sections) of hay to each horse, making sure the little horse is eating, making sure each horse has water, and if I water them wrap the hose and faucet in a t-shirt so that the pipes don't freeze as well as preserving any water left in the hose so not to waste it (and by the way, the t-shirt was frozen the first day), then going back home to mom's to take care of Bullet, the two roosters in the garage, the chickens and turkies in the coop, breaking the pond for the horses in the field, taking care of Jenna's brand new guinea pig, and finally watering Luke's one hermit crab that I'm just waiting for to die. I know that sounds cruel, but he honestly needs a warm-blooded animal. These past animals as pets haven't taught him an ounce of responsibility. Anyway, that whole shpeal I've gotten down to about 30-45 minutes. You can give me a pat on the back any time.

So yesterday, just to give you a little more background, I did all the chores, signed Luke up for soccer and made sure bills were paid, visited Stacia, went to Kari's to tutor the girls, worked on church course material, locked up animals, and went to a game night at the church (staying out until midnight). So what did I do today? I got up again to do the chores, cleaned the living room, did laundry, cooked several meals, watched tv with Luke, planned our Branson trip with Luke, worked on  church flyers, browsed Pinterest for new meals, locked up the animals, played with Mila (a lot), made all the family take showers before bed, and blogged. My days are pretty full. And honestly I think if anyone else were in my shoes, they would get so bogged down with "to-do's" and overwhelmed with sticky notes and lists that they couldn't function. So... How does she do it?

And hey, I think Mila is getting her other middle bottom tooth. And she'll also probably crawl sometime this month. She says "mama" distinctly but on her own terms. Eating first foods is going well (more often, but she still sucks it down like she's drinking milk). We're trying to get her to sit by herself, but she still slowly falls over and if she's in the bumbo, she arches her back. I'm trying to teach her the meaning of "ow" or "no", but she just thinks it's funny, which is frustrating when I'm the one getting pinched, hair pulled, bitten in a tender area or hurt in some other way. Other things that are funny: When I blow on her hair, growling, throwing up noises, and Luke in general. She knows Patty Cake. She knows what it means when I say "hungry" and make sucking noises. I know she knows what "no" means, but I think she refuses to respond to it the correct way, as well as when I say her name. It's a hit or miss. I'm trying to teach her "dada" and "Luke" also. They would love that. Actually now that I think of it, Aldo thought she said "no" the other day. I'm trying to teach her sign language for "please" or "more" because it was so helpful and showed good manners when Luke learned it in Nursery. But I think she's gotten it confused with high-fives. Also teaching her "ta-da!" Because wouldn't that be cute after eating her cake at her first birthday? I can now get her to laugh. Bury my face in her ribs and she'll laugh. And now, her feet and underarms are ticklish too. Yay! I have to go, she is growling and forceful grunting/squealing/mumbling and I'm pretty sure when I lay down next to her, she'll pull down my shirt and do her thing. Have you ever read Boss Baby? it might be time for a review... Everything is hers. Everything is on her time. Period and The End.

Friends

These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. I've really appreciated the friends I have, and realized how important maintaining and pouring into the "friend" relationship is.

It started with Dani DeRuse. I was disappointed at a get together Aldo and I went to and later prayed for a God-believing and -following friend to hang out with. Days later Dani called and asked if I wanted to go shopping. Duh?! (Now normally I wouldn't say "yes" because I'm naturally shy and anti/social. It's taken a lot of work to get to where I am. And I definitely wouldn't say "yes" to Dani because first off, she is so dang gorgeous, and second, I wouldn't think she would shop at the same places I would. But for some reason I said "yes".) The timing was right - the  weather was beautiful, we both like the same type of stores, I got my long-needed conversation on, we even bought the clothes we needed. (And I found out later, she was pregnant. And I even mentioned something too! She said it was so hard keeping the secret from me.)

Then, Sunday, January 31st, our friend Danny Cubbage had a stroke. He's was in the hospital for days trying to get brain swelling down. And on February 4th he passed away. Aldo was able to stay at the hospital a lot of the time, whereas I was driving kids or watching kids or getting food. Or awkwardly spending the 3rd celebrating Maecy's 21st birthday (watching babies at the salon while she got her hair done, and also all of us getting manicures).

So it's been up and down. I'm so excited for Dani and you wouldn't believe how timely our visit was. (I was reading a book on Prayer at the time). But then watching the Cubbages and realizing it won't be the same, and how much Danny touched our hearts, and not having prayer answered the way we want has - the words are even now hard to choose - sunken our spirits, like a gut-wrenching feeling. And then having a celebration in the middle of all the chaos was difficult. How do you respond?  No wonder I felt like I hit a brick wall. I might have shut my emotions of, so not to hurt others or be hurt myself. 

And in the middle of all that, Mila got her first tooth. It's the bottom, middle right (when looking at her). She didn't need teething medicine. Didn't sound or look sick. The only things noticeable to me were her wanting to be held (normal), slobbering (normal), chewing on her hand or nipples of bottles or even binky (that's new), and rubbing her ear (sure sign!). Mark your baby book - Mila's first tooth popped through on February 3rd.

5 Month Update

During these past weeks I've been telling myself I need to blog... I need to blog... But honestly I don't know what about because there really hasn't been any major changes. At least with Mila. Not that I've noticed. She's still in our bed. She hasn't tried to crawl. No tooth has popped through. I did get her to laugh a while back because I was growling. Nice. She likes growling. And growling in response. Also, she has tried some First Foods: banana and apple at first. This week we tried sweet potatoes and pears. The sweet potatoes she took a couple of bites with me earlier in the day, but wasn't too hungry. Later, my mom watched her and she ate the entire cup!! Then last night she almost ate the entire thing of pears. Her appetite for whole foods is growing. And its pretty cool that this time around I'm in complete control of when she eats her First Foods, and what they are... I think I was tricked with Luke and didn't get that opportunity. I thought I fed him his first food, but found out later Mama Lily had been feeding him foods for a while.
Mila has stopped rolling over (she still can, but now she just cries). She's super slobbery. Strings of spit are always coming out of her mouth. And now (I don't know if she's sick or teething) her snot is running too. Poor baby. And, she hates having her nose blown.

Crazy Momma & Her Babies

5 Monther

Lazy Days

The more I look at her, the more I see that Mila is not a newborn any more. As I switch positions in the middle of the night, I try to find the newborn we brought home. She's much longer than what she was. She has definitely filled out. Her perception of time (waiting on Mommy to get herself adjusted for a feeding; being on the blanket for tummy time surrounded by stuffed toys, musical toys, and teething toys; and sleeping throughout the day) has changed. And her association of Mommy with "comfort".

My baby cries as we speak. Waiting for Mommy to lay down beside her for the long night. With my arm against the top of her head, sweat forming on my underarm smelling of a mix of skunk and onion, her breathing into my armpit (sounds perfectly relaxing right? <sarcasm>), and the blanket up to her chin - she'll be asleep in no time. She's a cuddler.

I'll resume tomorrow. Maybe with a portion from Aldo. <doe eyes>

------

Ha! She did NOT sleep. We got to the bed and she ate and she stared at me. And grinned. The girl is constantly full of surprises. All week she has been falling asleep around 11 o'clock, right as we are laying down in the bed. And last night she changes up the schedule.

So today has been a lazy day. Sleeping in, catching up on what I missed last night. And Luke went back to school. It's been quiet. Very, very quiet. Except Mila telling me how much she does not like being down on the blanket for tummy time. 

Am I slightly bored after all of the events surrounding the holidays? Not yet.

Yesterday I did a whole bunch of surveys online (to make money for the next birthday or holiday), while Luke watched movies and played Minecraft before he had to return to school. 

My plan for the next few days is to put together our photo albums - Mila's baby photos and our family trip to Omaha and St. Louis - and to research our next trip… we're thinking Branson! 

Hello 2016!

Farewell 2015. You were a hard year. I was pregnant for most of it. And although pregnancy is fun, I still can't get around the fact that I had surgery during that time. Also the smell of the living room was unbearable. At times I have hints of the smell and I'm reminded of how much my stomach cringed and how I wanted to puke. I can't believe I taught at the homeschool. What did I learn from that experience? Man, that was rough some days. When there were fits and I had to take away game time or TV time, when I had to run around the yard playing some sort of tag... Always tag...., when all I wanted to do was sleep in or even crawl over to Miss Pat's couch during break time and just take a nap. I didn't mean to zonk out those last five minutes during Paw Patrol, but I was so tired!!! I can't believe the church camp we had this year. Nuts! I mean... There's really no talking about it because I think we're still questioning "What happened?" And, did we do something wrong??? Weird year 2015. But - I have a baby girl. She is beautiful. She is remarkable. She's my daughter. She brings this family joy and more. Let's see what happens this next year - hello 2016! It took ya long enough.
Here's to the constant changing and maturing of my mind, the success we have after a tough battle and the grace God gives us to make it through, and to living purposefully. I expect so much out of 2016... Really I do. Because it's good to have goals, and expectations... (Is this cheesy, having a New Years Resolution?)...

1. I expect to read again. And to pray again. I, in my heart of hearts, believe I am quick to turn to God. And I always want to. In my feelings I know that I'm lost without Him, so I'm eager to read and to pray, to hear His voice in the stillness, and to make a difference. This next year, my guess is, will be slightly easier because Mila will be on a schedule (taking naps, etc.) and will be able to entertain herself for a bit longer OR at least I'll know how to manage my time.
2. I expect that we'll have a better time saving and spending, and more fun hanging out with others because we won't be worried about the money being within budget. This past month we watched Financial Peace again. I realized, it's almost as if we missed the main points the first time around, including the bit on SAVING. How'd that happen?! Somehow all my attention was focused on making the budget and sticking to the budget. And in the middle of all the paperwork I forgot to put "savings" in the budget. First. Duhhhhhh.... So, all in all, spending in cash, getting rid of debt, and saving! Taking command and managing this money like a boss.
3. And, I know sometimes it appears "boring", but I expect to have goals again. Lists. A schedule. A focus. An organized life. Starting with the home - cooking, cleaning, budgets... And moving to outside of the home - future planning (furniture and vacation), fun family dates or crafts, planning to be social more. I believe an organized life is Biblical. So what if I like lists.

Today we'll be spending New Years Eve in. Just us. Ahhhh... Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with friends, but there really is "no place like home." And we have a fantastic one.

----

Some updates:
- We had a going away party last night for Mitzy. She's moving to Tennessee.
- Selene and Justin are pregnant. We found out at Thanksgiving.
- Maecy and Juan plan on moving in when their lease is up (in August).
- Mom's making her plans for her tiny one-room house, but in the meantime re-doing the back room.

Some thoughts:
- New mothers never have clean shoulders. Best to wear a sweater or scarf for cover.
- Will Mila be a hairstylist? Or like her hair played with? She sure likes grabbing mine. On the neck.
- I miss Mila's hair doing this small stick-up wave. It is sad when it lays down.
- Feet are curious things. Mila's especially. She likes to grab them now.
- And I like when, while she's nursing, she scrunches up her leg and places her foot on me. It's cute.
- Luke is Mila's hero. She thinks he's funny and only looks when HE says her name.
- Questions... When do babies start sitting up? Am I supposed to prop her or train her in a bumbo seat or something? You can help her now. Change positions to strengthen her muscles. Mila sticks her tongue to the inside of her bottom lip funny, is she teething? Is something wrong with that skin in the inside of her mouth? Is she just weird? What if she's not interested in the baby food that I give her? Do breastfed babies have a harder time learning how to eat from a spoon? By 6 months, baby could be ready for food. So don't worry if she's not doing it now - she's early. Drooling, chewing on everything, irritability, trouble sleeping, grabbing ears, and bulging gums are all signs of an incoming tooth.