Post Postpartum

A rightfully named post.
There are days when I have bouts of what I've been calling (in my head) "post" postpartum. Where it feels physically and mentally like the whole... of whatever the whole is... rests on my shoulders. Mila is usually crying frequently, I'm usually tender from breastfeeding and feel completely dried up and shooting milk dust, and Aldo always seems to be around (How does that work? I must be holding out until the days he's off work.) My first guess was that I was supposed to be on my period. I didn't know this, but you don't have a period when you breastfeed. But that doesn't make sense because it's been sporadic. The craziness I mean. Lack of sleep? Possibly. Is it the constant physical draining? The constant contact? Likely. The guessing games of why she's crying? Also likely, but easier as you go. Is it a growth spurt??? Is that why she's so hungry??? And I feel so empty?

See these are the things you don't see new moms going through, and I'm more than 2 months in. I'm my "normal" self again, but there are times when I'm weary of whether I'm actually done with the baby blues. <enter exasperated sigh here>
I can make it. All for baby. You're a good mom, Erryn. And you're a helpful dad, Aldo. You're a good brother, Luke. And you're loved, Mila... We just can't wait until you can finally crawl and grab your own toy that you want and can keep your attention, and maybe talk or sign to know what it is that will make you happy.
Tomorrow's a new day. Here we go!

I have to throw in another shout out to Aldo. As I'm typing this he's finished cooking, and is juggling her along with his food as she's "shouting" at him and watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 (because the first wasn't bad enough??) with Luke. What a good dad and husband. I'm so lucky.