Stay-at-Home-Mom vs. The World

I could literally cry right now. Or throw something. Or scream in my pillow. And then cry. But I contain a lot of my feelings when I'm overwhelmed. Or mad. I'll work backwards.

Today I'm upset because Granddad just walked in and the house is a disaster. I mean bad. Old food bowls out, couch in disarray, wrappers on the floor with toys and blankets and clothes, shoes blocking the doors and throughout the living room so you will most definitely trip over them, and diaper stench coming from the kitchen. Thank goodness he didn't go further in... to Luke's room, our room, laundry room, kitchen or bathrooms. (That's our whole house!) I'm passed embarrassed - I'm depressed really. All I can think is - I was raised better than this. But I have no help. And its not their fault, they're busy or tired or just too young to know what I expect. Not only that but Luke has had a cough and runny nose (thank you public school) and all day Mila has been crying where nothing helps (not feeding, not diaper change, not switching how she's held, not even being with me, Mommy) because she's sick now too. Honestly I feel like a single parent. But with an income. And then I have all these other duties: take care of the animals in the morning, do the newsletter, make a flyer for church, the family needs laundry, but don't forget to feed yourself. Take care of yourself, Erryn. Make sure you're drinking enough water and eating right. And having Erryn time. That's honest to goodness advice I just got the other day. Yeah, thanks. That helps. <sarcasm if you didn't catch that>

I am overwhelmed. My energy is GONE. I would say more, but then one might think I was being a "drama queen". Not true. I'm not being dramatic at all on this. Let's move on.

Yesterday, a lady told me that quote at the library. We were just catching up. She saw me with a baby and asked whose it was. Mine. She looks just like me... Ninkumpoop. (But I didn't say that.) Well, she's been studying nursing so now she knows everything there is to know about bodies and behavior.
Mess-up #1 - she told me to watch my child like she would swing back in a tantrum, like I wasn't holding her properly.
Mess-up #2 - she said I looked "tired"
Mess-up #3 - when I said "yes, I am... (Are you for real? Duh. I have a baby.) lack of sleep and I might be low on iron... I'm going to test out a few things and if it doesn't help, I'm  going to ask my doctor when I go in next" she offered more advice ... "Don't wait," she said.

And, you know what she said later.. (Stated above). Get some time to yourself.
The greatest mess-up is offering advice to a new mom when it isn't asked for. That means it's UNWELCOME. You don't know the background story. I was so nice in my responses... Dr. Phil, Oprah, Jerry Springer... They all would have been so proud of me. And on the way home, going through the conversation in my head, I remembered... I've been through this before. When people gave parenting and medical advice with Luke.

You want to help out? Carry the movies over to the check out and type in the number for me. Then carry the bags to the car. You say I shouldn't let people hold the baby because her immune system isn't fully developed... Don't offer to hold her then. Come to my house and vacuum. Bring over a meal. Offer a play date for my other kid. This isn't just a reminder to reader, whoever you are, but myself too. I AM NOT GOING TO BE THAT PERSON - THE ONE WITHOUT TACT. I'd rather be thoughtful and a real, true friend. Just saying.

As I was typing this out earlier, the word "abandoned" came to mind. I kind of feel that way. But I realize now, that's how the enemy wants me to think. The enemy wants me to throw in the towel and become bitter, etc. etc. etc. This is what it isn't - "stay-at-home-mom vs. the world". This is what it is - "stay-at-home-mom in a season and overcoming obstacles because she knows who's on her side and she knows the future GUARANTEED". Boom-shakalaka! (The answer is God. God is the answer. He's on my side.)

Dang, I'm awesome. Emotions are moot.

(I should probably add another "label" called Emotions. Or Venting. Here on out....)

P.S. And it made me so sad that this post is before Thanksgiving too. Lame. Let's get through this season, ok?