Frustrating Guess Work

38 Weeks : RE-DO

I had to re-do this post because it was extremely negative, even for me... and I just couldn't sit right with that. I was frustrated from multiple things - a lot not going my way... but things we can't control either. So it's with a lighter heart, that I edited the post and got the facts out there from what was previously written.

So on Thursday when I went in for my 37 week (and 4 day...) ultrasound, I was very excited. I was excited to see her face and movement. And I was excited to hear how well we were doing... but I didn't get the news we were exactly hoping for... I found out that she is measuring 8lb 11oz. Equivalent to 3950 grams or the size of a baby who is 38 weeks and 6 days. She’s a big baby. If she gains two more ounces (or by 4000g) she’ll be considered having macrosomia. We’ll be put on the list for a c-section.
How fun is that? Pictures of the doc cutting me open... and baby having foot pricks and constantly being monitored. I had a very emotional day and kept crying in the shower. I thought for sure things would turn around. Well, then of course, Daniel Tiger’s song flipped on in my head (Mila’s been watching it every time I go in for an NST; the library and Hoopla are a real life-saver...) - “when something seems bad, turn it around, and find something good.” Okay, okay... a c-section isn’t the end of the world. It’s safer for a big-shouldered baby. I wouldn’t tear. Wouldn’t get any more hemorrhoids or pop one completely out. Wouldn’t poop on the doctor. People have done this before and survived. Aldo’s mom has done this three times! I’ll be just fine.
After that thought, I had another like God spoke to me and said “three days”. And you know what was in three days??? Sunday. Also, David’s birthday. I thought how perfect! I did a lot of stuff to help it along - Bounced on the exercise ball, did the nasty, went for a walk at the park (kind of, trying to walk and teach the dog how to “heel” wasn’t the best idea), walked through Target, cleaned the house A LOT (scrubbed the bathroom top to bottom), and THAT is when I finally was having consistent, strong contractions. The whole shebang. Stomach tightening, can’t walk much in the middle, radiating back pain. It was marvelous! I was so excited. I even felt a pop like the baby’s head was locking into place. Secretly I was hoping for my water to break in the middle of the night. And I prayed for it to be obvious, like a gush or wake up in a puddle. I would even take contractions that make me roll over in pain!!!

Lately I’ve been having a trickling after I pee. And this night was no different. I had to keep getting up, probably every hour to go to the restroom and then it would be followed by a trickle and later a contraction and then I would fall asleep again. In the morning I wondered if my water did break but the baby’s head (being locked into place) might be making it a trickle. It’s all up in the air! There’s no definite answer or sign to look for, except to have it tested when you go into the doctor.

1. Waters will trickle with movement from you or the baby or with contractions.
2. Should be odorless. 
3. Should be clear.
4. Could be hind-water leak and then get resealed.
5. Shouldn’t be able to stop it.

** NOTE: I was right. If you can stop it, then your water has not broken. It is also a very painful test to have it checked. The doctor doesn't use lube and sticks a rubber-band like thing inside you (and I think it reacts to chemicals and changes color). I was negative for leaking.

Number 5 is what really made me call it as a false alarm. So then, skip forward. I kind of felt again that the Lord had said something about 7 o’clock. So come 7:00 am I’m anticipating my water suddenly breaking. Nada. Contractions actually stopped at 7am. Skip forward at church. Everyone is asking me - Did you go to the hospital? We heard you went to the hospital. Isn’t your baby here yet? When are you due? (I only had one contraction during worship from swaying.) I had people come up afterward at the taco dinner and say - in the name of Jesus baby has to come today. It was crazy!
I had a lot of back pain on the car ride home and I was like, maybe if I clean again... but by the time we were home I was exhausted. I decided that if God wants this baby to come, she’ll come and nothing I will do or don't do will change a thing. Maybe my water will burst in the middle of my nap. Still no. Afterward, the kids were going at it, so I gave up and decided to go back to the ball. Mom called and asked about Game Night for David’s birthday. Since Aldo had a last-minute diaper party, I was up to going. Right after I got off the phone with her, I had to pee. And I felt something drop out of me into the toilet (like a small glop) and when I wiped there was a strip of white stuff on the toilet paper. Was this my mucus plug?!

1. Can be clear, white, green, yellow, pink or brown.
2. Doesn’t always come out at once.
3. Can be 4-5cm in length.
4. A sign that your cervix is “ripening”, typically between 37-42 weeks.
5. Could be weeks, days or hours until labor starts. More likely hours if this isn’t your first birth.

** NOTE: If you are dilated or "thin" at all, then you have probably lost your mucus plug. However, even though the books and internet make such a big deal about it, the doctors don't. (I've also looked at the pictures and it's more of a thin, sticky-looking snot... or imagine an egg white. Not cottage cheese white.) The two big things to watch out for are: CONTRACTIONS at 5-1-1 (5 minutes apart, each lasting 1 minute long, for 1 hour) and YOUR WATER BREAKING. The doc also later tested my cervix and it had "thinned" but was not down, and I wasn't dilated much, if at all.

So now Aldo, Mom and I are on high alert for contractions, etc. during Game Night. By 7pm nothing has happened. By 8pm nothing has happened. I go home and by the time my kids are out in bed, nothing has happened. It’s 11:15pm and nothing has happened. Clearly no baby tonight. I’m questioning whether or not I lost my mucus plug now. Am I just a gross person and that was discharge of some sort, because in pregnancy there’s all sorts of things no one talks about and you end up finding about it later when it happens to you. If it was a mucus plug, my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. The only thing I’ve felt strongly since are baby hiccups.

The biggest frustrations are hoping, waiting, and guessing. All I can recommend is to hold in there. Your little one will be in your arms shortly. It's okay to be frustrated, but don't get mad at yourself or others, and try not to take it out on the people you love. Continue to hope and pray. Even if things aren't turning out like you want them to.