Wild Dreams

(The date and time stamp is a lie. I haven't been doing too well at writing my thoughts and happenings down on here. So the date is guess-work, but everything else really did happen.)

Welcome to the weeks 8-ish through 10-ish

I debated on the title of this entry too. The other option was "Enter Sandman" because I looked it up and as it turns out during the first trimester, pregnant women start having more dreams (probably from changing bodies, more sleep, and anxieties), and also more vividly. So here is a wide range of dreams I have had throughout the first trimester. Yay! (I don't mind dreams at all. Sometimes. As you will soon enough discover what my anxieties are…)

DREAM #1: "EARLY BABY"
Actually the first dream belongs to Aldo. He woke up one morning and said that he had this weird dream where I had to have the baby early. There were a lot of details. I think part of it was that I had to have the baby moved from me to a surrogate but then during surgery something went wrong, so they just gave me the teeny tiny baby. I don't know… sorry. But anyway, it was traumatic enough that it led to me having a dream the following night.

For some reason, I had to go in to the hospital and deliver early. There wasn't really any scene here in the middle, so skip forward and I'm in the hospital bed and they are handing me my baby. I'm expecting a little thing. Well, they give me this fat, white, chubby boy. I look at him and you know how you're supposed to have that baby bond… I didn't have it. Instead, I think uhhhh… this isn't my baby. I don't like this one. This baby isn't cute. Now all of that is in "dreamworld", but in "real life" I'm thinking oh my goodness, how can I be so heartless? This is a baby. How could I ever turn a baby away because he/she's ugly and I have no connection? Make a connection. 
After spending some time holding this big baby, I finally realize, this isn't the size of a premie baby. This is the size of a full term chunk. And, this one looks nothing like me or Aldo. Baby couldn't possibly be mine. I argue with the nurses for a long time, but eventually we get to the point where somehow I agree to take this one home for a trial period. ??? Even though I know in my mind, it's not a trial… they're just making me take this one home. So I'm in the van (which we don't have) and holding this boy and I'm just really despising him. Sorry chunky baby white boys out there! And I'm starting to cry because I know this couldn't possibly be mine. As I'm waking out of sleep in "real life", I briefly imagine that it goes back to ICU at the hospital. And in one of those clear, heated beds is the most beautiful and small, dainty caramel-complected (complexion?) baby girl, with a flower on her head that's covered in dark brown hair. She is sooo beautiful. And I realize, the babies were switched.
So when I woke up, I told Aldo.
The Obvious, Fear #1 - I get the wrong baby. He said he won't let that happen. From breath, he won't let this baby out of his sight. Good man. :)
The Deep, Fear #2 - I have baby blues and don't like the baby. Interesting, because with Luke I had a dream that the baby didn't like me. This time around I'm dreaming that I don't like the baby. Aldo said he would also help me with this if it comes up.

DREAM #2: "I FORGOT"
I had one in between #1 and #3, but since I held out so long on writing this up, I can't remember. Instead, there have been some short ones that have been funny.
There was one where I was playing cards with Jerad and he was cheating. Wouldn't happen in real life, even though he is competitive.
And there have been frequent ones where I wake up mad at Aldo. The one that stands out is when he and Pastor T lock me in the basement. I don't know why. I can't give you more info. I couldn't even tell Aldo later when I explained why I kicked him in his sleep. Hard too. But I knew I was mad because "he was being mean". It was a dream, honey. I couldn't believe he locked me in the basement! And Pastor too!

DREAM #2.5: "JUST REMEMBERED - THE APARTMENT"
Ha! I just remembered. I'm glad because this was a good one!
One day, Maecy comes over and says she's renting a new apartment and do I want to be her roommate. I, without hesitation, say Yes. I was making spaghetti, so I say, let me finish and we'll have it for dinner at the new place. I put the finished spaghetti and it's pot into a bigger pot, and I have a lot of dirty dishes, all silverware, so I put the silverware surrounding in the bigger pot and decide I'll clean that at the new apartment. We leave. I don't pack clothes, furniture, anything.
On the way, Maecy must have been reading my thoughts because she tells me it's fully furnished. (It's in Olathe.) So we get there and it is the weirdest layout of an apartment I have ever seen. Immediately I go to the kitchen which is by the front door, and start washing my silverware. Then she tells me to go look at my room. The kitchen is a long rectangle, so I walk out and my door is right next to the kitchen. I walk in and first thing I notice is that there's quite a bit of space. And it has it's own bathroom. Not like you're thinking though. All of the furniture is pushed up against the edges. So starting to the left, is the toilet, then the stand-in shower (and all of this is not separated, and it looks like it was built for the elderly or handicapped), then the closet, the bed (hey, which is big enough for me and Aldo)… oh my gosh, Aldo! I didn't even ask or tell Aldo! Oh my gosh, Luke! Where is Luke going to sleep? Next is a large dresser and that's the end of the room. Now if it were just Aldo, Luke and me, we might be able to make it happen. Luke would need a smaller bed than he has in "real life" and it would be in the middle of the room and in the way, but it could work. Then I realize, I'm about ready to have a baby. There is absolutely no space here. And, Olathe is so far away from NFM for Aldo. And, what am I going to do with Luke? What about school? This was not thought through…
I walk out slowly, not knowing how I'm going to tell Maecy, when she asks if I want to see her room. I go over to her room (by the way… where is the living room???), which is so much bigger than mine. I tell her my concerns and she said she thought Luke could sleep with her in her room. Either way, not going to work. I start naming people that would be good replacements for roommates: Ruby (they could carpool), Melissa T. (also could carpool, same age, values, and she's actually looking for an apartment), Jamaica T. (might want to start looking for an apartment soon, she goes to Olathe a lot anyway). Then I woke up. And because my brain was going, I kept making a list of people she could roommate with if the situation ever came up.

DREAM #3: "THE LION & THE FENCE"
Mom owned a lion and kept it in a tall (top open) fence in the back yard of our "real life" house. The chickens and ducks don't exist I guess. The day comes when she's teaches me and has me feed the lion for the first time. Basically there's a door, which is also made out of fence, that latches in the upper half of the fence. You take a large pole and unhook it, removing the door completely so there is a window-sized gap, throw the meat through the hole and then hook it back up. I get the first part done, but I can't get the door back on. It's too heavy; the pole isn't stable; it's just not working. The lion has finished eating his meat by now, and mom is yelling at me that I need to get the door on. I'm trying, but I just can't get it to hook. The lion starts climbing up the fence slowly and as his head peaks over the opening, and my heart is pounding, I swing the door and knock him on the head with it. He falls back and shakes it off for a time while I'm still trying to get the door on. When he looks up, fear just overcomes me. I can tell this lion is T I C K E D. He walks over, all masculine and domineering like, and to sum it up (because I can't remember the exact quote, even though it was so elegantly put) he says, "I'm going to eat you." Well, he jumps up the fence and out the door in seconds flat. I don't know why he didn't just maul me right there because the chance was wide open, but somehow I ended up climbing up the fence and escaping his flying paw from grabbing my legs. I make it up to the top of the fence. And jump down on the inside of his cage. He climbs up, I climb up the other side. We go back and forth. Until I realize, it's not "real life"; this is "dreamworld", and I start making up my own finish - in the background, mom escaped and went and got the Durango. She pulled up in the back yard and I jump in the passenger seat. The lion rams into the vehicle, but we survive. I wake up.

My heart was pounding so fast! I thought that the baby's heart had to be pounding too. I was worried that all this adrenaline couldn't be good for the baby and it worried me. Couldn't sleep. So for the rest of the night I was thinking of all of these questions I MUST ask J about the time he owned cougars in "real life". This was not my first, "the cougar/lion escaped" dream. But pregnant, it was worrisome.
Questions: How did you feed them? How did you make repairs on the cages? How did you even know how to build the cages? How do you still have your arms???

DREAM #4: "ISAAC"
There was some time that passed before this one happened. I'm including it because it's still a good dream and re-opens some of my fears.
It was the day to deliver… I guess. And they give me my baby. Weirdly enough, Goldie comes at me yelling how it's her baby, not mine. I'm like - no, this is mine. They gave him to me. There wouldn't be any confusion… I have the paperwork, etc. She leaves because there really isn't anything she can do.
Now, the hospital is attached to a Walmart, which is also attached to a water park. Big place, I know! I realize, I didn't get a car seat and I need one. So I go over to Walmart and look for a car seat. As I'm looking at them all they have are these like unusually small sizes, my baby has a bigger head. I decide, I'm just going to have to wing it and drive while holding the baby or buckle him in. Then I look at vacuum cleaners because we need one. They are really expensive, so I decide on a hand-held to vacuum up the poop. ?!?!?! Ya…
I overhear someone talking about a seat in the pool equipment section… I go over there. It's just a weird dream. I'm looking at all of the pool toys and imagining how fun it will be when we go to the pool and can use all of these toys. Then, the baby sees the water park and points. We walk over, my shoes getting wet on the fake beach part. And he says, "down". And runs to play in the water by the wooden jungle gym and slide. As he's running around he's saying words, one being "mom". It occurs to me that a newborn can't say words. Nor can they walk or run. Or point. Man, this is a big baby. And… he really doesn't look like me… he looks a lot like Isaac. It is Goldie's son.
I go get him and carry him out, walking back to the hospital department to talk about the mixup. They already signed the paperwork, so the baby is mine. As I'm standing there at the desk, I look down and guess who still has a huge baby-bump and is still pregnant…
I decide I'm just going to have to take Isaac back to Goldie. I'm driving through this really hilly, wooded area and catch up to Goldie and her mom, and then flip the car. And wake up.
Sorry for the bad ending. I thought the rest was funny though. The best part was when she walked up to me claiming that the baby was hers and how it looks like her, etc. and asks me, "Did you sleep with my man?!" It was kind of hilarious, more for the fact that she is very abrupt and straightforward like that.


So enjoy the dreams of pregnancy. No need to fear, especially about mix-ups. Hospitals are very good about keeping mommy and baby paired up correctly. Aldo will also be there for you. And you will LOVE your baby. No doubt about it though, it's a wild ride.